A few days ago I wrote a piece about what happened when two social workers visited us at our home.
It's been quite stressful since, because they just waltz right in whenever they feel like it.
The funny thing is that when they come, they interrupt the most important thing they were 'concerned' about: the education of my children.
Because of that we didn't get as much work done as I liked and with the home education assessor coming to our house last week for re-assessment, it's given even more stress.
It's hard enough to show them the work we've done since we are un-schooling without them looking over our shoulders.
photo: lordalford.com
Backed in a corner at first but now I'm ready to fight!
When they initially came here, they mentioned my three year old and that he 'had to' interact with kids his own age and he should go to pre-school. At first I had no problems exploring the possibilities, but had a good think about it over the weekend and the more I thought about it, the more sick I felt. Even my friend Brian said he got nauseous just thinking about my boy going to any kind of school and it's not even his kid!
He's so innocent and pure, creche or playschool or pre-school or whatever you want to call it, would take that right out of him.
He takes all his clothes off and acts like he's a dinosaur because dinosaurs don't wear clothes either. I'd say this wouldn't be appreciated in school and called inappropriate, while to him and us it’s nothing more than innocent child’s play (he doesn’t do this outside the house luckily though).
There has been, what they call a 'family support worker, installed to 'help' us.
So far, the only thing she's been doing is tell me that she thought I should send the kids to school so I can have some time to myself...She said literally: "You can drop the little one off at school on the way to the kids school and you'll have time to yourself."
When I said that I am not going to send my kids to school just because I can have me-time, and that I had very good reasons for not sending them to school and that I don't feel like I'm making any sacrifices, she just stared at me.
In the week after the 'incident' with them I hardly slept (still don't). I kept going over their words again and again.
And then it hit me!
I didn't just start homeschooling one day because I felt like it.
It has been a long, long process. My eldest went to school until she was 13. I found out about the possibilities to home school in Holland when she was 5 years old. Unfortunately, in Holland you have to apply for education outside school before they turn 5. So we had no choice. When we came to Ireland I didn't know that homeschooling was even an option until shortly before she turned 13.
I may only have been a homeschooling parent for the last 2.5 years, I've been reading and studying about home education for about 10 years. Just like I have researched and studied every other choice I've made for my children.
So they may have a minor degree in social studies, done in either 2, 3 or 4 years. If you'd translate my work into a degree, I'd be holding at least a masters.
Besides this, I realized that they only work according to their instructions and by the book, so thinking for themselves is out of the question. I outdo them in that too.
It'll just have to become a battle in which I use my brain against theirs....
I'm ready.
I feel they are meddling more than they would officially be allowed to.
A few days before their visit, I got a phone call from Tusla here in Ireland.
Tusla is pretty much child protection but has different departments.
Until not long ago, registration of homeschooling families was done by the board for education.
But when I pulled my kids out of school, they had just changed it to Tusla.
So basically what this comes down to is that now all of a sudden, home education is assessed by people who work for child protection. While education usually has nothing to do with child protection.
Because of this, the people working there are a different kettle of fish all together.
The assessors could have been child psychologists in the past, or social workers, or teachers....
Anything really. They can and will have a completely different view on home education than someone in the board for education.
Anyway, the man called me for an appointment for a follow-up assessment for the children.
They had sent me a letter about this about six months ago with the words: "The assessor will contact you shortly."
So 'shortly' means six months with them.
Isn't it a funny coincidence that a few days after he calls me, the social workers show up?
Also funny is this: When the social worker asked me if the kids were registered as home schooled, I told her about the up-coming assessment.
She then said: "Oh, so you will see, what's his name? Eh, Terry I believe in this area..."
The funny thing is, the assessors can be working anywhere. They have no area. Someone from Dublin could have the same assessor as someone from Galway.
So the fact that she told me who was going to come to my house, showed me that she'd already spoken to him.
For six months I hear nothing and suddenly they're in a hurry. Hmmmm...
There's another thing I feel they are involved in and shouldn't be. When they were pushing me to send my son to pre-school, I told them I am going to the mother toddler group that just started that week.
It's at an indoor playground and because I have two homeschooled kids at home they have to join us.
The people there told me this is fine as long as they don't interrupt anything (there's a playground outside too and they can sit at the table with their games or something). This was fine the first 3 weeks and now last week the lady that works there came to tell me we're not welcome any longer if I bring the older kids because 'the toddlers might be afraid and parents might complain'. So that was that.
I think the social worker went behind my back and talked to them in order to force me to send him to pre-school instead.
Well, the joke is on them because I have a friend who agreed to take them so I can bring the little man to his play day.
The Assessment for homeschooling my kids - this is the ugly tail that follows these people
Here in Ireland we have to register our children if they are homeschooled and after sending in a form with questions an assessor will contact to make an appointment to go through all that's on the form.
We just had the assessment a few days ago and I will elaborate on that a bit more later, but what I can say is that I could immediately feel and see the social workers involvement.
I believe the assessor was pushed to do his review this soon (usually you never hear from them maybe once every 2 years).
I also think he was made to turn down everything I said.
This story has a very ugly tail.
I am truly getting sick of their involvement for nothing more than an incident where someone decided to call the police for my daughter who tried to reach me at the gas station. I am seriously thinking to leave this all behind. I didn't want to do this at all,
but it's starting to feel more and more like I have to.
They're leaving me no choice.
You are right to be suspicious, these people are looking for a reason to take your children instead of looking for the love and bond you have with your children.
You are right to speak out about this, and you are doing the right thing by standing up to them, I'm not sure of the law in Ireland but I wouldn't even let them in the house.
The fact you are going through all this because of one phone call is proof the system is flawed.
Please keep us updated.
We are here for you.
I don't trust them as far as I can throw them. I can't believe some of the stories I hear and it seems to be the same almost everywhere. I am almost starting to think it's better to live in an underdeveloped country as a foreigner, because they leave you alone there. I spent three years in Asia and never heard anything like the stories I hear lately in the US, Canada, Australia and Europe...And you are right, I usually wouldn't let them into the house, but I wasn't thinking really, they are so intimidating. If I would have thought about it a little, I would have said to her when she called me on the phone that we weren't home and if she'd like to make an appointment. I should have put the kids in the car and just left, but that's all after the fact. I hope this will never happen again, but if so, I know what to do. Funny thing is, because we expected them to come, my friend was here for about two weeks just in case. They came the one day when he started back work again and wasn't here. Thank you so much for your support, this community amazes me every day. I feel blessed to be part of it.
My heart really goes out to you. I'm afraid you are too right, I think you should be prepared to leave, because this doesn't sound right at all.
I want you to know I admire you so much for not allowing yourself to be bowed down by these ugly people. Stay strong.
thank you for reading and following my story. It is only because of my kids and the people here on Steemit that I get through these last through weeks. There is so much going on and you're right: it doesn't sound right. It actually bothers me that they seem to be on the background and seem to back off a little, because I don't trust them and feel they might be trying to get me more comfortable while they plan something else...I can't sit back and wait for that.
Exactly! I think the time to act is now . I am so glad you've found support on Steemit, that is so very important.
True. The people here are truly amazing. I love the community spirit here and couldn't imagine life without it anymore even though I've only been here for a couple of months.
A warning NOT to accept any so-called
helpfrom the Family Support Worker.A very good friend of mine in my town went through a terrible ordeal with Social Services after her child broke his leg.
Even though the bone scans and doctors ruled out abuse,
Social Services stayed involved and tried their best to find any reason at all to remove her children.
They told the mom that she needed "respite" and needed a few days away from her children. They asked her to sign a form that would allow her to have this break that they said she really needed. She did not, and found out later that if she had signed that form it would have been actually giving permission to them to remove all her children into government care.
She accepted their 'help' of a house cleaner.
But then the cleaner allowed the Social Worker to enter her home when she was not home, and search throughout her home for any evidence that they could use against her.
Their 'help' is NOT real 'help.'
But what an ordeal for your friend, I sure hope everything worked out for them. That is just terrible.
Just to think that those people would go through someones things is unthinkable. They do things that are illegal to anyone else and get away with it. I was a bit worried myself, because when the 'help' was here and we were all leaving, somehow I didn't manage to turn the key. The woman said: 'No worries, I never lock my door.' I didn't feel comfortable at all that she knew that my door wasn't locked but I had to go to collect my daughter. Lucky for us we have two big dogs who would never allow anyone to just enter, but I got the lock fixed right away after we got back just in case. And then I read this, I think I wasn't overly concerned...Just imagine.
Yes, my friend ended up okay. But she had to stay on her toes. The Social Worker also kept trying really hard to get her to say something bad about her husband, and told her that she should leave her husband. (Even though he is a GREAT guy!)
They simply want to destroy families -- period.
The only thing that the Social Worker found in her house was a messy laundry room that she tried to make her feel badly about.
However, after all of that ordeal she still felt very nervous ... and ended up leaving our province. She did not want to stay in this town anymore after being treated that way. So I lost my good friend that I used to visit with regularly, and my daughter lost her best little friend too.
And yes ... I'm glad that you changed the locks!
I know, they can't be trusted. They didn't ask me if I wanted help, they just appointed her. Only now I heard that it's voluntarily. But she's only here once a week and I'd rather deal with her than the other one to be honest.
I highly admire your courage and so sorry for the much stress this flawed system as put you through. Keep strong! cause you are doing the right thing. This community is always here for you and to assist as much as possible. Godspeed.
Thank you @kryptocoin that means a lot. <3 I know, the community here is awesome.
Wow! I had been wondering about your story and just was reading @crosheille 's post and she mentioned you, so I had to come check. I need to read your next newest one too. So sorry that you're dealing with this. Are there other homeschool families in the area as well that are having similar problems or is this just a thing for you at the moment?
@apanamamama thank you for reading and your kind words. At the moment I am their only target as far as I know, but I'm sure there are others out there that I haven't heard about. The Irish like to keep things like that to themselves so it would be hard to hear anything like this from them. It seems that they prey on single parents most. I have a friend (who recently moved away from here) who they tried to mess with as she is from Venezuela and speaks English but with a Spanish accent. They were trying to say that she could impossibly teach her children since her English was broken English. They were very intimidating. Fortunately for her she is married to a (Dutch) man who wasn't present when they initially came. When they came for a second visit, her 6ft3 husband was very clear with them: their children were raised speaking three languages and as soon as they could say this about themselves he would have a cup of coffee with them and a good chat....It was so funny to hear this, but it intimidated them enough to leave them alone.
Wow, that would be rather intimidating to meet him at the door! Amazing their kids speak all three languages! Those baby brains are like sponges. I need to do a better job teaching my kids Spanish!! ;) Anyway, so crazy that they target single parents. I hope that it will be resolved and they'll leave you alone soon.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I live in the United States in Indiana which is considered a green state for home schooling, meaning the only thing you have to do is keep attendance and make sure they have 180 days of instruction, but the state leaves it up for us and only the state superintendent can ask for those records. And at least with Child protection and Home schooling if we are messed with we have the HSLDA which for $11 a month will have attorney send out letters on your behalf to stop harassment and if needed even pay for an attorney to defend you if it goes that far.
CPS was "helpful" enough to show up at my door unannounced less than 24 hours after I was discharged from a 5 day stay in the hospital. Needless to say, I was exhausted, my house was a mess, and I homeschool my kids. The investigator told me that he had to do an "assessment" within 72 hours of the intake call. Which means the unscrupulous doctor treating me called them while I was in the hospital, meaning the doctor violated my patient privacy rights. Then, after interviewing my kids, the investigator told me he'd submit the interviews to his supervisor, and would get back with me by the end of the week, to advise me of "what they decide to do next". That was 2 weeks ago. He also told me that in my home state, the laws were being changed, so that CPS investigators could carry a weapon, and would have the same power that law enforcement officials have (i.e. the police). So they will no longer need to show up with police officers to come and take your kids. And this is in TEXAS, y'all!!! One of the last safe havens for homeschoolers! Get ready folks. It's coming.
Wow, I'm so sorry this happened to you! This are not humans, they're robots following orders. I know how scary this can be, they come on the most impossible moments, almost as if they're poking around in your life until they find those moments. Did you check up on what he said? They lie and cheat their way through their job. Just because they say something it doesn't have to be true...I made the mistake of letting them in, but reading all the comments here, I realized they can't just come in. I kind of knew that, but must have hidden the information somewhere. I had someone here when they came back again...I believe it helped. They like to intimidate, and with a witness that is not really possible. I just checked for the laws in Texas, but see nothing about CPS investigators carrying guns...Stay strong <3 <3 <3
Goodness. I am from Texas!! And I homeschooled there!! This is one of the (minor) reasons we chose to move to Panama. So scary that they can just show up, no warrant. They HAVE more power than the police there. What is happening now? I'm going to check out your blog and see if you've posted anything.
I have been following your story and my heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry that you are even facing such a horror like this.
When social services first approached your home did they have a warrant or a court order? From what I am learning they have no right entering your home without one of those. This is a sneaky way to get in your home and gather up evidence against you as @canadian-coconut mentioned happened to her friend. They used the one incident of your daughter calling you from the gas station and ran with it. They are now trying to make a case against you. The sad thing is, any notes or recordings of your conversations with them could be used as evidence against you in court. They had no right coming to your home. Did they mention the allegations against you? The more you let them come in and the more involved you allow them to be the more in danger your family is of separation.
Is it possible the next time they come by your house to say “stop right there, you have no right being in my home without a warrant or court order. I do not consent to any type of “help” you are offering.”? This might be easier said than done but it’s worth a shot to get these people away from your home and family before they cause real damage.
I’m wishing you strength and courage to stand up for your rights and your family. Don’t give up keep fighting!
Thank you @crosheille I'm sorry for the late response, I only just noticed your comment to my story. Thank you for the encouragement and well wishes. I have gotten stronger after they initially came at me with their fake authority. At first the only thing I could do was say yes and nod. They just have a way of doing that, kinda like the stern teacher in school. I hate that and it brings me off balance, but that's different now. I will not send my youngest to playschool and told them this. Legally there is nothing they can do about this since no one has to send their kids to school here at that age. I will also not send my two older kids to school. If they take me off the register, I will keep fighting for our rights. If all else fails, I will have a back-up plan ready.
Thank you again for your support and input. It means a lot.
You are absolutely welcome! No apologies. It gets really easy to overlook a reply after a few days. I am so happy to hear you are stronger and can see through their fake authority. I can only imagine what that felt like, it’s so horrible that they do this to families. That’s awesome that you have a back up plan.
I am a homeschool mom and we do not vaccinate our children. I am passionate about supporting others that are going through things like this. One day (Lord forbid) that could be our family in need of support. I will continue to follow you and prayers are being lifted for you and your family. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond back to me :)
I've dealt with this in the united states. In an attempt to keep them from invading my property, I secured all fencing with locks, and basically blanketed the damn place with "No Trespassing" signs. I kid you not, they just climbed the fences to get to us with their trite little lectures and interrogations. It's probably the same where you are: they get paid a commission for taking each child, AND they have a quota. And so much more, which you've likely learned about at this point. This is a very dark place, where these twisted creatures dwell.
Now... I'm not going to give this as advice, but rather, just tell you what I did. I played dumb and submissive to assuage their power trip while I secretly planned. Then... I got the fuck out of town and made myself as untraceable as possible. Since I'm in the U.S., I was able to go to another, far away state.
We are vax refusers, and I suspect it put us on a list, because my baby was a newborn still when they started with their shit. I'm very intuitive, and knew with total certainty that they were definitely going to take him if I didn't do something kind of drastic like that.
It worked.
In the end, it was almost a blessing. It took force for me to make a big move like that happen, and where I am is much more free, with lots of parents who pass on the shots and public schooling with no problems.
I'm following you now. To keep up with this.
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So sorry to hear its getting even more worrying. You sound like such a strong person, but there are limits to what you can do. Have you read the recent post by @tonyr which covers the importance of using the right words? I don't know if there's anything there that might help. Have you thought where you might go?
I will read it now. No, I haven't really thought about where to go at all. A friend of mine recently asked if we would like to spend some time with her and her daughter in Hawaii, and I've been seriously thinking about it, even just to have time to think about my next move, but it's not financially feasible at the moment, plus my eldest doesn't want to leave and she's still too young to just leave her behind (almost 16). I did talk to her about it and she does understand that if shit hits the fan that she'll have to come along. But she won't be happy about it and she's been through enough. The others don't mind where we go or what we do, so that will be easier.
what do you need in order to get out now?
Unfortunately a lot. My main concern would be an income, even though I always worked remotely, but at the moment this is not sufficient here, so wouldn't be anywhere else either. Then a HUGE issue is that my eldest daughter doesn't want to leave.
o, heck. i wish i could wave a magic wand.
maybe just writing down these things to get them out of your head. could be a start.
If you find one let me know ;) I'd love to have one myself. You're right, even writing it down could be a start. I practice Ho'oponopono and it always done wonders for us, but lately my mind has been a bit off track and I forgot about the powers we all possess. But slowly getting back to myself. It's just great to have such an awesome support network here. <3