Forgetting brother is indeed the most difficult thing in leaving this high school. But I always try to give up brother, even though you are the first person in my life for the longest time. This time I was honest, very honest this time. I really had to completely forget about brother, because there was nothing that could be maintained. Sis, I don't know if you know what I mean by all this time. Always asking and telling everything to brother. But the small things that I originally did now turned into big things. Events that I must erase from memory:
I
At first I did not know my sister at all, maybe during the MOS I had met my brother, but did not care about your presence. A small thing that I initially liked was another Word. Only a small part of my friends know which Word I like. I am indeed shy in this matter I always pay attention to the people I like and the problem is I always face the class and my friends pay attention. Since my sister's class was before her class, I lied to my friend who didn't know and said that what I liked was sister. This lasted quite a long time until the beginning of semester 2. I began to realize that he was not the person I wanted to be.
M
Today is my class turn for the ceremony. At first everything went fine, but not at the end. When the prayers were all messed up, my friend didn't read the prayers smoothly. So Tri's book told him to replace him. This is the second time I know you during my first grade, even though I only know you just like that.
O.
This is still when I like the other words. I was sent to take part in the quiz competition at SMAN 1 BKT, with my friend Yutri. I thought the other Pi couple was another Word, but it turns out it was big brother. At that time I was still shy enough to talk with my seniors who I did not know. When the opening of the race, a sister friend who was a girl invited me to talk about brother. He praised you, about your intelligence and your kindness. Only then did I begin to find out about brother. When I lose, you cheer me up. I felt a little strange, surprised, and nervous because I was crazy, because my brother was the first person to entertain me all this time. While waiting for your friend's brother, maybe you remembered about someone who had been infested with flies, my friend Yutri and brother talked to each other, while I just kept quiet.
R
Secretly, I started paying attention to everything about brother. I began to lose my original purpose. Many things were noticed by me in such a short time. The time when grade 3 students start facing the UN. You went back and forth to my class to see Tri's book for your school's sake. All these things begin to change everything.
E I
'm finished. But it did not stop there. After graduating from UGM, Tri's book discusses more often about brother. That of course added to my curiosity about brother. I tried to find out someone who is always praised and discussed by Tri's book who is none other than brother. I began to communicate with brother.
T
Someone turns out to like brother. I really just knew that from my friend in class 2. Yessi, a girl who had met my sister at that time. They said, he liked my sister from the beginning of entering high school, and had followed my sister's activities starting from Student Council and PD. He thinks I'm his rival, even though I'm actually just curious about brother. It's quite difficult about this, because everyone thinks we're fighting over a guy when it's not at all.
H
Fasting last year was the biggest suprise for me. I, who had been aware of all of my brother's activities, had no idea that you would come on my race day. I originally knew that my brother would go home, really surprised to see the arrival of brother. This reminds me of that time. Quite surprised, but the incident that keeps happening over and over again, I don't dare to greet the person I admire. I decided to sit a little far from my sister's place, even though most of them were alumni. I want to say hello to my sister but unfortunately my embarrassment is too big to prevent me from talking. So I decided to just pay attention.
A
The last day of school in Ramadan. My friend Fika has planned to interview brother. I began to ventured to meet brother. But at the last step I turned around and refused to see my brother. Although my friend had persuaded me, but I was stubborn, I just watched them interviewing my sister from afar. The lengthy interview is enough to make me feel jealous, especially since Yessi has also met my brother. I started doing strange things. I kept calling my friends to go home and in the end I decided to go home alone. Shortly afterwards they went down and went home with me. They told about their interview. One of them asked me if I was sure I didn't want to meet my sister, even though this might be my last chance to meet and talk about everything. I still didn't want to and they told me about Yessi who cried when she met my brother. I'm a little sorry, but not to make this little thing bigger.
N
Lebaran also came. Fun, I tried to text brother with another number. Want to know how to respond when you know someone who likes you. And my admiration for brother is increasing. My fad resulted in an answer from an amazing sister. The admiration that was once small is now even greater.
J
I finally got to grade 3. I had prepared various plans. I already plan to continue studying at UGM. But this is not because of you, but I want to try to be independent. I tried to focus trying not to increase curiosity about brother. But in reality, my defense wasn't strong enough to not find out brother's situation.
U
UN is getting closer. This problem is increasing. You didn't text me back. I started to think negatively, but I remembered my brother's sentence for not having negative thinking. I convinced myself that my sister was busy and because of that I held myself back and accepted the excuse that I made myself.
S
I'm beginning to think that no-no longer. I thought you were mad at me, but that confused me. You don't show your anger. I'm afraid that what's wrong or the fact that you're really mad at me. In the end, guilt toward me approached me. I don't want you to hate me.
T
SNMPTN announcement came. The announcement in the afternoon was really tiring and painful. The internet cafe is full and the day is getting bitter. I did not pass SNMPTN. Shortness felt, I felt I had no hope to be independent anymore. But for the sake of my parents I tried to get up. Although all night I cried due to failure. I told my brother failure, but unfortunately this time it was no longer like before. There are no more sisters who comfort me. The next day I immediately registered for SBMPTN, although it was hard to tell everyone that I had failed.
A
When I started choosing majors I still thought of choosing majors at UGM. But the pressure and demand from my family made me relent. I just chose to study in Sumatra. Although it was hard to let go of my change plan for the better, but I convinced myself about this. The plan that I made couldn't be thrown away.
D The
time to SBMPTN test is getting closer. I'm so afraid not to graduate. My weakness in death makes me doubt. I slowly began to erase memories of my high school days. I deleted all the numbers related to high school, only a few of them were still stored. I do this because I want to keep doing my plans. Make a new Vemby and bury all the memories of the past
M
Brother, I have indeed disturbed your life for a long time. Finding out and admiring brother for a long time. This is still a block to this day. I haven't been able to apologize directly to brother. And I didn't have time to explain all of this to brother. Only through this short story, I tried to explain everything to brother.
I
always try to forget brother. Sorry if I tried trying my senior myself. But the shadow of my brother always reminds me of my dreams first. As I write this short story I am still trying to forget about brother. because you are still a precious sister to me. But I have to keep moving on right? I can't possibly hope to be able to apologize to brother.
R
With everything I have done so far, I hope you will forgive me when I make a lot of mistakes on you. Indeed, high school was my time to carve many memories. I am proud and happy to know you. The figure that has made me change more than my fear.
E
Only my last hope is left for brother. Hopefully your college will go well including your martial arts activities. Maybe I really can't meet brother. But this is the only thing I can pray for brother. I hope you get the best and get your dreams. Thanks for all.
YOU
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