Trapped in your mind

in #fiction7 years ago

Picture

Dark. Why is it so dark? I can’t see anything. Why can’t I see anything?

What is this constant beeping? It’s driving me crazy. It’s the only sound. Wait, no, it’s not. What is that? Is that the sound of me breathing? It sounds weird. And I think I can also hear the sound of machines running.

Why can’t I see?

The beeping is very regular. Almost like … a heartbeat? My heartbeat? That means I’m in a hospital! What am I doing in a hospital? What happened? How did I get here?

I remember having coffee with Anne … and then nothing. Did something happen? Something must have happened. Am I dead?

No, the beeping is still there so my heart must be working. I … are those footsteps? Those are footsteps! Someone is coming!

”I’m sorry, Mrs. Jones, your husband is in a coma. There is still hope, he’s not brain dead yet, but we don’t know if it will stay like that. The stroke was located in the brainstem and things could take an ugly turn very soon. He might even have a second stroke.”

Mrs. Jones? Anne was here! And the man speaking had to be the doctor. But … the doctor was talking about Anne’s husband. That’s me! I had a stroke? In the brain stem?! Oh dear lord, that is not good.

”How big are the chances that he’ll regain consciousness?”

”It doesn’t look good. Did your husband leave some kind of will that details what’s supposed to happen if a brain death occurs? Is he an organ donor?”

Organ donor? Of course I’m an organ donor! Anne knows that. But ... I am conscious! I can hear everything! They can’t take my organs now, I’d feel all of that! Oh my god, I need to signal them that I am still alive. They need to know I am still here! I need to signal them somehow …

Oh, I understand why I can’t see anything, my eyes must be closed. Maybe if I open them, they’ll realize something is wrong. I just need … to … open … my … eyes!

”Doctor! Did you see that? His eyelids just moved a bit!”

”Did they?”

The sound of footsteps indicates that the doctor is coming closer. I can feel his warm breath on my face as he bends over me. It smells like tuna.

Suddenly, a blinding light cuts through the darkness and makes me want to scream, but no sound escapes my throat. The doctor pulled up one of my eyelids and is now shining a light right into my eye. After the long darkness, this is really painful!

”Pupil reaction is normal. Let’s see what happens if I move the light a bit.”

As the doctor starts moving the light, I follow it.

”Incredible, we’re having a reaction! It seems like your husband isn’t unconscious after all. He might suffer from what we call locked-in syndrome.”

That doesn’t sound that much better if I have to be honest.

”You mean he’s conscious but can’t move at all?”

Anne had always known more about this medical stuff than me.

”Exactly. It tends to follow a brain stem stroke and leads to a complete paralysis of the cranial nerves. Usually, the patient can only move their eyes or blink. But that gives us at least the chance to communicate.”

I’ve managed to open the second eye by myself and can now look my wife directly in the face. She looks tired and it’s obvious that she cried a lot. Her eyes are red and her face looks slightly puffy. I want to hug her and tell her that it’s going to be okay, but all I can do is move my eyes from one side to the other.

Anne sits down on my bed and lightly puts her hand on my face.

”Honey, can you hear me?”

I blink once. Immediately, her face lightens up and she gives first me then the doctor a huge smile.

”He’s communicating!”

I love you, darling, but I’d hardly call that communicating. Then again, if it keeps you from harvesting my organs, I’m okay with this.

She gives me a kiss on the forehead.

”It’ll be alright, honey. We can fix this.”

I’m really not sure about this, but hey, hope dies last, right? Although it still dies.


Thank you @interceptor for suggesting the topic of today’s story!


Sources:

Locked-in syndrome

A European survey on attitudes towards pain and end-of-life issues in locked-in syndrome

Beyond the gaze: Communicating in chronic locked-in syndrome

Quality of life in patients with locked-in syndrome: Evolution over a 6-year period


Got a scientific topic which you want to see as a story? Leave me a comment!
Check out @steemstem and the #steemSTEM channel in steemit.chat and consider following the curation trail on Streemian to support scientists on steemit!
Picture taken from pixabay.com

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ive made steemit sort of oasis where i can shut off for a moment, and try to think about something else than hospitals. and then i summoned one of the best writers here to write about it..:) and you did it like you been there, which is bit creepy accurate, but i didnt expect anything less.
I am dealing with it for last 5 months, after my father survived brain stem aneurysm and has his skull filled with blood. First time we communicated with blinking after month or so after docs told us he is just a plant, erased. Now he is out of it (yes you read that right), can even talk a bit, but with tone of other problems, mosltly because of poor conditions and neglecting by the ego maniacal doctors but thats other story which i will write about some day, and it will prolly be pure horror.
thanks for the links too, you re really badass researcher.

Thanks again for suggesting the topic and now for your feedback :)

I'm glad your father got out of it and I hope I didn't summon too many bad feelings with my story.

You are welcome :) no bad feelings at all, things are going to better slowly. Looking forward for your future stories. this is real Sci - fi, not the Star Wars or such ;)

I hope he recovers soon, otherwise, next time we will be hearing from his thought might be:

I am not going to recover this time, looks like my time is up, maybe while my organs and tissue are still working fine, i should donate them to help someone, I heard that wife came by the next bed everything praying for a healthy kidney for his husband....maybe my cornea could help that guy next room too....

long term illness is really mentally devastating to the patients and their families

(congratz to your 600 followers ; ])

I'm trying to drag some of my posts away from the depressing darkness some of the previous ones fell into, first considered letting this guy go through organ harvesting at full consciousness :X

sounds like a cult movie topic to me lol

Very interesting, I could really feel it myself - thanks for sharing! Upvoted and resteemed!

To be honest, I started to feel a bit bad when thinking how this would feel like. I'd imagine it'd be really terrifying and the worst part is that it actually happens to people.

Scary, scary, scary....
Why has the life have to be filled with such terrifying things?

Very good storyline, stroke is one of the deadly diseases, but lucky for Mrs. Jones husband, she can fight the disease with a calm and patient. A classy story, congratulations on its author.

nice image

mice image

(pixabay.com)

Hey man! Thanks for helping set up the new node. I just voted for you as a witness. Keep up the good work :]

If something like that happened to me I would want someone to put me out my misery and donate my body for medical studies. I am recording this on the blockchain to avoid misunderstandings.

It's usually a good idea to write up a legal document signed by your doctor that states your wishes in cases like these. Takes the decision out of the hands of your loved ones and family.

Yes very interesting @suesa
I understand from your picture, and I have read your story.
I can say the key to the problem is because of a sudden high heart rate. A person's heartbeat can occur suddenly because there are several factors, such as shock, and can also because of seeing something that has never been seen.
That is why, a person can cause a stroke. If that had happened, then the disaster for that person, because the stroke is a dangerous and deadly disease.
Thank you @suesa: good post.

@suesa stroke disease is very dangerous
Before it happens we have to prevent it, because the stroke can take a life (die).
There are many factors in the occurrence of stroke, one of which is excessive thinking.
Strokes can occur without a siduga and can happen anytime.
Thank you for sharing and good story.

@suesa is amazing
You are a scientist, plus you are a graduate of science (natural science).
I have several pairs of your post and pointed to it.
But not what I mean. Before going up the stroke there must be a cause.
I have studied in science as well. The cause of the stroke is due to narrowing of blood vessels leading to the brain so that the blood and oxygen intake to the brain decreases.
Thus the various occurrences of biochemical reactions that make brain blood cells to die.
Is that right @suesa, thanks a great job.

This is a science fiction story. I am very touching reading your story @suesa, this story gives us a lesson and knowledge about the disease strot that he experienced by the husband mistress jones.

Good postings, this is a very serious problem and if the doctor is wrong to act then the patient will be bad. Her awareness hitherto has not been fully recovered. His condition is now still vegetative: it is quite open but has not been able to speak and still difficult to move his body. He can only growl; A violent collision in the head there is a slowdown of orders in his brain, I think with good care I am sure he will recover. I hope this story goes on because I want to make sure the patient is able to embrace his very faithful wife. Thank you for sharing this story and thank you also for choosing this post is best for you.

Interesting discussion, are you a scientist? You are very good at making posts, want me to follow your footsteps. It is very difficult to understand about this, which I know in this discussion that the husband of Mrs. Jones suffered a very severe stroke, but she was able to pass it. @s

I'm a biology student so basically a future scientist :)

Thank you for sharing this very wise and inspiring story. I was very touched to read it because it concerns the life of a sick person, as if the person was before my eyes, sad when reading it. Did not feel my tears hatching my cheeks.
Thanks for those of you who have shared @suesa I will wait for your next posting.

Hi @suesa, thanks for sharing this article.
In this story, I can deduce some of the scientific lessons I received. This is the story of a husband of mistress jones is suffering from stroke, but she is not in a coma, she has a high drop penyekit that make her mind and limbs go through, even he difficult to open both eyelids. I am very happy with this science fiction story. Thank you for making this great story for us.

This is an interesting story but a bit restless. And I hope there is continuation for future posting. A condition that occurs when blood supply to the brain is cut off due to blockage or rupture of blood vessels, and in the fear of death of cells in some areas of the brain. Stroke is a serious health condition that requires rapid treatment. Hopefully doctors can deal with it better

This story is very interesting to read, a scientific explanation that you rakum very useful, the story of a man lying in the hospital has opened our eyes to always live healthy, the disease can come at any time, it's just we must be wary of early, This is a real story happening in our life. This is a disease we are so afraid of.

nice post

wow! that was really well written from beginning to end. We need the whales to vote posts like this if we want Steem to skyrocket, but it seems the whales have abandoned us... ):

Thanks for your positive feedback! I'm usually doing pretty well concerning payouts. And in the end, comments like yours have a lot more worth than a huge payout, at least for me.

Wow such a good visual from this story. So frightening!

Very good storyline. I absolutely love it.

Why is it so dark? I can’t see anything. Why can’t I see anything?

Because no light, when Light is not transmitted we cant see anything,

It's really well written! I can really feel into it... It's sad when a person wants to communicate, but it just doesn't work! When you're stuck and just can't do whatever you want to do! I hope that he's gonna recover and that there's gonna be a second part with hopefully a happy end!

Eek, this is an absolutely terrifying thought. Can't think of much worse. Least it didn't go the organ harvesting route! Great read as always.

I originally considered it but I don't want to discourage people from being donors

Hmm

Good story, and so very true he seems desperate to hold onto his organs so I'm sure he won't give up that easily, I wonder how the story will progress secretly I'm hoping it works in a way that is a happy ending however I feel it should go into a more realistic point.
Please read my post.
https://steemit.com/introduceurself/@moonprincess/hi-im-safiya-firstpost

Hallo @suesa, this is really sad about the illness suffered by nyonya jones, this story is very good for scientific lessons, all forms of disease there is a cure, but we should be aware of this disease. This is a disease that paralyzes all members of our bodies, sometimes even attacking the nerves of our mind, this is a kind of coma, but it can not be said coma, because the sufferer is always aware of the conversation between doctor and his wife mistress jones. Thank you for sharing this fictional story of science fiction @suesa

”It doesn’t look good. Did your husband leave some kind of will that details what’s supposed to happen if a brain death occurs? Is he an organ donor?”

Sort of gives me seconds thoughts about being an organ donor. The ethics aren't really too comforting. If there is any doubt whatsoever it seems abusrd that you would start talking about organ donation in front of the patient.

The reports of QoL seem a bit high. I can't imagine I'd ever adjust to only being able to blink to interface with the outside world.

Excellent article, It gives to think.
I hope he recovers soon.

Great. Story really made me feel like I was in the room itself. Crazy how that is. @interceptor, hope dies last right?

I wish you all but the best.