Hi everyone!
Sunday's end is approaching, and the loneliness is beginning to set in again. I think the only person who knows that I'm not living with my husband, Jared, is ca-co. He's not allowed to visit unless it is approved, and he's not allowed to live here unless it is approved. We are allowed to visit him, and he's living at his mom's. Let's just say he was self-medicating with alcohol and he turned a corner - twice. His actions were not congruent to his normal behavior. Court was Friday, and he got probation instead of jailtime because he's going to therapy, holding down a job, supporting his family, and doing everything else he is supposed to do. I love him. We are better now after enduring a year of hell that included unemployment, severe depression, drinking, and a hellish CPS investigation to top it all off. When he is well, he is an awesome husband and father. This weekend we visited him at his mom's, and it was a blissful taste of how life will be again under normal circumstances.
We're okay.
We will continue to be okay, and even better than okay as the pieces of our broken puzzle are being put into place. Looking back, CPS trying to "help" put our puzzle pieces together only made things worse. They stole our dignity, our privacy, and our peace during our time of trouble, and my eyes were opened to how they really are. Even the person that called on us was awakened to how they operate. She thought they would help us. Thankfully the case was dropped, and I attribute that happening because of the awesome support of @familyprotection and the people of Steemit! When their investigation started, I remember @markwhittam saying something along the lines of, "When a family is going through hard times, troubles are almost always resolved without interference from CPS." He was so right! We are becoming whole again, no thanks to them...
So for anyone wondering, here's how we are doing!
This weekend was FUN!
Yesterday, we went to get our children's toys for tots and met the Marines who were handing out the gifts. You can see more about it in this post.
After we returned, my 11 year old son, Javin, helped dad with oil changes for both of our vehicles.
When they came inside, we had fettuccini alfredo! Yummy!
Two cousins visited, and all the kids played together. After they left, we ate snacks and watched A Christmas Story. "You'll shoot your eye out kid!"
In the morning, Jared lead a family devotional with the kids during breakfast.
Roxy the cat, who I like to call Pixie (because she's so light and tiny), usually doesn't like kids, but she does like to bite. Before breakfast, she surprised us all, and made her rounds cuddling up to everyone, including the kids. It was such a special moment for them. I think Pixie liked Javin the most.
Before it was time for me to leave, Jared and I spent some time in the cool little porch shelter on the deck, complete with a little fire, comfy chairs, and clear plastic walls to see out and keep the heat in.
Our goodbyes were bitter, but we were in for some sweets when we went to my mom's to make Christmas cookies afterwards.
Now we're home. So the stupid ending...on the way home, one of my kids pulled down the visor on the passenger side. I told her to keep it up. It was already malfunctioning and wouldn't snap back into place like it was supposed to because of them messing with it. The child behind her told her to pull it back down in order to show her something. I said no, and this child argued with me about showing her something really quick. I had to run into the store to grab something, and I said, "No! Do not touch that visor!" Then I gave a death stare just to drive home my command as I left the van. I really thought they'd leave it alone. I was gone for literally 3 minutes, and when I came back, this is what I saw.
It only took about a minute and a half to get home, but I think I chewed them out enough to last a lifetime. Then I ripped the visor off the rest of the way and threw it to the back of the van. Yeah. Big mom fail. That said the culprit and the instigator will not be seeing any devices for a while. Lol.
Anyway, that was our weekend in a nutshell! For anyone who still has faith in the "child protection" industry, what do you think? Our kids could be in foster care being abused, exploited, and unloved. We could be vainly jumping through hoops trying to get them back. I say this is better. Just as @markwhittam predicted, things worked out on their own.
Thanks for reading.
Love, snowpea ❤
I remembered about the split, but had assumed your recent post meant it was all behind now. I'm sorry you feel alone now because of it, but try to focus on there being a great result from this. Really picture great things in your head. For all of you. It will help attract some or all of it as you place your will on it.
I know this has been a rough year, and continues to be. Many of us can relate in various degrees and are with you in spirit. Think of it like we are all alone together :)
As for the visor, these guys swear by duct tape. :)
Well, he's definitely a multitasker! I don't think there's any hope for that visor though haha. Great times are ahead, I know it. Alone together is nice. That's why the Steem platform is so great! :)
You have come a long way. Think of all of the progress you have made. Visors can be replaced. People and memories cannot. Embrace the children and those who love you. Move forward knowing that God has protected you and the folks here @familyprotection care about you. Blessings and best to you @snowpea this Christmas season. Embrace the gifts of love.
We certainly have come a long way. It feels awesome. Maybe they'll even laugh some day, saying, "Remember when mom was so mad after we broke the visor, and she ripped it clean off?" One can only hope haha! Thanks @enjoywithtroy, and a merry Christmas to you! :)
I knew you'd had a bumpy year, but it was even worse than I had imagined. Bless your heart, and here is to hoping for a bigger, better, brighter 2019 for your family! 🤗
Thank you @thekittygirl! May you have a blessed 2019 as well! ❤️
Howdy snowpea! I'm so glad that things are working out and that the idiots at cps are out of the way, except for thinking about them this post is a thing of beauty. God bless you guys!
May you and your family have the best Christmas ever...together...
We are looking forward to it. Thank you @averageoutsider! Merry Christmas! :)
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Ha! I love A Christmas Story! "The mother of all swear words."
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Love that movie!! :)
I definitely thinks this is better! Thanks for the update on how you all are doing. I’m sorry for the lonely feelings, I would feel the same way without my husband around all the time. I am glad to see that you had a really good time with your whole family (minus the visor incident). I am also glad to hear that you are hopeful and believing that things will be okay and you all will be together again and back to normal life. I am glad you took Mark’s advice and decided to go this route. You have your kids and still are able to spend time with your husband. Hang in there and keep hope alive! You’re in my thoughts and prayers. I love the picture of your family doing devotion :)
Thank you! Your prayers and kind words mean so much! We're thinking if everything goes well, he'll be able to live with us again next month. :)
You are so welcome ~ 😊 That would be awesome for you all!
I got a good giggle out of you saying the cat likes to bite...must be something with that particular kind of cat which looks much like my cat Tookie also known as snippy cat and she will snip you as my grand kids who fail to heed the warning have found out. Here's a picture of her on top of some mattresses. A place she seems rather fond of given that when she was just a kitten we got the biggest laugh after she did a run up a mattress sitting against the wall so fast and hard she literally ended up upside down on the ceiling...to which of course she fell, she was all right but we sure did laugh hard.
She's getting up their in age but she's still quite the acrobat.
Christmas is one of the hardest things to go alone when you are use to having someone around. I remember that experience quite well after the death of my best friend. He'd always pop in on Christmas night. For a few years I use to go visit this place on a hill on Christmas where he sketched his initials into some wet cement when he was a teenager. When I was younger I lived on that hill and we often walked up there and sat. It's a long story between him and I. I wrote about it here for a contest once. I'll admit it took a long time for that void to go away, I knew if I kept going there I couldn't get over my grieving and my feeling of loss. I'd have to honestly say that of all the things I've been through in life that was one of the hardest. Be blessed you still you your husband to go to to help fill your void a bit until such time that something different develops in your futures whatever that may bring. I think I remember mentioning my kids dad also drank quite a bit, if I could give you one thing for Christmas just to carry in the back of your mind would be this and that is to remember that when they want to be good they can but often times it leads to the rationalization that that good doesn't turn into an eternity that we long for, not that I am saying it won't for you because I have seen where men have beat the demon of addiction but I've also seen many times the demon win out. I wish the best for you and your family this holiday season, you are a extremely intelligent, bright girl, and now I even see you are a beautiful one at that, I just know that whatever happens you will find the right path for you and I hope that path is filled with happiness and that your new year is filled with the best possible outcome.
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