Benchmark: Lessons from a Woman-Lover!
"I beg you, sisters in Jerusalem-- if you find my lover, Please tell him I want him, that I'm heartsick with love for him." SOS 5:8, MSG
In my little (personal) study of Systematic Theology, I have dwelt more on Typology. Typology, in biblical exegesis, is the doctrine or study that rests on the recognition that the way God spoke and acted in the Old Testament was preparatory and anticipatory of the definitive Word and act of God in Christ. Also, typology is a study that tries to look at some earthly things that are of a type of some heavenly things. For instance, the relationship between a man and his wife (Christian marriage) is a type of the relationship between Jesus and the Church. So each time I study the Song of Solomon (SOS), I call to mind my little understanding of typology.
Hence, I always study the SOS with the mind of taking definite instructions from the Lord on our relationship with Him as His bride, as well as the relationship between a husband and a wife. In the above verse, we have the account of a woman-lover, whom I feel should be a benchmark for Christian women. When I read of her suffering and perseverance, in a bid to save her marriage, I thought: "If God would make this woman a marking scheme, many women will fail in the School of Marriage." Her persuasion and tenacity, with which she sought her missing lover, should be enough message for all married and single sisters. That woman had issues with her husband, which forced him away; but she went all the way, against all odds, to get him back.
One time ago, when her husband was away from home, the woman, who couldn't sleep because the man had returned very late, was livid (vs. 2). When the man eventually came, knocking the door; she, for obvious reasons, delayed in opening the door and left him at the door, for a while. (It was a foolish thing for her to do!) But by the time she finally opened the door, the man was gone. She searched and called his name, he was not found. That midnight, she risked her life in search of the one she loved. In the process, she faced grave troubles; yet she was not going to be deterred - her reason was simply that SHE WAS HEARTSICK OF LOVE!
Oh, how she suffered in the hands of the night guards, who took her for a thief! They smote her, wounded her and took away her veil. I imagine her writhing in pains, with blood all over her body; yet, being heartsick of love, she continued her ultimate search of her beloved husband. What are your reasons to want to let go of your marriage, just like that? What troubles have you faced in the quest to save your home, that are more than what she experienced? If you will quit your marriage for any reason, I can tell you that you have not known the true love, which covers multitude of sins.
In all her troubles, that woman never changed her confession about her husband. When the daughters of Jerusalem challenged her, that why would she kill herself for a man. She said her husband was "the chiefest among ten thousand" (vs. 10). That is, if they brought ten thousand men to her, she would still choose her husband - the same man who abandoned her and subjected her to serious tortures! That is forgiveness of the highest order! Can I plead with you, dear sister, that no matter what your husband does to you, don't change your confession about him?! Let it not be said that whenever you have misunderstanding with him, that is when you start calling him by his name, instead of the pet name you used to call him. True love should constrain you.
The bottom-line is, no issue is worth you quitting your marriage for! The delays you suffer now should not be a reason to rethink your marriage. Give no space to those 'daughters of Jerusalem' - intruders! Rather, be heartsick of love for your spouse, always. Be bold to extol his goodness and her beauty before the 'daughters and sons of Jerusalem'. Blessings on you, dearly beloved!
(Paul Pius - July 6, 2017; 5:51am)