I actually thought I was leaving my dream, I thought I had it all. I had a couple of men who provided me with virtually anything I wanted. I was comfortable. You could say I was rich, even though I didn't drive a fancy car or live in a posh estate. I had more than enough, with sufficient to spare and still not feel a thing. I thought I was on top of my game, but that was until I met you.
You came into my life when love didn't mean much to me. The first time I saw you, it wasn't love at first sight; it was lust at first sight!
I didn't know why, maybe it was my sense of adventure or my insatiable appetite, but I wanted you. And when I want something or someone, I always had them no matter what. And so I gave you the green light, you didn't hesitate to make a move, just my kind of man! I readily accepted the moment you asked me out, thus, our journey of love began.
You were very loving, sweet and kind. You were also fabulous in bed, a big plus for me. I didn't know how it happened, but I started falling in love with you. You didn't have much then, but you gave me everything you could.
I found myself going extra lengths for you. Taking care of you in every conceivable way. I wasn't the one to give a damn about any guy, but with you, things were different. I could spend my last dime on you. I could borrow and run into debt for you and I wouldn't still mind.
You were my everyday crush, my one and only love, I could literally kill for you! I was stupid in love!
My friends will often mock me and ask if I intended on settling down with you, cos you were so effing broke and couldn't afford to take care of me. But I didn't mind, I'd work and take care of us. I loved you that much.
I told my mum about you, she even talked to you over the phone and fell in love with you instantly. You were my potential husband, it was just a matter of time.
And so I was in the rollercoaster of love with you for about a year, then the unthinkable happened!
I still wonder what made me go through your phone. What was I looking for? I didn't even know but I guess I found it. Right there in your whatsapp was the girl whose contact was saved with "My Princess."
You told her everything you've ever told me. You literally copied my sweet messages and forwarded them to her! You eulogized her so much, her cooking, her dexterity in bed and how she was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. So I was the side chick all along??
I wasn't gonna fight my fellow girl for a man, I had that self respect and dignity for myself. You didn't value me even when I valued you more than the air I breathe. I'm not gonna cry anymore, I've cried enough, I've learnt my lesson.
Thank you for all the sweet memories, all the love and affection, even though they might not have been real. Thank you for showing me that I was capable of loving and being loved.
It was all good while it lasted.
I wish you all the best with your new catch, I just hope she doesn't end up like me.
Best regards
- The one you loved and lost.
