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Those of you who read my posts in @familyprotection will know that my daughter is now experiencing unwarranted attention from social services. I'm not saying she doesn't face some challenges. or that her choice in father for her baby was a good choice, or that even choosing to have my grandson was the best choice. But the point is, they were her choices to make. Me and her mother support her no matter what choices she makes, evn if they are contrary to what we think is a good choice.
Teenage Mums
My daughter, I'll call her Amy for this post, is just a teenager. I look around both online and in my local community and there are thousands of girls just like Amy. She is young, has made some questionable choices and is now coping with the result of the choices she has made.
This is the first relationship she has ever been in of this nature. She isn't the first girl to think that a baby with a difficult partner may be the thing that binds them together and helps to "settle him down".
It's been a life lesson for her and us as she comes to terms with the fact that her ex partner doesn't care about her or their baby. It's hard enough for me and her mother and i can only imagine how devastated she is inside when she see's her hopes dashed by her ex partner. She's a teenager and only gives us small glimpses of how she is really thinking, like most other teenagers.
To rub things in the private company who are paid to keep "an eye" on her and baby are now stopping her going to friends houses. This company has at times enabled "Amy" to deceive social services and continue the relationship with her now ex partner. Their only concern that i can see them having is how their shifts are effected if "Amy" and baby need less attention (surveilance). It seems to me, In a chain from managers down to the individual workers there is a focus on profit above all else. It's a scandal.
Coercion
Most of what social services, and the private companies that now deliver most of the "care" do, is through manipulation. They use the obvious fact that they can remove her baby as the stick and they use "Amy's" desire to be free from living with their intrusion, as the carrot. I've sat here many a night and agonised over the position she is in. From what i can see, it's a terrible position to be in. Constant fear of losing the one thing in life that means the most to her. It's a powerful motivator but a very unfair one. Its called "section 47 enquiry".
This "enquiry" is a way that social services keep families and young mothers in a state of eternal panic and then pliant to suggestions they make. They lie about time scales of time different processes take to make the mother feel, "well it's only another 3 months" and i will be free from interference and the eternal worry of losing her baby!
It's a terrible position to be in and I'm sure not a great way to raise a baby from a medical point of view.
Taking Back Control
I think there comes a time when you have to "put your foot down", as it were. To challenge them on their decisions and use the courts to lay down some binding agreements to set boundaries in these matters. Up until now, 5 months down the line, "Amy" has been compliant with social services and the private company that deliver the care. She has done this as she was given false expectations that this process would only take a "few months". Yet now they have her in a position where she is staying in a house provided by the private company but charged to social services, but to keep that accommodation (that is very poor) she has to have at least 3 hours of face to face time with a support worker. In effect the support worker comes round and either watches TV or they don't come at all!! If "Amy" left this house now she would be essentially homeless and so risks losing her son for that reason. The private company will not provide the house if she doesn't also have the 3 hours of "care".
Courts
I have for a long time been telling her she needs to get a solicitor and challenge what they are doing in court. But it's her decision. She has thought the "path of least resistance" was what she thought was the best route. But she is realizing that the end goal is being forever moved. I know my advice is to do what i have said above. It's trying to support her and convince her to take the path that may seem more scarey. It's her decision.
Checks that would allow her more freedom are often kicked in to the long grass. Checks on anywhere she can go with baby. The only way i can see is to go to court to challenge what social services are dong or "Defy" one of their "conditions" and so force their hand. Obviously "Amy" is scared by this proposition.
It must be a money merry-go-round for the companies involved. They make money for the care they provide. So "Amy" is basically a hostage to the situation. I can't really imagine fully how much this all impacts on her and the baby but it must be huge. She has plenty of support from family yet this company has got in the middle and five months on are still waiting for "checks" on family members, or that seems to be their stock answer to most things.
My wife doesn't know which way to turn, she is driven by feeling. It hurts me so much to see her trying to do the right thing, supporting her daughter and challenging the companies that are manipulating her.
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Grand parental rights
I'm wondering if i can get advice from anyone who has been, or is going through, something similar, or can offer any advice. Can we, as grandparents have the right to challenge social services decisions surrounding our grandson? Even if it isn't initiated by our daughter?
We feel our daughter is making bad decisions, aided and coerced by a private firm who's motivations are obviously financial. They have been doing this for the last five months.
Even as grandparents there is fear. Fear of what could happen and what they may do. Hours and hours are spent agonising over decisions, mostly in the dark. Once when my wife complained about the private companies manipulation, the support worker just lied and was believed. When i pondered on this i realised, that private company will always be believed as social services, in hiring them, has to show confidence in their work. I've found it very hard to research the company "Second Step" online.
We really don't know where to turn next. That's why I'm reaching out to find anyone who can give me advice on the best way forward. The father of our daughters baby is violent and so we are adversely affected by that poor choice. Her ex partner is the sole cause of concern for my daughters baby from social services perspective yet everyone else is affected as he walks the streets. It's so unfair. Surely there are things the authorities could do to stop this man becoming a danger to our grandson and daughter??
It's a farce and while this farce continues the private companies get wealthy while social services, so under staffed, fail to keep an adequate eye on what is really going on. We are scared for our daughter and grandson. Yet we feel powerless to intervene..
Any Advice??
Once again thank you to @familyprotection for the opportunity to speak about this and drag it into the light!!
This is what doweries are for just fyi. I would have no problem withholding my permission for my daughter's marriage if the suiter was not willing to provide a dowery.
I am an American genocide survivor. I was not able to protect or rescue my 4 children, primarily because my relatives have no idea what family is supposed to be, or are too selfish to care or get involved. I have, however, learned a LOT about how this vicious cycle works and how I could have saved them. It's a huge problem. It's an intentionally directed war on the family. Extended families must protect vulnerable members. No one else is going to do it. If it were my situation and it was up to me, I would try to get the whole tribe together and leave the country. Together. The 3rd world has a lot to offer in terms of anonymity BUT there is still risk as these monoliths of evil do have a world wide web of capture and control. Barring immigration, I would suggest following white walking feather here on steemit for the information you all will need for in-place expatriation. The solution is as big and arduous as the problem but why are we here if not to learn and do? Please rescue your loved ones. You do have the power and you do have the right.
Why can't you daughter stay with you her parents? Would that not be better than in this "house" that was provided. Read this post that was done by @canadian-coconut and seek legal advice.
https://steemit.com/familyprotection/@canadian-coconut/finding-a-lawyer-to-fight-cps-and-defend-your-rights
Good luck with everything!
Thank you. She could move in with us but it would be a tight squeeze. She doesn't particularly want to live with us and her ex partner knows where we live.
Thank you, i will read the post you provided for me and you are right, first and foremost we need legal advice. If they can help us as grandparents, that would be great. Our social services haven't been privatised for very long.i only ever really see social services bothering the working class. We aren't what you would call "traditional parents". We live a quite alternative lifestyle.
Thanks for your advice, i really appreciate it...
Have a great evening..
Steem On!
You are welcome. Keep the @familyprotection up to date with what is happening. I write down your family for prayer. Good luck!
Thank you for the prayers. We are meeting with social services in an hour, hopefully..
Thank you for the help. Are social services just misguided or are they evil??
The very concept itself is evil. There are individuals within the ss that are well intended, but ignorant as hell. The longer they stay in, just like all hierarchial organizations, the more corrupt they get.
*WOW that was inspirational. What you wrote.
I'm sorry, I'm not sure what a "dowery" is? Is it some kind of payment to secure a marriage and if so, who pays it for who?
Alot of people in the western world have forgotten what family is supposed to be about. It has been intentionally destroyed like you said. Our whole culture in the west is being destroyed from the inside by dogmatic liberals.
Is "white walking feather" a name??
His username is @wwf
I like your user name.
Thank you.
I wish you the best with finding help for your grandchild.
Sorry, I suck at technology and am glad @life-relearnt saved the day! Thank you for your kind compliments. Doweries are basically an insurance policy paid by the groom to the bride's family, and held in trust against any abuse or abandonment of the bride in the future, or if the groom dies. That way, she can have something to live on if the worst comes to worst so she won't have to abandon the children to go into slavery. It's a great free market solution to poverty and child destruction.
This user name:
doesn't come up. Please clarify.
I am SO SORRY! His username is @wwf. He is amazing.
the truth is that the fact of being pregnant as a teenager is not easy, it is full of emotional immaturity and the decisions made are based on such immaturity, the truth is that if social services are carried by legal standards you as grandparents can stay with the custody of the baby if they request it but, we know that they can put many obstacles to the point of not considering them as proficient. The suggestion I can give her is to take her daughter to psychological care and evaluate the options before taking them
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