It is exhausting. It is. I keep trying to invest in "fighting back" because I have to. If I fail, I have to look back and say that I tried otherwise, it'll be basically regret and torture for the rest of my life. I can't do that. But I know it's exhausting. It is.
I also know you can't speak freely. You want to! Trust me, I know. It's difficult. How do you have a safe outlet without getting into trouble?
For me -- I put on the mask. It's just the way it has to be for now.
Much respect to you! You get what I have to say... I've already figured my new identity: "Michael Freeman" - breaking more and more links with the past. Now as I think about it - going into prison over publishing a PDF or two is not the best use of my skills / energy / time... There are bigger fishes to fry. I'm involved (supporting) in a number of projects changing governance on the planetary scale:
Old system does not want to be changed. Peace to you.