Thanks @kiligirl. This one was tough and I'm really not sure I did justice to Risa's voices, but I'm hoping to explore that a bit more in later chapters.
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Thanks @kiligirl. This one was tough and I'm really not sure I did justice to Risa's voices, but I'm hoping to explore that a bit more in later chapters.
You left the reader alert - it wasn't immediately clear that her cold feeling came from hearing the voice in her head, and I liked that. Better not to spoon feed and rather reveal. Also, we've only just meet Risa's voices. We don't know who they are yet; you've given us some breadcrumbs (her grandfather, if I remember correctly?), but we know we need to read more to understand these and who else they might be. And is it some supernatural phenomenon - after all, this is fantasy, not a neuropsychiatric piece? What has her previous experience been with these choices - do her people trust her because they know the voices will warn her of impending danger? And how does it affect her physically (you've given us hints...)? This chapter have is am intrigued to the voices. We assume you'll expose the voices over upcoming chapters 😊