Before I didn't have a hobby of writing, I just wanted to. Writing history about myself. Hahaha ... I'm really nobody. But, what's wrong with self-correction? No is not, actually I just want to write a story who knows what it's called, which is definitely about my first love.
17 July 2012
Dear Diary ...
Today I am very happy. Today I have grade 2 junior high. Earlier in class I saw a very beautiful girl, at least in my opinion. Wow ... my heart beats fast every time I see and meet him, even while imagining his face. SHE'S MY FIRST LOVE !!
Ugh ... but I'm afraid to express my feelings, I HATE ME !! LLOOSSERR!
August 1, 2012
Dear Diary ...
Earlier I met him, oh yeah his name is Lani. I met Lani at the library. I don't think he saw me, but I watched him during recess until finally the bell rang. Ohh NO !! It turns out Angga knows if I like Lani. He told me to express my feelings but I said if I could not. I do not dare.
Angga went to the bench Nova and Rani. Anga told them to say this to Lani. Then what is Lani's response? I don't know what they are talking about. The distance of our bench is too far, Lani's bench is in front while my bench is behind.
After some time Nova and Rani approached our bench. "Sorry bro, Lani said she didn't want to go out first". Agh ... my heart which was beating suddenly became weak, almost not beating.
#aku: Ery ... if you express your own feelings, I would want to be your lover ...
Why are you so stupid !!
August 15, 2012
Dear Diary ...
A few days I tried to forget it but I could not. Each bumps into him. Every smile on his cheek. Everytime, ohh of course I can't forget it, as long as we're still together. I mean every day to meet.
But I enjoyed each of these meetings. Maybe I'll never see Lani again someday.
3 October 2012
Dear Diary ...
Three days I did not go to school. I feel so tired ...
And I really miss Lani ...
7 October 2012
Dear Diary ...
Earlier English lessons about personal development. Me and Angga come to the front of the class. I play the guitar and Angga who sings. The song Carridale - The Wandering. I dare not see Lani's face. Seriously, the bench is right in front of me. I only see the guitar that I play and I enjoy every passage. "We can be anything we dream, as long as you keep holding on to me"
#aku: I did not forget the slightest time, Ery ...
Ery, if you were more gentle and express your feelings, or at least you express your feelings once more ... and just so you know, I love you too. Too much ... if only you knew ...
1 January 2013
Dear Diary ...
This new year I don't want to go anywhere. Jeez, I know I'm stupid and torture myself. Seriously, the day after tomorrow, on the 26th December I expressed my feelings for Delisa in front of the class. I did not see Lani in class. I also don't know why I'm doing this. Maybe hopeless. I'm just lonely and I ... I don't know ...
#aku: if you knew Ery ... I was behind the door at that time ... and my heart was screaming. I can't possibly say that I love you. I can only save this feeling. Since you said that you like me, I started to like you ... why don't you ask me once again? You are really evil Ery .. I HATE YOU !!
30 June 2013
Dear Diary ...
Yesterday the school held a Study Tour to JATIM Park. I tried to get close and follow Lani from behind secretly. Anga says I'm crazy, but I think I'm really really insane. But I don't care. When Lani, Grace and Maia enter the Ghost House after they enter we also enter. Me and Angga watched them from afar and hoped not to meet Delisa, hahaha so bad of me. The three of them didn't stop screaming every time they met a ghost, making me laugh. It's funny, ghosts are only people wearing costumes.
When there are a T-junction, they enter a dead-end alley. They shouted so loudly that Lani cried then I approached her. "Lani ..." I called her name softly ehh she was even scared, then I took her hand and said that I was Ery. "Hi ... you're ok?" "No" "Ok, it's okay if I've held you". "Where are you?" "I'm behind" "Where is Grace and Maia?", Asked Lani "They are with me," Angga answered. "Okay, let's walk slowly, okay ..."
We slowly climb the fragile and dusty stairs. I hugged and led Lani out of the haunted house. My heart is very, very, very happy ...
#aku: Just so you know Ery, I feel what you feel
After coming out we separated. I still see Lani until finally turning. In my heart I shouted, "I love you Lani ..."
20 July 2013
Dear Diary ...
Today is my first day of 9th grade. Lani and I are no longer in the same class. Maybe from this moment on I can learn to forget it. Oh yeah on the 18th I broke up with Delisha.
31 October 2013
Dear Diary ...
I'm getting busy with school lessons to prepare for UNAS. So ... Ready for Study !! Spirit !!!
14 February 2014
Dear Diary ...
I haven't thought about Lani for the past few months. Today I want to cycle through his house. Around 7 o'clock I passed his house. I saw the house was very quiet, so I continued pedaling, eh, apparently in front of me I passed him.
I guess he was out with his girlfriend. I know he already has a girlfriend, classmate Ardi. Lani greeted me then I stopped and she told me to stop by her house. For some reason I immediately said yes. This is our longest and longest chat and thank you. The atmosphere was so awkward, then I began to ask, "why not come out on this beautiful night?". "It's not a day that makes it special, but how we can make the atmosphere every day fun, it will inadvertently make the day special. We just need faith, "Lani said, beaming. His smile is so beautiful. I might not be able to forget it. Does not feel so fast since then.
29 June 2014
Dear Diary ...
This was a school farewell. When praying together I was moved to tears. I was not touched to hear Mrs. Elvi recite a prayer, but I was sad because I separated from Lani. My First Love Forever. It is all over. But my love for him has never diminished. I'm afraid. Very very scared
6 July 2014
Dear Diary ...
High School, high school people say is the most beautiful times in life. That's if Lani is with me; (
Uh, never mind ... my life will be fine, I hope
7 July 2014
Dear Diary ...
Today I left for a detour school just to see Lani. I envy Ardi. I know that Lani is the type of loyal girl and Ardi is indeed a good kid, huff. I'm happy for you Lani, my love.
16 August 2014
Dear Diary ...
There is a pension at school. I contributed a song with my band. Wow, the enthusiasm of the students was so great. Especially when my band went on stage. They all cheerfully welcomed us. "Hey up everybody! We from the band The Mighty Bird will bring a song from Amely titled Come Back To Me, enjoy ”said Bobby our band lead singer. When we started playing music, I saw a cute girl who was sheltering under a sono tree while watching my band. After my band finished singing the song I immediately rushed over to the girl. I invited him to meet, Elegant his name. I think I'm in love, again.
18 August 2014
Dear Diary ...
Somehow it seems like the empty space in my heart feels full again. Looks like Elok likes me too.
August 22, 2014
Dear Diary ...
I was taking Elok with you earlier. Turns out he also likes rock music. I became connected to talk a lot with him.
29 August 2014
Dear Diary ...
After two weeks I got to know Elok, I had earlier expressed my feelings. Now We're In Special Relations 😀
4 September 2014
Dear Diary ...
I invite Elok to watch the concert. "Wow ... very exciting" Elok shouted with delight. I used to dream of inviting Lani to watch the concert of her favorite band. I can only smile to imagine it.
1 December 2015
Dear Diary ...
Doesn't feel like I've been with Elok for a long time. My life is very happy. I don't even think about Lani, I guess. I am very happy with Elok. He is encouraging on my every day. Thank you, Elok. I love you
25 June 2016
Dear Diary ...
I plan to end Lani's story here. Goodbye Lani I will always miss you.
7 April 2020
Dear Diary ...
I didn't think that Ardi was Elok's close friend. They used to be as complex as their homes and then Elok moved. But they are still good friends until now.
This is crazy!!
Really crazy!!
How could that, when I had given up everything and I had forgotten Lani, suddenly the feeling came back. I miss Lani, God ...
Said Elok Ardi and Lani will get married. The day after tomorrow Elok invited me to attend their wedding. My heart is broken, so broken that it's no longer shaped. As my life left my body, I was weak.
21 April 2020
Dear Diary ...
With a broken heart I finally accompanied Elok to the marriage of Ardi and Lani. Actually from waking up my head was sick and a little dizzy, last week I went to the doctor. The doctor said I have heart disease. Indeed lately my chest feels like being pricked and I have difficulty breathing. I feel, I don't know. This morning was really a bad morning. When Ardi opened the ring box I suddenly coughed. I knew if I coughed up blood, so I immediately ran out.
It turns out that Elok is following me behind. "Ery, are you sick?" Elok asked worried. I was still coughing so I could only shake my head that I was fine and then I got in the car. I close my eyes so I can't feel my tears falling. I quickly wiped my tears because Elok suddenly got in the car. "Ery, what's up?" I just fell silent. I also could not look at the face of Elok someone who loved me so far. "I'm not strong anymore, Elegant" I said as my tears fell out. "I'm sorry, Elok. You have already filled this empty space in my heart and I really love you, but I'm stupid. It is my fault. I'm the stupid one ”I hit my own head and Elok stopped me. "I'm sorry" "What do you mean, Ery?" Elok asked, holding my hand. Then I explained everything. "Actually Lani was my first love, and I still love her. I know I shouldn't say this. "
Then Elok touched my cheek and glared at me. I did not see the slightest remorse in his eyes. "What is wrong with you?" Elok asked .. "heart". "Why not tell me?" "Don't worry, I'm fine, thank you," I tried to smile. "You've been to the doctor" Asked Elok I just nodded. "so what will you do?". "I do not know". "Why don't you express your feelings to Lani?" "At that time I was not brave enough to express my feelings to him. When I had enough courage to express my feelings to him, it turns out Ardi first preceded me. I felt so bad at that time that you finally came and made me feel the beauty of life. I also thought that one day they would break up and then I would come in, but the opportunity only came once. I'm sorry Elegant ...
"My time here may not be long". "If you really love him show it, it's never too late if we want to try. Do what you want, I support you ". The word Elok encouraged me. "Is it true?". "Of course, but first you have to decide me. Eh wait a minute. Because you're the bad one, I'll decide on you. Ery, from now on we break up ". "Thank you" only this time I knew someone who broke his girlfriend by smiling and laughing when I knew he loved me, I smiled and then we hugged.
22 April 2020
Dear Diary ...
This morning Elok and I went to Ardi's house. They both are gardening. I saw Lani from a distance she was picking roses. I was very scared at the same time how he saw it. Ardi saw us coming and then he approached us. "Ardi, I congratulate you on your marriage". "Yes, thank you," answered Ardi casually. After that I was really confused what to say. Then I said goodbye to go home. Not yet a step I stepped Elegant pulled me. "Ery's say. Say it. What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for time to turn back? Are you waiting for you to die? Hah? What are you waiting for?" Elok is so angry to say that. "What is this? What really happened?" Ardi asked then I interrupted, "Stop it, Elok" "not for this we are here. Complete my words "in a still rising tone.
While taking a deep breath I told the truth to Ardi that Lani was my first love and my last love. I asked for help so he gave me a little time to spend with Lani. I said if he would have Lani forever, but I was only a few seconds. Ardi just kept quiet without saying a word. Maybe he's confused or thinks I'm crazy. Then some time later he spoke, "I do not know to be angry or sorry for you, but I am also a human who still has feelings. Do what you want to do "I'm a little relieved to hear that,
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