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Did you see Miss piggy today?"
"Her mother should have swallowed her!"
My heart sagged as i listened from one of the stalls, my knees drawn up to my chest and my tears wetting my hair.
I listened to them cackle, listened to them make witty remarks and compare me with hideous cartoon icons. I shuddered, as more tears ebbed from my heart like a fountain, flooding me, drowning me, feeling myself sink into despair, accepting what they said i was. Waste of space. A caricature of Ugliness itself.
I remembered telling my mum what they said and her usual response that was supposed to give me some sort of comfort.
"Nonsense, baby! You still have your baby fat, you will grow into your feminine form soon!"
That was years ago, I turned sixteen and was still a blob of matter that everyone made fun of
My doctors said i had a disorder and my excessive eating gave me comfort. They had said i would shed the weight and ditch the habit as soon as i reached puberty...But i didn't.
I had no friends. My shadow was my own company and "Miss piggy" had become my second name. I tried to do sports, to shed the weight but every time i would start jogging on the tracts, the taunts from mockers in the stands would assail, breaking my resolve, forcing me to accept how hopeless my condition was and how undesired i would always be...
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photocredit: 123RF.com
I remember standing in front of the mirror, staring at mass, staring at the countless folds and sagging tissue, complemented with my stunt height. I did not have the womanly curves that made male mouths drool or heads swoon. I made lips curl in disgust or mockery and instantly soured the mood whenever i stepped into a room.
My mother's words will echo in my head...
Darling what matters is how beautiful you are on the inside!
I kept telling myself that to keep my faith...but that was till ended up dateless to the prom.
I remember hiding away from the other kids. I spent days locked away in my closet. There was something about the darkness that was comforting. Something about not being seen, being enveloped in the pitch blackness where i could honestly feel safe...
Some days i wished i could run away to the coast and jump off a cliff into the waves below and let my flaw, my weight sink me to the bottom, taking me to the peaceful abyss where no one taunted me. I would be safe, away from sight. Away from all of them.
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I became resigned to my flaws. Accepting that I would never be desirable to any one, that i would always be alone...
Until i met mark, my husband
I had first met him at a shelter where i volunteered. He had been watching me care for people all day before I finally met him on a train. The warm smile he flashed me and the small conversation he started. I had been too self conscious, too aware of my Ugliness to pay him attention, ducking from his sight and trying to put as much space between him and me, scared he was only using me for practice.
But Mark was persistent and patient. When his gaze held mine, he looking at the me on the inside. The lonely girl trapped and resigned to the pain. He talked to me for me and not for my looks. He held my hands genuinely. He spoke softly. He reached into that abyss and pulled me out.
"Why do you bother with me? Aren't you bothered with how i look? You can stop playing games with me!" I screamed at some point during our courtship.
.
His response was...
"I am drawn by the beauty in your heart and how it reflects in yours eyes and warms everything around you."
I fell in love with him.
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photocredit:123rf.com
Mark led me out of that dark tunnel and into the light. He helped me lose weight, spotted me in the gym and took me on hikes. We went on adventures together. He helped become the butterfly i had always wanted to be and in the course of a year we were married
photocredit: Pexels.com
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Author's Note:
Sometimes we are stuck in a phase of life and cannot do anything about it because we don't have the right push or the right person to push us into doing anything about it.
Don't be overwhelmed by the negativity around you. It is only you that can do anything about your situation. You can either accept and love the way you are...Inner beauty matters most!
or you can do something about it despite the negativity.
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This is beautiful. As someone who was bullied throughout elementary school, I could relate to and feel your pain of childhood memories. You write so well.
I am so SO thrilled for you that you found someone who loved you for who you are. <3 Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
I'm glad you loved it @byn though
I'm not the girl in this story, the details are drawn from three other girl's experiences.
Ah... well then you did an even better job of tying it all together and making a very real story!
This is awesome.
Thanks dear
Nice story! So touching. And so many other persons suffer form this same sense of inadequacy, waiting for who will help them out of the abyss. Thanks
Exactly! I'm glad you understand.
.👏👏
curtesies
So captivating
thanks dear
This is a very beautiful story, outward appearance is not important it can be modified whenever.
Inward beauty supersedes it all
Always. Thanks for reading through
@originalworks
Dont let what people say define you! Nice story and great moral lesson! Well done @rachelrick
thanks dear. Thanks you for reading through
This is beautiful Ray. I love it..
Beautiful piece @rachelrick u have a way of getting into your readers head ..thats beautiful
I'm glad i got into yours. Lol. Thanks
Such a beautiful story <3
And so sad to hear about your childhood experiences, people can really be so mean... Happy for you that you found this amazing man, I wish you all the best!
It is fiction based on testimonials
I'm glad you were touched.
Thanks for reading through
Then it's even more great written:) Nice work!
Your story tells me there is hope even when all hope seems to be lost. Thank you for this @rachelrick.
Yes, there always is.
Thanks for reading through
Realy weldone! And great post from you.
From your authors note..
Sometimes we just have to push ourselves forward without aid so we can discover our true purpose cause most times, they're hidden in the challenges we face.
Love your diction and story form.. You made it quite short and ran a reasonable amount of suspense through to fill the gap. Nice tactics. Keep it up
Thanks dear
You're welcome ma'am.
You're welcome ma'am.
Boss
Beautiful but captivating stories such as this can make your thoughts for a moment... sending it to an imagination. A product of a Creative mind. Kudos to you.
Thanks dear. I'm glad you were touched
Wow...this is beautiful, I must commend you. The suspense, your choice of words, the title and the moral lesson (author's note) were well presented and it showed the effort you put into the write-up. Weldone @rachelrick
Thank you for reading through. I'm glad you were touched
@rachelrick
has been that friend I am always proud of. She is that emotional writer that can glued her readers with her dexterity of creativity and style of writing. I love the way she writes and she is good at this. Your flow and story movement kept me till the end. Nicely written
Thanks dear. You are also a wonderful poet! I'm honoured with your friendship!
This is a wonderful story! Very positive and motivational! 😊
Definitely worth a 100% upvote!
#steemitbloggers
Thanks you! I'm glad you appreciate it and Thank you for reading through!
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WoW my friend this is an excellent story.
excellent change and happiness. you are so lucky to find the right person.
I hope this beautiful life will always be your support.
I'm glad you were moved and Thanks for reading through to the end, however. This is not me in the story, it is drawn from Three other girl's experiences
People, especially children, can be so cruel! Beauty will always shine through and ugliness on the inside is soon obvious to anyone who spends the time with these people. A beautiful and inspirational story :) #steemsugars
Thanks @beautifulbullies for reading through. I'm glad you were touched and yes, what matters most is the beauty on the inside
A great moral to end the story on @rachelrick. I really liked the way you expressed the main characters loneliness and emotions in this story. Nice!
Thanks so much Raj!
wow, love the story
Thanks dear
uwc
Why do we do these things to ourselves? We tell ourselves they are right. The ones who are just as afraid as we are. The ugliness on the inside will always push its way to the outside. And yes, I believe you can see it in people's eyes.
Thanks for such a touching story.
You're Welcome, and yes everyone has their flaw, deep down scared as any one else! Thanks for reading through!
We get told this all the time, don't we. Sometimes it sounds so cliche, but glad to read your story where the main character met someone who actually also meant it.
Whilst it is so important that we value ourselves, it isn't always easy in a world obsessed with body image. Thank you for sharing this tale. Sometimes it's nice to have a happy ending.
Thank you for reading through and yes, we're always told that but people never really mean it
Awesome
I love your message here! Sorry that you had to go through all those bad times but the truth is it makes you love and appreciate your life now so much more. If you never had those issues you would probably never met mark, your soul mate. So for all the torture and pain, it was worth it! The universe works in weird ways.. I had never had weight issues but I think we all have our flaws that we are embarrassed of and have to work through in life. I am so happy that you have found the one that made you realize you are beautiful and loved, that is the greatest gift in life.
here is to many more great years.
Thank you for your comment! @moderndayhippie I feel a lot of what you have said will go a long way to encouraging plus sized women. However this story is drawn from three real life experiences and not mine
This is wonderful, an amazing motivational story... Thanks for sharing it gives hope to everyone!