Wow. I sounds like you had a very complicated relationship. I think you handled it well.
Isn't it strange how the people we are closest to can be the ones it's hardest to talk to? But sometimes I wonder if it's just as well. Several years ago I had a huge blow-out with my mother and her boyfriend. 20 years of emotional ammunition discharged in ten minutes. It felt great, and he even said he was going to move out. In the end, he didn't. And now I can't go and visit my mother without putting emotional armor on. (The boyfriend won't confront me but he won't talk to me either. It's all extremely awkward.) Maybe it would have been better to leave things as they were.
it's a tough call at best how to deal with those situations ... I was fortunate that I was able to create some emotional distance or there maybe been some blowouts.