Truth and proof goes right out the window with the system when they feel it benefits them. They just want to shove you through the process so they can go home on time and get their paychecks every month.
I'm sorry this happened to you guys. I want to assure you that you make the best decisions you can at the time can given your situation and what you think might happen later. It doesn't always work out the way we planned.
None of this is fair, and even harder to get heard in court (need $$$$).
This book saved my sanity and my mental health. It was written to mainly men with a new romantic partner that have a CRAZY ex. However, this applies to all people who deal with CRAZY ex's. I'm NOT an affiliate. This is just one place to find the book. I will warn you though: I bought the book but couldn't read it for 18 months. It was too triggering. I had to be ready to read it. The book even admits it's hard to read and may take you awhile to make it through.
Get a copy and keep it on your shelf. You'll read it one day. It will help. https://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity/dp/1514683814?SubscriptionId=AKIAILSHYYTFIVPWUY6Q&tag=duckduckgo-d-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=1514683814
These are just my thoughts. I'm not judging you. I know many non-custodial moms who got screwed in more than one way with the system. You put good faith in. You act in honor. You do "what you're supposed to do." And it all goes downhill anyway. The book addresses this.
When I get more time, I plan on writing about all of that too.