Part 1: Quarantine
Part 2: Odd Jobs
Part 3: Shuck
Part 4: The Old North
Part 5: Dirty Dave
Part 6: Multipliers
Part 7: Kilogold
Part 8: Analysis
Part 9: Reversal
Victor hugged his confused wife tightly, tears streaming down his face. “Oh, my god… I was so scared… Janet, I…”
His wife pushed him to an arm’s length, shaken at the turn of events but more disturbed at Victor’s sudden outburst of emotion. “Victor, what are you talking about? What happened? Who were those men?”
Victor ignored her protests and pulled her in for another hug. “It doesn’t matter! None of it! All that matters is that you are safe!”
Shuck coughed, and Victor finally released his increasingly frustrated wife to listen to him speak. “Well, Victor… this is all very touching, but I should probably be going.”
Victor walked over and shook his hand, still sniffling while he attempted to compose himself. “Very well, partner in crime… I can’t thank you enough for what you have done. Though, now that I think about it…”
Victor turned to Miss Meta, who was standing next to the man she had helped shuttle through time. “I suppose you are also someone I should be thanking, and I don’t even know who you are. Why did you do it? It couldn’t have been easy to get that close to the time quarantine just to be helpful. Maybe you correctly assumed that, after the fact, I would be more than happy to pay you…”
Shuck cut in before Miss Meta could answer. “Well, she is family, isn’t she? Does it not make sense that she would want to help a fellow Meta out?”
Victor responded as Miss Meta continued to try to get a word in. “Well, that’s possible… but most Meta don’t do such things. We are all extended family, but we simply can’t spend all our time helping each other out of danger. That would encourage too many of us to become dependent on the more capable among us.”
Shuck continued as Miss Meta grew angry. “Yeah, but there is a self-interest associated with helping out not just ancestors, but predecessors as well! Seems to me that-”
Miss Meta had enough, shouting over both of them. “ENOUGH! LET ME SPEAK!”
Both stopped, looking at Miss Meta. Silence reigned for several seconds, until Victor spoke again. “Uh… well? We’re waiting.”
Miss Meta was again flustered, having trouble finding her words again as Victor’s wife, Janet, suddenly saw something a short distance away. “OH MY GOD. That’s Mira! And she’s standing at the edge of the bridge!”
Everyone looked just in time to see the young Mira fall over the side.
While most of the group leisurely strolled over, Janet ran at a sprint, only to stare in confusion as Mira poked her head back over, laughing. Victor explained what everyone except Janet had known. “These bridges have a centralized gravity field… unless you can actually manipulate gravity, they are impossible to fall off of. People actually walk on both the top and bottom of the bridge during peak traffic.”
Janet slapped Victor on the arm. “You should have told me that sooner! But anyway, Mira can’t be allowed to just… run around here! It’s too dangerous!”
Victor laughed. “Yes, we can’t just let her run around, but not because it’s dangerous. She would probably annoy the other Metas, and we would end up having to pay a fine. But this… this whole city… runs across the whole planet, and is the single safest place in history. This is Pause. ”
Janet looked around. “So… this is where all time travelers live?”
Victor laughed. “No, of course not! Only some do, and usually only when they work here full time. I wanted to live with you in your own time, as is customary for most Meta. We will be staying here for a little while, just until I know it’s safe to return to our home.”
Janet looked Victor in the eyes, concern slowly welling up. “What do you mean… safe to return? What’s going on?”
Shuck answered for Victor, as he walked around giving an excited Mira a piggyback ride. “Well, I’m no authority on the subject, but… the way I see it, Meta estates are likely well hidden. Y‘know, in terms of local registration with officials and such. Finding one to ambush is not a trivial operation, nor is it easy to find the anti-time travel technology we know they actively use. This was very deliberate and calculated, and if you just went back home… they would wait till the most opportune to simply strike again, most likely.”
Victor eyed Shuck suspiciously. “For someone who isn’t an expert… you certainly sound like an expert.”
Shuck, growing a bit annoyed at the child’s rambunctiousness, handed Mira over to Victor. “Heh… is that so? Well, perhaps I’m just good at guessing.”
Victor sighed. “Sure. Oh, but that’s right… Miss Meta? What exactly did you want to tell us? Something related to why you helped us out of that predicament?”
Miss Meta froze. “Oh, uh… yeah. It’s…”
Victor grew impatient, tapping his foot with his arms crossed. “It’s been a long day, I want nothing more than to just spend some time with my family. Please, just tell me what you need to tell me, and all of us can be on our way.”
Shuck agreed. “Yes, out with it already! The fact you are taking so long has managed to actually make me curious on what it could possibly be! We already know you are a Meta, so what other big twist could there be?”
Miss Meta stood very self consciously under the attentive stares of the group. Finally, she managed to work up the courage to remove her glasses, which incidentally were not only hiding her eyes, but also altering the light around her hair. The purple hair changed to a dirty blond, and her eyes were revealed as hazel. Everyone looked at the newly revealed persona, and glanced at the young Mira. They had the same eye and hair color. Miss Meta smiled shyly. “It’s good to see you again, Victor… or, should I say, Father.”
Victor was shocked, while Shuck was baffled. “But… she’s… we went back to save… but she… was the one… HOW?!?”
Adult Mira explained, as she paradoxically picked up a completely oblivious child Mira. “You see… though it’s generally discouraged, a Meta is perfectly capable of interacting with their own past. If they couldn’t, at least in a roundabout way, then Meta would be completely handicapped in their ability to travel through time. I happened to recognize my father while going about my business, and I decided to help him when I found out he was trying to save my mother. I had no recollection of these past events… I was too young. I’ll admit, it was surreal to save my mother as well as meet my father again after seeing him die, but I-”
Shuck broke in. “WHOA! You… saw your father… Victor, here… die?”
Mira smiled grimly. “Well, yes… all Meta see one of their parents die before they receive their pocketwatch. Didn’t you know? You know so many other things about us.”
“I don’t care if you believe me, but I’ll repeat myself; I speculate. I make guesses and deductions with the knowledge I have. But this I certainly did not know… please continue. How does a Meta get their pocketwatch?”
Victor cut in. “Miss… I mean, Mira! Don’t share any more information with Shuck! He’s untrustworthy!”
“But-”
“NO BUTS! I don’t know how you managed to track down an immediate parent like this, but I don’t care. It would be best if you go.”
Mira crossed her arm, defiantly. “All of you are just so rude… you can’t just let me finish my speech, can you? There is more going on here. This isn’t the end of my involvement, it’s the beginning. I have information about the conspiracy!”
Everyone was now very interested, except for the young version of Mira who was still enjoying messing around with the bridge gravity by hopping back and forth. Shuck asked the question everyone had in mind. “What conspiracy?”
“Why, the conspiracy to destroy every last Meta, of course!”
Thanks for reading! If you are enjoying the story, you might also enjoy some of my other published work on Amazon! It’s set in the same fictional universe, but follows different characters.
Gatekeepers, Book One: Unquestionable Truth
Gatekeepers, Book Two: Order of Gravitas
Same post on Minds
(Now I must immediately preface this that I come from a lingual tradition that’s more associated with Eastern European and of the Global Periphery (Non-Western) than Western Works of literature. Albeit I have a double preface that I stopped reading Western works beyond 1980s with rare few occasions (thus meaning I know my damn Beowulf along with my Knights of the Round Table along to my GWF Hegel and Langston Hughes). But this should be enough prefacing and making sense of what I shall get into when I type my response below.)
So let’s start with the story and keep in my mind that I have jumped into part ten without reading the parts before. So I inderstand enough and like the conflict of philosophies (and attitudes that imply a deeper sense of urgencies) all along the entry here. From the spouse relationship, to the Meta just waiting for humans to just shut up to then herself(?) having not the words to speak (very much a Freudian slip of the Tongue here of wanting something but not knowing how to respond to achieving something) to the random inclusion of the child flying off. No biggie, we got an example of world building interwoven with the progress of the story. (Now I know not if everyone’s on the same page, but following the grandfather clause I purposefully employ here, I shall believe what they know up to this point due to finally possessing it or in the process to do so.) Of course, I dunno how often the conspiracy was stressed before this point, but I did get the feeling of urgency and accept the eventual reveal of why the Meta even interacted with these two to begin with.
Unto the structure of the story: very much dialogue-bounded, good way to avoid the show and don’t tell rule. Though I would love my levels of telling on occasions, just so the reader can relax (but dunno if you’ve done it before this point). Withal (Even so), the dialouge seems appropriate but can’t be sure to be quite honest. Moving on, this definitely, despite a move inside the story and a set-down narrative builder episode, felt like a convenient world-building episode. Yet I shan’t remark because it might be justified at this point and may make sense to build the World now so as to repaint earlier scenes and give options for the writer to exploit as they tell the story. Regardless, since (as I say this like a broken record) I haven’t read before I shall accept the underlying World-building stratum and it does feel appropriate with how it’s being developed (and thankfully not used as a tool to tell a story this earlier on). To make a side derail on the characters, I get that the Meta aspect but I do wonder if the story is focused on Mira/Meta or the humans; while I might not mind as long as the humans do get to be coupled with the Metas, I feel this story is appropriate for the Metas to see these two humans and lement having to deal with children of species. Especially when they have to deal witn a darned conspiracy that sounds like an extinction-level event.
Thanks for the feedback! This indeed was a bit more of a world-building episode, as the previous chapter was rather action focused. You have some interesting ideas on what the Meta actually are, so I will go through a quick explainer.
In this fictional world, Meta is mainly just a last name, but for a specific family. All Metas can use something called infinity casting, an ability that they pass down through the generations... hence, why all Metas can use it. There other types of infinity casting that work much differently and have nothing to do with time travel, and the second part("casting") is a reference to the larger and more common system of casting that Metas also use, but this is a working knowledge for our purposes within the story.
While there are non-human races in this world, the Metas are largely human(I actually hadn't thought much about including non-human Metas, due to some undisclosed restrictions I had in my notes... I'll keep that in mind as an idea, though. Sounds like it could be interesting). Mira is the daughter of Victor and Janet Meta, so she is a full fledged Meta by birthright. Because all Metas are descended from other Meta, they pretty much universally marry non-Metas, so there is nothing really unusual about this.
I do indeed try to be very dialogue and character interaction focused in my stories. I don't particularly like lengthy descriptions of things awkwardly crammed into place, and when they are unavoidable I will have them either exist as a character's train of thought, or by having a knowledgeable character explain them to an uninformed character.
I had someone previously suggest a summary be added to each new chapter, so people can pick up at the most recent chapter and have a decent idea of what is going on. Since you are not the first to be generally confused by certain aspects, and don't have the time to go back and read the increasing number of previous parts, I will try to start including a running summary on each new chapter. Even if I have to be extremely general on various plot points and I would definitely recommend reading the whole series from the start, it seems like it will benefit a growing number of people.
But again, thank you so much for the feedback. I love getting lengthier comments like this, as I feel they provide so much more insight into how other people view my writing. Have a fantastic day!
Now do I say welcome for the comment since you wrote that yourself and deserve a mini curie on this comment! ~^^~
Anywho, thanks for this lengthy response (probably the first I've seen in the rabbit hole of curated content) as it pretty much repaints what I see in the text now. (I probably should mention I wrote that drunk and have sobered up at this point, even still I understood it and understand it way better now. Oh the grand folly of the internet and Steemit not giving incentives to read serialized content...)
Anyhow, have a great day/night/evening/afternoon/noon now!~
Hi rhethypo,
Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.
Nice story👍👏How long will it go?
Posted using Partiko iOS
My current outline has about thirty chapters, though the exact number can change as I finish writing the actual chapters.
😮wooow. 👍👏 Good luck. Keep it easy😊😁
Posted using Partiko iOS