Distance seems to be quite helpful for the phase of forgetting and ignoring, but it didn't happen to me ... "
Yellow silk and floral motifs hung flat on the body wraps, today was the last day I met him, the hair was swept by the breezy breeze, knowing that the tram stop I was sitting on this time was overcome by the wind like a hordes of demonstrators in the easy area.
"I'll be there in 15 minutes" -Feroz sent a message. Nearly 11 months I did not see him again, after the ceremony of the charter and his gray suit at that time.
Me and Feroz are like two human beings trapped in the flow of God's narration, he loved me first, but our relationship was limited to mere friends, he loved me at the wrong time, when my heart and attention were focused on "he" someone who squandered me.
"I will always help you, protect you from afar, make sure you are fine, but if you are happy, I will disappear like a foam."
The tram arrived late, whether it was a mistake on the scheduled departure, I was in a hurry when I found the message Feroz "Viki", I found a signal, he might have arrived and was tired of waiting for me. I walked out of the tram while untying my hair.
"Have you been waiting long?" I asked, Feroz kept looking at the field blankly, he nodded.
"Sorry" I said once again, but there was no reply from his mouth. Feroz I know does not change, men are stiff and cold, who will only talk when really needed, many people do not like it, because of the nature and attitude that is arrogant and rigid, but not for me, Feroz is still a kind-hearted, funny and will be angry if disturbed, just like any other normal human being.
The glowing sky above the building seemed to be a witness to the meeting of 2 people who were about to split up, the orange color of the sky at that time became the decoration of our meeting. Silent meeting, we sat side by side, but we sat like ourselves, no words came out of Feroz's mouth, his eyes occasionally glanced at his watch.
"You are still as annoying as before" I began to open a conversation, began to budge in order to improve our situation and our meeting which was very cold.
Feroz shook his legs, bending his arms around his chest without replying to my words. I smiled, "you're still the same" I said once again, I saw a wrinkle wrinkle on his forehead.
It is not an easy thing to understand Feroz's character and it requires full patience to understand all of it, it's only fitting that he is said to be a lot of strange creatures and saiko, because some of his nature depicts that.
"I respect you, love you the same as I respect and love others, but for you, I leave more" I said
"The day after tomorrow, I'll go" Feroz straightforwardly spoke to me without looking at my face.
"Is it as fast as that? Then?" I answered his words
"Yes" Feroz quickly silenced my question, without replying to the question I was asking
I sighed, whether since two years ago when I parted with the person who wasted me first. I began to feel that the presence of Feroz at that time was indeed an extraordinary presence, the severity, I realized after I lost the warm figure of Feroz.
After that short answer, we stayed for almost 30 minutes, we were busy with our own views. I wonder what was on Feroz's mind at the time, so he felt comfortable lingering shut his mouth tightly even though he knew beside him there was me, or maybe it seems he did not realize.
Ringing in my ears was Feroz's statement stating that he would leave the day after tomorrow, a shadow appeared in my brain, I would be free from the attitude he didn't want, I would be free from the feeling that was waiting for me, affection. I started to love him from two years ago, when his gentle greeting began to disturb my days that used to be full of tears and I know now, I love him so profoundly, so sincerely without me loving me too.
Recalled in my memory when Feroz yelled at me, and said that I had no right to love him and told me to stop the feelings that I have, then go away. But what I do until this moment, I keep saving the love that I have. The love that I have I think is the same as other lovers, who easily pass by so quickly, but in fact, I'm not them, not like them, "I sincerely love without having to be loved because love is heaven to me".
I began to fly away with the most painful things I had ever experienced, the irritating remarks that Feroz often showed me. He is a sweet, big-headed man, his hair is always combed neatly, he is cold, hard and arrogant, but I like him. I often cry because Feroz's words are really painful, but as you well know, I do not stop loving, do not stop longing for warm greetings before I fall asleep.
"You may hate me, say the most painful thing for me, but you must know, it will not fade away what I am tired of having." Feroz's flat voice was enough to make me jerk, "I will return to Indonesia in 6 years, when my study is finished" Feroz said with the same position, stiff but accompanied by him drank a cup of coffee. "6 years is not a fast time," I replied in a low voice. "then?" he ambushed me, "no!" I immediately answered. I saw him with his right upper lip when I said no, it seemed he did not like my answer. Then we go back to freezing.
45 minutes later, I felt that there was something I could not stand, the feeling of tightness now descended on my chest, whether because I was too tired or too focused my mind that the reality that I was going to face would be so difficult, I would lose.
"When you smile when you hear stories about him and with him, but you care for your tirakat, then you feel excessive tightness when you know you will lose it, then don't let it go"
"The best side of a meeting is not to waste the opportunity"
"How many times do I have to say, life is not merely a matter of love," Feroz said while holding the headset in his ear.
I ran out of my way, I grabbed my bag and hurried away, but Feroz pulled my arm to stop me. "Sit back," Feroz asked
I was quite surprised by Feroz's behavior at that time, wasn't he anti-holding a woman ?. He changed his sitting position.
"Our future is still long, life is not merely a matter of love, you are beautiful, you are good, where are there men who will disappoint you later except him" Feroz said
"he? You? "" Yes, I am, "Feroz frowned slightly
"Today, the last day we meet, do we have to fight as usual on our final day?" Feroz is serious. "But you ..." "I don't want" Feroz ambushed
"I already know the answer". "What you think is wrong, is not it", Feroz argued "then?", "Somehow" Feroz answered.
I sighed again, Feroz was always like that, he was not straightforward to answer what I asked, either because he was speechless or indeed he was lazy to convey.
"A cold figure like you, always makes me warm but shivering"
"If you're not the one, why am I so glad today?" the chant of David's romance song was beautiful when we felt that moment.
"Something that changes will always be missed and meetings are a meeting point for him".
We are frozen in line with the song being sung, the lyrics and the time delivered as if to be a very strong representative.
"What a pity, you like a bitch!" loser words that often lie in my brain,
"Today, the last I can meet you, often urface, seing your cold face, hear your cold voice, an everything that you have". Feroz glanced at his watch, I took my cellphone, maybe this is the end. "In 10 minutes I must go, I must take a visa" Feroz straightforward
"Roz ..." I said his name in a soft voice, "yes ..." Feroz replied
"Don't leave," I said softly. Instantly feroz stopped his footsteps, he paused for a moment without turning back towards me. But at that moment Feroz stepped back and the tears that had been holding me down had been falling.
I frozen alone, the atmosphere of the cafe was so quiet at once, I just experienced the person I truly loved went in front of my eyes without ever being able to prevent it. My cellphone rang, apparently a message from Feroz - "take good care of yourself, bye" -. the tears that are held are increasingly unstoppable. I moved fast like lightning heading out of the cafe and paced for taxis.
"If your happiness slowly comes loose, chase it, tie it back with a strong knot, but if you can't, just say the sweetest sentence, so he knows how much he means."
"I have to meet him, for the last time" thoughts like that continue to land in my mind. When I arrived at the airport, I looked for the Europe departure terminal and after I found it I saw Feroz entering the departure terminal, my time was up.
"Regret indeed always comes at the end, at that time your happiness is gone, you are suffocated by your own mind, the tightness that is felt to be of no use, all you have to do is let it go" -
"Sie sind die Menschen, die ich liebe, nachdem Gott und meinen Eltern, aber man weiß nie, was ich fühle Takan in diesem Moment sind wir mehr als Freunde, ihr hochmütigen Haltung nie löschen, was ich damals fühte, Takan in diesem Moment sind wir mehr als Freunde, ihr hochmütigen Haltung nie löschen, was ich damals fühlte, die gute eucuch, e guch dort, hoffentlich wir uns wiedersehen, ich liebe dich. "