9-14-16
It's a horrible, horrible experience to go from nurturing your child one minute, to visiting him in a institution twice a month over 3 hrs away the next. It's as if your child has died. But that's how I grieve. Nathan was taken away from me on 7-21-16. He had no pending charges, or probation violation. It was his 1st Drug Court, he had no legal counsel, it was his 17th birthday, & his urine was clean. No one will help me help him. All I can do now is hope that the 17yrs that I had my son I was able to instill enough thoughts, beliefs, & good character to override what he's learning in there. My other children, & I grieve. We live from visit to visit, & a 10 minute phone call on Wednesday's. I have watched Nathan change. He's different. He carries himself different. He talks different. His vocabulary is different. He's depressed, he has developed anxiety, & has lost all hope for his future. He tolded me "Mom when I'm here I can't be the person you remember me to be. I have to be the person I have to be to survive."
Nathan had become unruly for less than 4 months. In those months he didn't steal from anyone, rape anyone, or murder anyone. Charges implying he has hit anyone are questionable. Nathan acting out as long as he did was because Nathan was placed with his 35yr old drug addicted, convicted felon uncle who's done prison time & elderly grandpa who is almost 90 yrs old. I only agreed to it because I wasn't given any other choice. Every time Nathan got in any kind of trouble I called his probation officer as I was instructed to do. Nathan needed to be out of the situation he was placed in. It took me a whole month to get him away from his uncle. Was Nathan allowed to come home to the only family, the only mother he's ever known? No, I had the choice of placing him with strangers in foster care, or with my mom. Which evil did I choose? My mom. At least I could visit him everyday, start family counseling & get him home. What worried me was my parents are addicts, & the fact that my step dad was praising Nathan a month before for lying to police, & having me thrown in jail. Still losing my son in the foster care system wasn't a option.
Nathan was so sorry, ashamed & embarrassed of the way he acted. He realized how serious all this was, & wanted to come home, to be with his Mama, little brother & sister, to go to school, & to have his life back.
I did everything I was told to help my child. Little did I know that every time I called Cecilia Wilson, I was helping stack up complaints which brought on charges that were blown way out of proportion. I did everything she told me to do thinking I was helping my son. All I did was hurt him.
Nathan has been torn from everything he's ever known. He's being brainwashed into thinking he's a addict. If he disagrees with anything he won't move up levels, therefore he won't come home. My son has lost everything. He has lost things that no person with a few petty charges, & experimentation with drugs should lose. Freedom to move around a room, gone. Freedom to speak to whoever one chooses, gone. Freedom to use the bathroom alone, gone. Freedom to choose one's friends, gone. Freedom to dress as one wishes, gone. Worst of all freedom to think for one's self, gone. Freedom to have one's own identity, gone.
The core design of these faculties conflicts with everything we know about adolescence, brain development, & delinquency. They take young people away from their families, their schools, their communities & they cram them into a harsh, punitive building with other deprived young people. They systematically take away their hope for the future, fill them with anxiety, depression, & lies. They shape their identities so they see themselves as addicts or hardened criminals, & then after 9months we return them to their communities. Instead of facing up to the issues with family involvement, & out patient counseling to help heal whatever trauma caused this behavior in the first place. We continue moving children through these pipelines that churn out one failed result after another, & create more issues than the behavior that caused them to be incarcerated.
I'm a single mother of 3 beautiful children. I'm a law abiding citizen, I work hard, & I take good care of my kids. My son had always got good grades, & stayed out of trouble. This all started over him running away. He started acting out because he was 16 & felt I treated him like a little kid. He is apart of a large group of men raised by women. He was just trying to figure out who he was. If I had to do all over I'd of gone about it way differently. I was falsely accused of domestic violence, & thrown in jail with a $25,000 bond. The officer who arrested me kept apologizing saying they had to arrest me due to Amy's Law. Even though I had issues with Nathan recently, & his story didn't make since. (The charges later dismissed.) I had to spend every dime I had on lawyers & Nathan still isn't home. I really thought the system was going to help me help my son, but that's not what the criminal justice system is set up for. It's no parent's friend, & that is something I found out the hard way. They don't really care for these kids, & that has broken my heart, because I always believed in the system.
My heart is broken for you and your son. I'm sorry for all that you are going through and your son.
It's devastating when you trust people (system) like that thinking that you can tell them everything so that they can help but instead they use all the information against you and destroy people's lives.
I can't even imagine what you and your family (kids) are going through.
@familyprotection and @canadian-coconut and @markwhitam is the perfect place to turn to and I hope that they can give you some tips and somehow help your case. They are absolutely amazing.
Thank you
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This post was upvoted and resteemed by @thethreehugs. Thank you for your support of @familyprotection.
My heart goes out to you! I treat all government representatives like the poisonious snakes they are. I will pray that your Son is returned, unharmed to you!
Stealing kids from their parents should be an income stream for the state!
>:(Maybe it does not sound hopeful, but at least you can see it. There are many who do not even know where their children are, I really regret