A group of accomplished scientists from an Ivy League University were tasked to launch a shuttle into space to stop an incoming asteroid that could wipe out the Earth. They ran over budget and didn't have enough to buy fuel for the shuttle.
So in order to secure funding for the project, they had to agree to accept some new team members known as, "the gurus," with differing views on how to launch the shuttle. The project required precise calculations to alter the asteroid's trajectory and prevent it from hitting the earth.
First, they had to find the amount of fuel needed to launch the device into space. The scientist took out their scientific calculators and began to crunch some numbers. They found they would need about 500,000 kilograms of fuel to complete the mission.
The gurus came up with a different solution. They said with complete confidence that only 100,000 kilograms of fuel would be needed to complete the mission.
The scientists double-checked their math and came to the same conclusion as before. They asked the gurus how they arrived at their answer. The gurus walked them through the steps and it appeared they did everything correctly.
So the scientists and the gurus all took out their calculators and went through the steps together entering the same information into their calculators. But somehow the scientists and the gurus still got different results.
One of the scientists noticed something odd. The gurus were using calculators he had never seen before. Instead of using the standard scientific calculators made by Texas Instruments, they were using a brand made by Divine Solutions Inc.
The scientist asked the lead guru to see his calculator. The guru handed him the calculator and promised him he would like it much better. The scientist entered 5x5 into the calculator and hit enter. The calculator display read 37.
"I see what the problem is," said the scientist. "Your calculator is broken. It is giving the wrong answer."
"How dare you!" exclaimed the head guru. "These calculators are infallible!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. But look what happens when I enter 5x5. It says the answer is 37."
"Then it must be 37! It can't possibly be incorrect!"
"It is clearly malfunctioning. Why do you think your calculator is infallible?"
"Because it says so in the instruction manual! Look! Section 1, Paragraph 1: 'This calculator is infallible.' And that comes straight from Divine Solutions Incorporated. Their founder created the entire universe!"
"Do you have proof they are infallible?"
"Do you have proof that they aren't?"
"No, but that isn't—"
"Some things are just beyond our comprehension. Don't be so arrogant."
"I'm just trying to be reasonable. We need to use science if we want to complete this mission. What you are doing just doesn't make any sense. How can you defend your position without any proof?"
"I don't need proof! I have faith!"
After arguing for hours, the lead scientist arranged a meeting with the project manager to request that the gurus be taken off of the project.
"I'd love to help you, but my hands are tied," said the project manager. "The only way to get rid of the gurus is for the science committee to hold a vote. There are 100 members on the committee and you will need 60 of them to vote in your favor. If you don't get the 60 votes, you will be forced to compromise with the gurus."
"Ok, well it shouldn't be too hard to get the votes after I make my case to the committee," said the scientist.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that. Half the committee fully supports the gurus. They don't trust the scientists at all."
"What? How did that happen? Why is the science committee made of half gurus?"
"That's just how the citizens voted."
"This is going to be a disaster! Arrange a vote with the committee. We have to try to stop them."
The project manager arranged a vote with the committee and several days later the scientist and the gurus presented their cases. After hours of debate, the committee voted 53-47 in favor of the scientists, but it wasn't enough to defeat the gurus. The scientist had no choice but to compromise with them.
The scientist and gurus continued to debate, but neither side gave in. So the committee leader stepped in and decided to average the calculations of the scientists and the gurus as a compromise.
"You will use 300,000 kilograms of fuel and that is final!" said the committee leader.
"But that isn't enough to reach the asteroid!" yelled the scientists. "It won't even make it into space! It is just going to go high up into the atmosphere and then fall into the Atlantic Ocean."
The gurus countered, arguing, "It is too much! With that amount of fuel, the shuttle will explode the moment it is launched!"
"Well, it's in God's hands now," said the committee leader.
The committee leader arranged for some engineers to load the shuttle with the 300,000 kilograms of fuel. The following day it was ready to launch.
The whole world was watching when the clock started counting down from ten seconds. When the clock reached zero seconds the shuttle started to launch. Ten seconds later it was hundreds of feet into the air.
"It's a miracle!" yelled the gurus. "The divine creator has prevented it from exploding!"
About a minute later, the shuttle ran out of fuel and fell into the Atlantic Ocean at the exact latitude and longitude the scientists predicted.
The next day, the asteroid collided with the earth and everybody died.
That was awesome.
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