Approximately 4 months ago I met #familyprotection and just entered the platform, from its first support when I told my story, I miss a lot of information about it, but the first reason for all this is that when we leave a shelter, we try to to erase so much pain from our mind and never think about it again, the simple fact of evoking it makes us live again those unpleasant moments, if it is true, it was only a child but, there are wounds that are never erased among those is the passing of years separated from my mother simply because someone from social service came up with the idea that my mother was not financially able to take care of me.
There is a lot of information that as a child I did not know, especially the relationship with my parents and how it all started, since I was only 5 years old when this started, I think I already feel able to be a little more open with you and delve into my memory, however this does not mean that I forget it. When I was only 5 years old I was a really shy child, my mother and father had a distant relationship despite being together, I spent more time with my mother than with him, but, on one occasion, he took me to play bowling and throwing the ball for where it was not and my father had a disproportional reaction, I scream in front of everyone, since I had broken a part of the table.
There were many people there watching so far I do not have the certainty of who was the one in charge, in my country to rent the regulation equipment in the skittles they ask for your DNI, in this way I infer that they found the address of our home and just Next day the happy social service visits started, asking a lot of questions and digging into our house, I clearly remember that my mother had no idea what had happened and her surprise was very great when it started, when they opened the door to the CPS employee, my mother took me to my room, if I remember clearly when she finally left and my parents started screaming since my mother despaired about the situation.
They were increasing the visits once, until once they took me and asked me many questions about my parents, my school and even that I was at home with my free time, and if I felt comfortable with them, it is very difficult a child subjected to this situation feel calm and the truth is that I was not either, I know that after that, my parents had to go to a public body to undergo tests and certain investigations by the state, although they never gave them the precise information about it, one day they went to my house and since that day I was in a hostel for minors, up to 15 years old.
My childhood there was slow, I do not know if it was my desperation or the interaction with those children who, in my opinion, had considerable imbalances, the food they gave us was disgusting and the bedrooms lacked the proper hygiene, nobody really was aware of us in a specific way, we went to the playground to play, we saw the television and clearly forced us to go to school but nobody was in charge of verifying our student performance, there were few times that they let me see my parents and while, it happened time and I there, trying to know why my parents had abandoned me, I as a child thought it was their fault that I was somewhere else that was not my home.
When I reached adolescence, things became more difficult, they moved me to another shelter and there the men were considerably aggressive, even to go to the bathroom you should ask someone for permission and at lunchtime you could not sit anywhere, because the most likely was that you were beaten or robbed of your things, I, really never belonged to the abusive ones, on the contrary, I was the one who tolerated all kinds of aggressions, since physically I did not have much to defend myself with and within my features of personality is introversion.
Currently I think that at that stage I was going through a depressive picture since my interaction with the environment was almost nil, I only did the school tasks and nothing else, many times I got sick because of the poor hygiene of the place and indeed I underwent medical treatments that my parents never knew they were and in adulthood I could see that as a result of those medical treatments I developed gastritis, reflux and other gastric pathologies, since the drugs were very strong and caused impacts on my body.
One of the things that impressed me most inside the hostel was to see how the elders had forced sexual relations with the youngest, this clearly without the consent of one of the parties, I managed to escape unscathed from it, they told me the retarded one so my fortune nobody wanted to rape a delayed but, in many opportunities we could see that in the bathrooms and without saying anything to the authority since when this happened the same guys hit whoever said it. All the social service workers there had to know because they were walking in the common areas. I know that whoever went through this violation would find it very difficult to communicate it publicly, but it was something that happened so much that it even seemed normal.
Clearly most of this information could be acquired through talks with my mother, since only in my mind were the most demanding emotional memories captured. Many times I really wonder what they earn with removing an infant from their family, that they earn with having so many children and not paying attention to any, there were sick, abused and abusive children there when they came out of age and many of those they became delinquents, addicted to drugs or developed mental pathologies.
The rewards will be shared with you and I hope you continue to help those who need it. Thank you for awakening in me a feeling of company.
The rewards will be shared with you and I hope you continue to help those who need it. Thank you for awakening in me a feeling of company.
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