The first time I can really remember ever actually being taken from my mother was when I was 5 years old.
She had been in an abusive relationship with a man she "loved". His name was Sam and he moved us away from home to Kentucky. His house was in the country, the school was kindergarten thru 12th grade. I remember kids walking barefoot through the hallways. I remember getting on the school bus to go home after school, the song Swingin' playing on the radio, I am sitting in my seat listening and humming along. Swinging my short legs to the beat. So happy to be going home to my mom!
I remember walking through the door, and seeing my mom on the ground, crying.
She was holding the right side of her face, I walked up to her afraid, not knowing what happened to her.
I looked down on the floor next to her and I saw a little white and red "thing" on the floor, I lean down and pick it up and realize it is one of her teeth. I started crying asking her what happened, she wouldn't talk. I ran over to our neighbors house to tell her something happened to my mom, and someone needed to come and help her. My neighbor ran over to our house and called the police.
When the police arrived, they took us with them and told us everythng would be ok, don't worry, you will see your mommy again, the woman officer tells me. She held my hand while we drove down the road, all I could do was cry.
We were reunited with my mother a few days later. Off to Indiana, to find her next new love.
She didn't know any better is what I told myself as I got older. She was abused when she was very young and from then on was looking for that missing piece. Along the way she was in and out of abusive relationships and toxicity was a dark cloud that loomed over us for a long time. She wasn't out to hurt us, I know that. I hate that we had so many run in's with cps over the next 11 years. We were in and out of state care with each new relationship. We would have to go to family groups and they would see her making the changes she needed to make. So we would be released back into her care.
The cycle can end with one generation though. I was a product of my environment but I am not a victim of it any longer! So I lay this here to rest, with whoever chooses to read. Just because you have had a life of suffering, doesn't mean the rest of your life has to remain in limbo! Release the chains, remove the hate....Remember the LOVE....
A great touching story! Happy you came through it with the attitude you did. I am sure others will identify with your story and come away knowing they can get through it.
And for that short time after you got back you were in my class then you moved to a different school and I had to wait 7 years to meet you again.
we went to so many different schools within that time but once she got sick we didn't move anymore but as you know we were still battling the to and fros of it all...
My mother always had terrible taste in men too. Thankfully none of them were abusive (directly to us, at least) and we never had to go through foster care or CPS.
But reading all these stories of abuse and neglect just idiotic decision making on the part of the government agencies meant to look out for the most vulnerable - it's eye-opening, to say the least. I had no idea how widespread these abuses were, and it really makes me re-evaluate what a lot of the kids I grew up with might have been going through.
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad you could find strength in it and turn things around - in just one generation!
Well hopefully the more people share their stories it will open up more peoples eyes, the picture gets painted that cps is there to help but there are plenty of times where it is in fact a "kidnapping" I have afriend who just went through all of this this past fall, I know the dangers of just trusting anyone, not everyone is out to help. I hope that the cycle is done for, my children are still kind of young and I would like to think I have done a good job, I may not have all the riches or the best strategies but I know I am always ready to put up a fight if anyone wants to get in the way of me and raising my boys. I've had cps try and challenge me. I stand my ground and let them know I know their tactics and they will not work on this one.They will trick some into thinking it is for the best interest of the child but the younger they are the better the adoption rates, and it happens every second of every day.
very brave post @charisma777 <3 My mother had a similar life pattern it seems. My sisters and I were lucky enough that she just left us with our grandmother when I was 5 and we missed witnessing those fights and flights that ate up her life. It's sad really - I feel bad for my mother, she is still doing the same thing to this day..
they do make us who we are though :) I know I'd never make her mistakes and I guess that has saved me from repeating the cycle as so many do. Congrats to you for breaking the cycle too <3 <3 so much respect to you for putting your story out there for everyone to read and learn from
i am still breaking cycles for sure. It takes time to come to terms with the pain you can cause to another person just by doing what you think is best at least that's what I think my mother was trying todo all those years. I watched a lot growing up and even had the same behaviours as she had, but every day I realize I can make the changes, it is up to no one else but me! I just wrote another I am trying my best to be transparent about what I have done and who I have been, I hope that by doing so someone will maybe see the words and learn they are capable of doing something about the situation they are in. Now of course as children we are quite helpless to that. but bringing it into your adult life can and will damage a lot on the way if it isn't discussed no matter what it is.
you're amazing :) and really right on the money -bringing this kind of trauma or state or whatever into your adult life can seriously damage your life, it needs to be addressed and discussed and I do think, as adults if we start talking about this stuff we realize others have had the same struggles and we can help each other heal and help others who are just starting the healing process or maybe scared to start :) thanks again for sharing!
This is exactly why I put it all out there, I needed to for myself and hey if someone reads it and can relate I would like to think that what I have went through has helped me to accept the things I can not change, and to try and make amends with others which as I described above, I am a stubborn person or have been anyway and it takes time. I eventually come around and get unstuck. Thank you for reading!!
You're welcome <3
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Its very touching.... I learnt a lot from this.... Thank you very much
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