It’s getting chilly in here.
No it’s not.
Check the thermostat.
It’s 69 degrees — should be fine.
Are you sure?
Well, I don’t feel what you’re feeling.
I mean, did you get the reading right?
You don’t trust me? Go see for yourself.
Yup it’s 69 degrees…but I’m getting goosebumps all over.
I think it’s just you being oversensitive.
You always say that.
Not true?
Whatever. Wanna watch Netflix and cuddle?
Uh, not right now. I’m not really in the mood.
Why?
Had a long day. That maniac yelled at me for some slip-up —
I’m still feeling cold.
It’s all your in your head.
My head? The hairs on my hand are standing.
You think you feel cold, so you feel cold.
Are you telling me not to trust what my body is saying?
No, I’m saying there is a chance your bodily senses might be faulty.
Why not the thermostat?
Erm, it was working fine and we had it checked last year.
Last year was more than five months ago.
Right. But it won’t break down so fast.
What makes you think —
Maybe it’s just the horror movie you watched last night.
Is it me or are you growing more cold to me?
What? Honey, that’s nonsense. Where are you getting these ideas from?
Well I asked if you wanted to cuddle and you said no.
And I told I’m tired. I don’t get it. I’m doing all I can to work hard for you, for this family and —
I know, but I can’t shake off that feeling that — the phone’s ringing, go get it.
Who was on the line?
Just a colleague asking about the deadline.
Just a colleague?
Honey, do you trust me?
Yes, but which colleague?
Why, do you want to speak to her yourself?
Goodness, you don’t have to snap at me like that.
I was just asking.
So was I.
Honey, maybe just put on your pullover and go to sleep.
I won’t sleep til you have another look at the thermostat.
Why are you making life so difficult for me?
I’m not, I just —
You are! I had a bad day at work and now, this!
You’re heating up. I hear the phone.
Let it ring. We are talking this out first.
The phone is ringing. Pick it up.
We are in the middle of —
Pick it up!
I’ll go look at the thermostat —
PICK THE PHONE UP NOW!
P.S. This was originally posted on my Medium page here.
And the image is sourced from Pixabay.
Wow, you really nailed that dialogue down - was feeling myself getting drawn in to it more and more! Grateful that I am single and don't have these kind of conversations any more haha!
Awesome work my friend, take it easy :)
@nickyhavey Thank you for your kind words - will seek to continually improve! ((:
Haha, single for this season?
Haha not just this reason but it's one of them 🤣
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Wow, nice job creating characters through dialogue!
That was an interesting dialogue to read. You really made it very real. Kinda sad, but real. Great job on the writing! That dude is totally cheating on her with his "colleague", they'll be broken up by next week... lol! Nah, I'm kidding. I'm sure they'll work it out.
@derekrichardson Aww, thank you (':
Sometimes reality is sad, but one can always hope for a better future.
They'll work it out if the dude is genuinely repentant and wants to be committed to her again (or this is my personal opinion).
Taking care of family doesn't just start and end with going to work and coming home. People forget who they are and also lose sight of their spouse in the process. Nice work in what you wrote here. It sends a clear message :)
@foxyspirit Indeed! I'm so glad you share the same sentiments ((':
I read this loud voice and it was quite amuzing, natural and hillarious. Did he check the bloody thermostat lol
@jonsnow1983 Probably, probably not :p
/
He's just oblivious to her concerns and needs.
Being tired is no excuse for turning down cuddling!
Proud member of #powerhousecreatives
@toddrjohnson that's ABSOLUTELY right!
Sounds so fighty ; __ ; I hope they will work it out.... I know it is a story but you captured the couple's emotions so well with these snippets of dialog!
Amazing, @joeylim <3
@veryspider It is a conflict afterall, hahaha.
My friend said it sounded like a couple she knew in real life...
Thank you for your constant support! <3
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69 degrees... Oh, Fahrenheit. I guess so. Unless there are some references I'm missing...
It's only dialogues but I can hear them in my mind. They say less is more, maybe that's really true...
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@lilacse Yes, Fahrenheit, haha.
At first I was going to paint the whole scene, then I decided to experiment and see what I could do with pure dialogue (:
You wrote it beautifully I could literally imagined the whole scenario. 🙂 Well done!
@iamjadeline Aww thank you for the well-wishes! (:
I felt like I was sitting in the next room, overhearing a private conversation! Excellent job with pacing, and simply letting the dialog paint the picture. I have goosebumps now too!
@traciyork Thank you so much!! ((:
Eavesdropping - it's like listening to things that you don't really want to know about (ignorance is bliss) but still you're hooked to find out more. xD
via GIPHY
Are You writer?
It's cool!
The conversation is intrigued, I want to know more about this pair)))
@daring-celt Yes I'm a writer ((:
Ah, yes @joelim. So many pictures in my head! Well captured!
@fionasfavourites appreciate the kind words ((:
Go Joey!!
Really flowed.
@rebeccabe thanks for the support! (:
Tooooo reallll
@kaerpediem I feel you!
A pretty good poem
@wales thank you! (:
So much suspense and drama in this dialogue 🧐
@ireenchew I take that as a compliment, thank you ((:
Great job painting a picture through your characters' dialogue!
@rwedegis Thanks for imagining the scene I wanted to paint! (:
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That is a conversation I have had many times. Except there was no colleague, the furnace was actually broken and the thermostat was sitting next to the stove in the kitchen.
Ren
@xcountytravelers HAHA. Why is the thermostat even doing next to the stove in the kitchen? XD
Excellent work. 👏
Thanks @wonderwop!! (:
Nice one!
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@robmojo Thanks! (:
That sounds like a doomed relationship. I sure hope they work it out - or that it at least works out in the end.
Great job @joeylim. Great breakdown on the dialogue.
@tryskele aww thanks alot! 😊
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excellent dialogue. I love it when you don't need tags, you can see the action without it being described. :)
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@felt.buzz thank you so much! (':
There's the bare bones - the rest is what the reader - you - make of it in your head!
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