I just want to thank the people who have been kind enough to upvote my posts and comment on my posts too. Especially the people who comment. I have a very very bad case of PTSD and severe social anxiety. I didn't always use to be this way... but it's very disconcerting and I know that it comes across as rude more than anything else.
I am shy. I always am afraid of saying the wrong thing when it comes to people I don't know very well. I had a very bad experience in the Blog World a decade ago of being Doxed and this coupled with my natural shyness is a potent combination for mental health...
I am so anxious about interactions with people that I don't even have voicemail set up on my phone for now... and I only take calls from people I know. I also don't open emails from people I don't know... and sometimes even when I do know somebody who emails.. I sometimes have to get my husband to read the email for me first just to reassure me that it's not somebody being awful.
This all stems from when I was a journalist in the Main Streem Media and I had a breakdown of sorts over a decade ago. I was reporting on some terrible elder abuse that was occuring on my Indian reserve. One of the people who I reported on was an elder with severe rheutmatoid arthritis. I did everything within my power to help make the situation better for her -- but there reached a point where she was calling me several times a day, every day for weeks on end asking for more help. I don't handle it very well when I am confronted with people who are dealing with a terrible situation and am powerless to do anything about it. This stress contributed to a major burnout and psychiatric illness for me. And the problem is -- i still, even after all these years have this issue of severe anxiety. It makes doing the investigative journalism work extremely challenging... I am wanting to get back in the saddle on this but it's going to take me a little while to get my confidence back.
The problem is that I have a big heart... and it gets very very worked up when I find situations where somebody is being treated unfairly. I have a tendancy to put myself and my legitimate needs on the backburner to help others. This is a practice that is really unsustainable in the long run. A true story... there was a woman who sought me out 2 years ago because some of my relatives on the Indian reserve suggested she reach out to m for help, to see if I could help. When she asked around about me and my reputation... She was told "Oh -- that's the lady that gets very worked up about things".
I even for a time had elders in my community forbidding members of their family from contacting me about lesser problems they were experiencing with the local band government. The reason they did this was to try and be a buffer against my natural inclination to fight like a banshee when I saw people being hurt. These days when a member of my community seeks me out, it's with the caveat that "it's got to be a pretty important issue to bother her with" -- As I've heard it's been explained.
I have medication for the anxiety - but I don't like to take it. But I find that when I am medicated, I am less hesitant to pick up the phone, or do social things, or read my emails. But I just last year went through hell getting off prescribed opiates for the arthritis that I have... and I don't want to become dependent upon the medication.
So the other day I was overwhelmed when I got soooo many votes and comments. I really want to pursue the research into the "Children in Care" - but at the same time... I am severely anxious about delving too deep into direct and immediate situations where severe and terrible injustice and wickedness is going on -- and be unable to do anything about it. So for the time being.. I am just going to pace myself with answering comments. I really need to be medicated to open them up and read. I do apologize to everybody for my inability to do this... It's just that when it comes to children being snatched from loving parents --- and govt agencies destroying families... for me there's such a thing as getting too worked up.
ALSO -- the issue of children dying and being injured and abused in fostercare is a deeply systemic one. There are soooo many horror stories... What I am hoping to do with my investigatio into these statistics and facts on the subject is to provide cold hard truths and facts about what is happening so that others who have it in them to more directly confront and assist on a personal and direct level will have more ammunition to use when advocating for the children and families being abused.
So I just thought I would explain that... I'm worried now about not having responded to the comments I got... More anxiety? Great eh? :) So I am declining payment on this post, just so I can get word out to those who have been kind enough to upvote and comment.
I have quite a bit of work to do now on this research I've laid out. Phonecalls to make, government offices to bug... access to information requests to file etc... So unless I find some news or item or tidbit that is particularly newsworthy on this subject as I pursue this investigation, I will only do an update maybe 1-2 times a week.
Bless all your hearts and your children and the children without parents.
The important thing is that you have the desire to channel the situation and the fact that you share it safely helps many people who go through the same. regards
It's all okay -- take your time and go at your own pace.
Have a great day!
Well said. No rush, no hurry and no worries.
We are all here for you@somena. Welcome on-board to the FamilyProtection crew!
Hi! Thanks for sharing your personal struggles. I know the feeling, I am quite shy too and often come accross as rude. Hope you find a way to overcome these struggles. Thanks 😊