After some posts about my experience with CPS and a violent father of my two oldest kids, I would like to explain a bit more about who I am, and what my goal is.
First of all, my name Anouk Nox is not my real name. It is an alias I chose to use last year for me as an author to bring out my story to the world. After what happend to us in Holland, I still want to remain anonymous due to fear of how far the fathers connections could reach.
Because I am a Dutch mom of 3 that recently moved to Budapest (after living 14 months in Spain). I live here with my soulmate, who has seen what I had to deal with from first hand from the moment I left to the womens shelter with the kids. After a while I decided to move in with him in Holland with the 2 kids, and he has been through everything that happened together with me. Some of the things I would not even believe they were happening, if he wouldn't have been to witness this all. He kept me sane, and the other way around. He has been my rock the last years. And we have a baby girl together who is almost 2 now, smart little kid but a hand full at this age, lol.
When I got in a women's shelter after the dad of my 2 oldest kids got violent again, I wrote notebooks full with my thoughts about the situation. This helpt me heal, and deal with it. I didn't have a clue about what was yet to come dealing with this violent person that calls himself the dad of my two oldest kids. I also wrote a letter to him during that first weeks when I was not allowed to leave the building, because they gave me the so called: code red. In this letter I promised to him, that one day I would write a book about what he did to me and the kids, and the whole world would know what the truth was behind all his lies and games.
I never forgot this promise that I made. I never gave him the letter either, but I kept the promise to myself to start writing. At first I couldn't because it was to painfull, but after some time, when all the damage had been done, I could only accept what was happening and be the best version of me so I could cope with this. What was difficult to do at many times, and I really had to learn to accept the situation, as I was not in the power anymore to change it by the time it was too late.
I knew my from my gut feeling (which I had ignored for years during the time I was with the father)that my only chance of getting them back to me, would be to get as far away from the father as possible. Why? Because eventhough I didn't give him anything to start the trouble again, he would just start again as soon as he felt like it. And by starting again, I don't mean getting into a fight with me, but after a while it was getting dangerous what he did. He started to stalk me, but the worst thing was, when he started to let people I didn't know stalk me.
With subtile hints during the activities I knew it came from him, but other people would not be recognise it, and wouldn't do anything about it. He saw my fear, and my fear kept feeding his activities. He even let people (we saw it happening) cut our gasoline line of the car during a heatwave in the summer. He let people break into our house (living in a house with more people so the frontdoor was easy due to connections) and I even found bullets (real ones, the police confirmed) in the closet, they fell on my head when I opened the closet.
I knew this was never going to stop, and as he had already taken the case to a level that I could not fight it anymore, because I was broken, I didn't want to live anymore. Because I lived in fear, I knew my only chance was to get the hell out of there. And I knew after a while he would not have any power over me anymore, because I wasn't there. But most of all this was for my health, I could not cope anymore, for my own sake and my boyfriend and youngest daughters sake, I needed to find myself back again. So our daughter would not be the victem anymore of his actions.
Because I can asure you, she was not safer either. She had medication for gastric acid, and when we were away for half a day and came back in the house. We gave her the medication as usual, and she started screaming and screaming, she was in aganising pain. I knew instantly that they messed with her medications. Some may find it hard to believe, but after what they did to us at that point, I knew they would not stop until something really bad had happened to all or at least one of us. As long as I couldn't cope anymore, and wouldn't be able to get back on my feet again. His goal was (like he promised) to get me either hopitalized for mental issues or to make sure I didn't survive.
At that point in our life we realised after research that the father is a psychopath. He will not stop until he has what he wants. We had some light at the end of the tunnel a few months before we left Holland. Finally there was a police officer that said: "They should have taken you seriously, this is going so much further than just 2 parents not getting along" she came to this conclusing when I reported him taking all the money of our daughters bank account. An account that was opened by me years ago, and I used it to stash the money for payments. Months before I had asked the bank if it would be possible for him to access this account, and they told me no, because he is not registered as a parent. So I thought it was save. He watched the money on the account since january, and decided to take all of the money out and just transfered it to his account (yes with name and everything) when our daughter was 3 weeks old.
He was so heartless that he hoped we could not buy our daughter any diapers and things she needed. A baby of 3 weeks! He did that to the mother of his 2 oldest kids. The police filed a report, and made many promises, but after almost 60 hours at the police station, and the notification that they would arrest him the next day, the help suddenly stopped. Unbelievable when you know that she called it the biggest stalking case she had worked on, and the case was even used in a police training for cases that should have been alarming. On 30 of the points that they used as a mark for an alarming situation, she had to confirm positive for our case. It all seemed so hopefull for about a month, and I was going through al the evidence (recordings, texts, emails, photo's etc) for hours and hours each day, week after week, only because I thought this woman from the police is the one that cares. She cared, I could tell, she sometimes had tears in her eyes while we spoke about the evidence. But it must have been like the other times before, that there was another officer involved with connections that stopped her from working on the case.
After this failed, I decided we are not going to keep doing this to ourselves, and we have to make sure we will be ok. That they won't have any power or control over us anymore whatsoever. Nor the government, CPS and my ex. It had to be stopped. People mostly didn't agree on our decision, we knew this before we left, but we knew from both our gut feelings that this was the only way to be us again. And we deserved to be at peace again. We had been taken down to the ground too long, this was going to end. And not because anyone else gave a helping hand, no, because we took control over our lives again.
The best choice we have made! Should have done this a year earlier, but back then I still felt like there was a chance of things turning out positive for us. Now we will be finally moving in to a long term appartment this week, and I can take all the time I have to write. Because my goal is to finish my first book this year. And as I want to take control over what happens to my book, I need funds to get it redirected when the time is there, and of course I need to have a good cover, and do some promotions etc. This book will only be the beginning of all my plans. But lets start with one thing at a time.
This year is my year! This year I will make a difference for women going through simular problems.
If you feel like you recognise any part of my story and you are a victem of the horrors of government corruption, CPS , social workers, or a horrible other parent of your kids. Let me tell you, eventhough the world may seem to fall apart, and you have no strenght left to fight, you do ! I felt that way, and we got back on our feet due to our own strenght. You are not alone!
Not only will you read my story here, you will also read about how I found out the narcissitic behaviour of the dad, and later on how he scored the highest score on the psychopatic checklist (official one we found online). And I will also write about my kids, so that later in life, they can read that I never ever forgot them. Whatever the dad my have told them, they are in my mind every single day. They will know later on in their lives, that I am a loving mother, and I want to cherish every memory I have with them.
My posts appear in the order that I feel like writing, because some topics are still too hard at this point to go into detail about. But they will appear when I am ready. I want to inform others, let my mistakes in how-to handle CPS and dangerous ex not be yours. I know the ins and outs by now, about how they take you down, bit by bit. Because I am clearminded now, and I don't believe in a fairytale anymore. Let me help at least 1 person, and my mission is accomplished. I have respect for this heartwarming community, and every single writer that posts under the Familyprotection tag. Let us speak, and never be silenced again!
I am Anouk Nox, and I will make a difference this year! Nobody is going to stop me anymore..
This post has been Resteemed and Upvoted by @familyprotection
are using "Child Protection Agencies"
to take children away from loving families
and place them in foster care or group homes
or put up for adoption.
THESE FAMILIES NEED PROTECTING.
Thank-you @anouk.nox for supporting @familyprotection
I need your support dear @familyfrotection what i do
Please help me @anouk.nox
How can I get a @familyprotection service?
Go to the @familyprotection profile and there you can read what they support ..
Ok my dear @anouk.nox
Thank you for the support @familyprotection !
@anouk.nox, I would be lying if I said I wasn't amazed at your strength and persistence. Making a good difference is what matters the most, whether anonymously or otherwise. Ride on strong Dear Friend..
Wow, this is a big compliment. Thank you so much, it means a lot to me. What helps me get through obstacles now is thinking: girl, you have been through hell this is nothing compared to that period. And after a few hours of stress about a problem, I find the positive side again, and turn it around. Had to learn this though, took a while ;) The anonymous part is pure for my feeling of safety, I don't want to be swept of my feet by fear again if that monster from the past accidently finds me. This way I can keep writing, thanks for your support!
This is the best resolution ive heard.. share your story so other can be saved.
Be proud @anouk.nox
You guys are gonna get there!! 2017 is gone..new chances!
Yes, at least then it has been good for something.. Thanks and yeah 2018 will rock!
Yes, I love your strong will, the only thing that can stop you is you, follow me back and watch out for my post on something like this. Thanks
@Anouk.nok
Thanks for your support..
https://www.gearbest.com/graphics-tablets/pp_1582134.html?lkid=12813304
The practice of advertising on people's post is frowned on. Highly highly irrelevant!!. Stop.
Welcome anouk.nox, hope you will have a great time here on steemit!
Thanks @lopezdacruz :)
@originalworks
Hey there @anouk.nox TIME TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE ! Welcome to Steemit! If you're looking for the latest and greatest news on Bitcoin, Ethereum and Cryptocurrencies, make sure to check us out :) especially if you're an investor. Our team read over 121 articles, whitepapers per day, we do in-depth research on upcoming blockchains and watch over 100 videos and segments and filters them out to give you the very best news and tips on the market. Cheers!
Thanks I will have a look :) Cheers!
god job bro......
follow me....bro
you did not read my post because I am not a man
Will keep reading your posts. I hope writing all this down will help work out where you are in this terribly sad story. I hope you remain strong enough to never let a man like this into your life again. I hope you find a solution. Keep talking.
Thanks for the support, and yes it helps! I have a good man now that has been with me side by side al along.. no worries about that .. And I will reach my goal :)
Wow... Will you include at least 2 to 3 image? I love to read! I like your story but for the eyes of the other people, they love with a bit of imagination.
I understand, but the image has to suit the story as well :) And If I don't have one that suits the story, I won't be including it, but I am thinking about some personal images and a signature to include, a friend will help me design them.. so a bit more patience please :)
yeahhh! That's great!!!
@anouk.nox, Maybe you can find pictures on pixabay, they have images free to use for commercial projects ...
It takes a lot of courage to deal and overcome such things. Not only you made it through this personal hell now you are sharing your story with the world and try to help other people in similar situation. Faith in humanity restored ! <3
It is hard yes, but It makes you stronger when the hard times pass by, and you see light at the end of the tunnel. Even more when things are going good, or great after a while.. And I promised that when I could I would try to help others too.. My experience is that most good things when you are in desperate need of help, often come from complete strangers.. People close to you (with these kind of issues) dont believe that the system is corrupt.. Strangers share stories and find comfort and see that they are not alone in this.. its a worldwide problem (unfortunately) Take care :)
nice
thanks, happy today
beautiful! All the best. Let me know if there is anything I can help with!
Thanks for your support :)
I love your strong personality. And respect you for the woman you are! Keep the faith!
Likewise Hetty :) I will, promise :)
Just do not ever give up on yourself. Thx for stunning story. :)
I won't ever do that again, I did back then for a while, but now I know, I can overcome everything.. There will be a day that the sun shines again brightly.. You're welcome!
Hello and welcome to the steemit community! :)
Wow, I haven't even finished setting up my profile yet but while browsing through intro's yours struck a chord in me. I know quite a few women in the US in different states who work so, so diligently and have been arrested for trying to help other women and children out of terrible circumstances.
As a single mother all my life, until recently (he's an adult now), I can't imagine some of the things that you and others have gone through, but my son and I had more than our share of crazy bad luck (psycho ex tried to kill me, he had candida in his brain with a 40% mortality rate for several years and that is only because we caught it or he'd be gone and honestly I most likely would be too, and much more).
He's saved my life more than once, literally. I had seizures for no reason (I suspect now it had something to do with our new exterminator switching chemicals) but he came home from school and found me during the throes of my first one. He honestly thought I was dying, the poort thing.
So we've saved each other over our lives and there is no one in this world I'm closer to.
I very much admire what you and others do for family's so selflessly. I am a very localized activist, but I strive someday to be able to truly do something on a larger scale like this.
For now though, it restores some of my faith in humanity to know that there others out there doing all they can and for the time being, changing one life at a time when I can even if it's just for a day is fulfillment enough....so far!
Sorry for the novel. I'm going to go get on my profile and everything. :) It's taken me awhile to finally get approved and situated. Take care and thank you for brightening my afternoon!
Power to you Anouk - I love your energy and your determination, and what's more I know how important it is to make a point of taking control back after you've wasted precious years on some socio/psychopath paranoid personality waste of space.
As far as wanting to make a difference, kicking old habits to the curb and starting to make drastic improvements in any way I can manage, we are on the same page. You are going to be the first person I follow. In fact this is the first thing I've written so far. I still haven't figured out how to set up my profile picture, cover or anything else for that matter. I have yet to introduce myself, but I had to say good luck.
Wow I feel honered your first comment :-) Welcome to the warm steemit community.. as I can read we have some things in common.. so I will press follow too and I will be looking forward to your posts here!
Welcome, hope u will have a great time.
I am so sorry to hear about your problems. I too was a victim of domestic violence even though I am male. I hear you sister....welcome to steemit.....you definitely have a FOLLOWER.
Sad to read that, i will check your posts too:)
This post upvoted and resteemed by @thethreehugs
Thank you @thethreehugs :-)
You are welcome
It looks like Hungary is safe place, isn't it?
I dont see crime often, but lost of homeless people..dont know if this country has a hogh crime percentage actually. I feel safe, thats the most important thing
I hope many folks notice this beneficial, be happy to share this along with your friends and different new steemians, as a straightforward guide of welcome, with several helpful resources. Also, if you have got some superb guide or resource that I even have neglected, please let ME apprehend right here within the comments section!!! impart You! have a good time, and Steem
Thanks for your welcome and support!
Please check new post "Introduce Myself"
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@jerrypermana/introduce-myself
I dont speak Indoneasia my friend :-)
Good for you. And for a noble cause. I sincerely wish you the very best of luck.
Thanks a lot @thesolarbear
Oh, haunting - YES, write, write, write, and hope-hope-hope they learn the truth. I'm so sorry that you and so many, many others have suffered broken families and alienation from loved ones, even their own children. This:
I will also write about my kids, so that later in life, they can read that I never ever forgot them. Whatever the dad my have told them, they are in my mind every single day. They will know later on in their lives, that I am a loving mother, and I want to cherish every memory I have with them.
When nobody is listening, tell the truth in the guise of fiction. Someday, we hope, someone will know your truth.
visit my profile
https://www.gearbest.com/graphics-tablets/pp_1582134.html?lkid=12813304