The Eric Schneiderman case has got me thinking about a topic I think about quite a bit: Male feminist predators. Woke baes who turn out to be wolves in sheep's clothing. Let's talk about it. This is Feminism Sunday.
Former New York DA Eric Schneiderman has long presented himself as a champion of women's rights. As the man who prosecuted Harvey Weinstein, he became a hero of the #metoo movement. He also beat up his girlfriends, choked them, slapped them, belittled them.
Samantha Bee had, as usual, the best response:
This is the dark side of male feminism, and it is a story we've seen play out before. This is also part of the problem with ally cookies. You never know who the public feminist is in real life. This is a very specific version of the bowl of m&ms analogy.
Is there a solution to this issue? No. But there is a very important step for us all to take. These men think their public feminism will protect them when stories come out about their private mysoginy and violence towards women. It must not. Bee's response is perfect because she knows the moment a man is revealed to be a monster, all past credit is erased. Harvey Weinstein himself was a similar case. He supported a whole host of liberal causes, thinking that will save him.
Also, I return to my thing about ally cookies. When men are saying things women have been saying, their voices - our voices - should not be elevated above those of the women who said them first, or who are saying them at the same time.
Now, I'm not saying for a second that this is more prevalent among male feminists, liberal men, or any other group. What I am saying is that violence towards women exists in every sector, in every type of group.
With your indulgence, I'll make this about me for a minute. I am a mod on @TeamGirlPowa, a feminist discord server with a strong presence on the Steem blockchain (there's a link to the server in the banner below the post). I am extremely conflicted about this. If I refused to be a mod, if I quit now, am I hurting the cause or helping it? Right now, the consensus among the other mods and the group's founder is that they want me there. As long as that's the case, I think I'll keep doing the work - inasmuch as offline life allows. But if the members and/or moderators ever change their minds on this, I'll quit. Putting a dude in a position of authority in a feminist space that strives to be a safe space is always a dicey proposition. I knew that going in.
But the plight of the feminist man must not be the main issue here. Being booted from a position of authority and/or privilege isn't fun, to be sure. But it will never be as bad as the violence perpetrated by these men. Balancing a man's comfort vs. a woman's safety is monstrous. And when people call #metoo a witch hunt, they're not only making that calculation, they're judging the violence to be the lighter of the offences. To which I say: Fuck you. No.
Also, as another solution, we could just ban men.
Related posts:
Allyship Sunday: Intent Isn't Magic
Feminism Sunday: Talkin' bout a Women's Revolution
Allyship Sunday: Representation Matters
Feminism Sunday: Male Savior Thoughts Following A Comics Contest
Allyship Sunday: Allyship Is Not Conditional
Feminism Sunday: It's Not About The Sisterhood
Allyship Sunday: Ally Is A Verb
Feminism Sunday: Splaining
Allyship Sunday: Stay In Your Lane
Feminism Sunday Redux
Feminism Sunday: Should It Continue?
Feminism Sunday: Feminists on the Blockchain
Feminism Sunday: Feminism 101, With GIFs!
On White Feminism
I Don't Want Ally Cookies
You Are Not An Alpha
Let's talk intersectionality
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great post and a very important topic.
i think this is crucial. it's akin to mansplaining on the deepest most crude level. here we have men getting precedence of voice in the very issue they're supposedly allying in. i've seen it in these instances. like in Men Explain Things to Me: Rebecca Solnit ... where weinstein starts mansplaining her about her own field (as one example).
when it comes to toxic men who hide under the guise of feminism.. sorry but these people are worse than the really backwards "non woke" people. do not be a wolf in sheep's clothing. where these men gaslight and abuse under a guise of feminism, the community needs to support and get real about it. step up for the women who have been abused and refuse to sweep it under the rug. community accountability is really the only hope here.
https://norasamaran.com/ is a go to on this!
especially this article: https://norasamaran.com/2016/02/11/dating-tips-for-the-feminist-man/
per you being a mod in a feminist group; i think as long as you uphold women's voices and hold space for them, there isn't anything wrong with it persay. it's when one would use that space to champion their own self above the voices they're purporting to support that it could get toxic.
This is an excellent response, and that's a terrific post. And it also reminds that I should probably write a post about enthusiastic consent at some point.
thanks. thanks for opening the door for dialogue. i would love to read your post on that.
resteemed @the-hearth @mountainjewel's earth-centered and consciousness raising curation account. thanks again @didic for creating dialogue around this! :)
great post and I agree with you. for me having you as a mod in teamgirlpowa is great because you are all about equality, so gender for me does not come into it, it's the person who really understands that, that counts and viola here you are.
I totally second this comment! ❤️
Thank you so much. I really appreciate that.
Thats true but on the other end there are many males too who are the victims of over-work abuse, they cant even be emotional, they have no space to cry and many of them have been left out of the equal rights they deserve. But, no one is sadly talking about that :(
I know didic already said it, but I'll chime in: feminists definitely are having that conversation. That's an important part of feminism for me—everyone should have access to and be allowed to express all of their emotions, including the ones that patriarchy tell us are not " acceptable" for men to have or express. And all people are potentially subject to violence, including men, and the fact that there aren't shelters that allow male survivors safety is shameful. There's a lot about society that we need to address, and feminism means equity, means we build a space where we all get space and room and safety and light.
Thats really good and comfortable to know. It is just sad that mostly such male oppression news are just ignored only because we think male can withstand anything and they should lolz but it is really a serious topic and appreciate you and @didic for taking part in it
Feminists talk about that. The ways in which patriarchy oppresses men are more subtle, but definitely real.
I don't see you as 'a man in power', I see you as 'a feminist man in an important support role'. You're the only man in that role in a group of strong women and you fit in due to your truly uplifting, modest and supportive character. No feminist space is complete be without a few men who are willing to proudly and honestly announcing their feminism as well. Very glad you're part of 'us'.
Thank you so much! Though I do think there should be feminist spaces for women without men.
Excellent Post, I am going thru your links that were on the latest.
I find myself in a similar position to yours in Team Girl Powa, I am somewhat of a mercenary for #teamgood and I am totally honored by that pedestal they have placed me upon. As a general rule, I support PEOPLE, and have found many friends amongst associated groups of #teamgood. These include people who are in feminist, LGBT and others who, if I might be allowed to paint with a broader brush for a moment, are typically thought to be "on the left". As a Libertarian Leaning individual, I seek Liberty and Justice for ALL.
Hope you do not mind if I follow the path you have blazed as a man allied with women in their societal struggles...
Supporting people means being a feminist, to my mind, so welcome aboard!
Thank You!
Follow for you, and I wish we could re-steem older articles.
Maybe I will write a follow-up from my own perspective.
ahah nice !
Terrible, male feminist predators are the worst and it's hard to see immediately their misoginy and inner violence..
Congratulations! Your post has been chosen for this week’s Powa Moves curation post, highlighting great writing and art from the #teamgirlpowa tag. 💖 Thanks for making @teamgirlpowa awesome!
Love! Its hard but I am glad you are a mod. I am honest and will tell you if you cross the line----and kick you if its the line of no return. Im very much Samatha Bee like !! 😂. THAT SAID. I look firward to you teaching other men how they can not only unwind their sexist training but also begin to help uplift women. I'm not worried about woke bae fucking up. I'm used to it. He still gets checked but I'm not gonna drop a good human who champions our cause and IS open to self reflection and shows up until he REALLY fucks up. ;) :P
The only question is can you conquer your anxiety in pursuit of these dubious goals?!