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Undisclosed Hammer Facility
48 Hours Prior to Friday Night Clash
Jeremiah Vastrix stood in the waiting room with Kara Reinhardt and Kronin’s wife Lilly who was patiently awaiting news from the cybernetic expert and spinal surgeon Dr. Virgil Shultz. Dr. Shultz and a team of Hammer industries scientists were the group conducting the experimental procedure Kronin was undergoing to repair his injured spine. Jeremiah couldn’t help, but feel bad about how anxious and nervous Kronin’s loved ones were about Kronin joining the cyborg community. A community now consisting of more than just Jeremiah himself. Reinhardt was going to become the world second living cyborg and Jeremiah wasn’t sure exactly how he felt about that.
Jeremiah: Honestly you two, please try to relax, Dr. Shultz is the best in his field of expertise. He’s the one who did my eye’s after the whole Death Sport fiasco. If it wasn’t for him I’d be blind as a bat right now.
Kara: Well that’s comforting to know. Did he also do the rest of your cybernetic procedures?
Jeremiah: A fair amount. There is no one else alive right now that I’d trust more to do work on me or anyone else I care about. Kronin is a good man and if it wasn’t for his help we’d probably never have gotten out of North Korea alive. Hell, we’d probably be all living a nuclear holocaust right now…
Lilly: When you were all over there… I thought I’d never see him again. Then you made it home and I thought things would be okay… then this happened… It’s like we're all cursed or something.
Kara tried to console her somber sister-in-law who had begun tearing up as she spoke to Jeremiah. It had been over six hours since the operation had started and there had been no word from the doctors or scientists since they’d started the operation. Suddenly the OR door slid open and out walked Dr. Shultz in his scrubs and a surgical mask. After scrubbing down he walked out past the scrub line and into the waiting room where he was quickly surrounded by the three frantic individuals.
Dr. Shultz: Kronin is now resting and recovering from the procedure. We won’t know right away, but all indicators are pointing the cybernetic implant and integration was a success. We’re hoping once the swelling goes down that we may see some signs of movement in his lower extremities. If this is the case then more than likely Kronin will walk again and live out the rest of his life like would have before, hell perhaps even better as he ages because the implant is strong then the natural human spine.
Lilly: Oh Dr. Shultz thank you so much! Thank you! I don’t know how will ever be able to repay you!
Dr. Shultz: Don’t thank me yet young lady. Your husband has a long road of recovery ahead of him. However, if the surgery is successful then he will theoretically make a full recovery. The miracle of modern science right Jeremiah?
Jeremiah: We live in incredible times…
Kara shook Dr. Shultz’s hand and then gave Jeremiah an uncharacteristic hug. Much like Kronin, Kara wasn’t one to show tons of emotion. However, even she’d been moved to tears from the good news concerning her twin brother. Their mission from the German government had been put on hiatus and their visa for staying in the United States had run its course. Thankfully Jeremiah had been able to fly them into Mexico so that Kronin could undergo the procedure and do his rehabilitation without having to be forced to fly back to Germany by the U.S. government.
Kara: When will we be able to see him?
Dr. Shultz: Soon, my assistant will let you know when he’s awake. He’s still asleep from the anesthetic currently. It’s good to know that Kronin has a strong support structure. Jeremiah here had to do all of his rehab and life adjustments on his own after the first injury right Jeremiah?
Jeremiah: I’d rather not talk about my past or my father for that matter Dr. Shultz. He’s right though with you and Lilly I’m sure Kronin will be back on his feet in no time...
Strangle Hold by Ted Nugent began to play inside the Estadio Azteca stadium located in the massive metropolis of Mexico City. The live feed of an enormous capacity crowd of 87,523 people on their feet waving their Valora Salinas signs around and flashing their Valora apparel came into full view as the cameraman panned around the pay per view sized crowd. After the pyrotechnic show ignited and then dissipated the live feed cut to the announcer team of Chris Rodgers and Scott Slade.
Scott Slade: Hello wrestling fans and welcome to Friday Night Clash 14! I’m your host Scott Slade here tonight with my partner in crime Chris Rodgers!
Chris Rodgers: Scott, I’d like to take a second and let our Kronin Reinhardt fans know that the big German is currently undergoing a series of experimental spinal surgeries and we wish him and his family all the best of luck in his recovery.
Scott Slade: It’s going to be a long tough road, but Kronin Is optimistic that this surgery may get him on his feet again and one day possibly back in the ring.
Chris Rodgers: God willing Scotty… God willing…
Scott Slade: Well we’ve got an incredible card lined up for all of you tonight! Jeremiah Vastrix takes on Boris Drago in an exhibition match, the Tag Team Titles are on the line as well as Evolution and his partner Metamorphous defend them against the new team of LuLu Biggs and the Franchise Champion Huckleberry!
Chris Rodgers: That’s nothing compared to the main event though Scotty, which is why all these Mexican fans are really here tonight! Valora Salinas gets a rematch against Takuma Sato for the Submission Specialist Championship title belt!
Scott Slade: That’s right Chris. Valora gave up the belt to Sato not even a month ago and tonight she’s got a chance to snatch it back if she can beat the martial arts expert.
Chris Rodgers: She’s been on a bit of a hard-luck streak of late and many feel Valora Salinas may be past her prime. Personally, I couldn’t agree more!
Scott Slade: That’s the narrative you and M.O.X Sports have been running with for months now. If there is one thing we’ve learned about Valora, it’s to never count that woman out Chris. Anyway, I’m getting word from our producer that the first match is set to start so without any more chit chat lets head down to ringside where Rose Johnston is standing in the ring ready to announce our first competitors!
The cameras cut away from Chris and Scott at the announcer table to Rose Johnston standing in the ring with the spotlight draped over her. The slender blond ring announcer was dressed in a beautiful light baby blue dress and silver high heel shoes and as always had caught most of the straight male attention in the arena. As always, Rose had her diamond bedazzled microphone that was given to her personally by her boss Rupert Mudcock in her right hand. As she raised it to her glossed lips she began to speak to the Mexican audience in their native Spanish this time per the request of Mr. Mudcock.
Rose Johnston: ¡Este partido está programado para una caída y todas las reglas estarán vigentes!
The camera cut away from Rose and focused in on the entrance stage as “Down Low” by R. Kelly began to play on the stadium's speaker system. Jeremiah walked out onto the stage with his sexy fiancé, Hollywood actress Olivia Cooke, who was wearing a gorgeous Vera Wang dress and designer Jimmy Choo shoes. The Mexican fans greeted them with distaste and boo’s which frustrated Jeremiah to no end and made Olivia feel extremely uncomfortable.
Rose Johnston: ¡Caminando hacia el ring acompañado por Olivia Cook! Proveniente de Hong, Kong! Con un peso de 245 libras y de pie a una altura de seis pies, dos pulgadas. ¡El regalo de Dios para las mujeres de todo el mundo! ¡EL LUCHA DE CYBORG JEREMIAH VASTRIX!
Scott Slade: These fans are still clearly upset with how Jeremiah defeated Valora and Sato last week to win the number 1 contender spot for the Heavyweight Franchise Championship.
Chris Rodgers: The man won the match fair and square within the rules that Ultimate Wrestling put into place. These Mexicans need to get over it! Valora is washed up! A has been! Time to get new wrestling idle!
Scott Slade: I didn’t know to hit someone with steel chairs was considered wrestling…
Chris Rodgers: Scott… I’m going pretend that asinine sentence didn’t just come out of your mouth…
Jeremiah walked down the ring and guided Olivia over to an open seat next to the timekeeper. He then slid into the ring and began to adjust his black leather wrestling gear. The cyborg’s cybernetic eyes glowed brightly as he waited for his opponent to make his way out from behind the curtain to the stage. His music came to a stop and suddenly “Sgori” by Stvore began to play and the fans booing of Jeremiah ceased.
Rose Johnston: Su oponente! ¡Proveniente de Novosibirsk, Rusia! Con un peso de unas increíbles 375 libras y una altura de siete pies y tres pulgadas. BORIS DRAGO !!!
The enormous Russian made his way out onto the stage to a mixed reaction from the Mexican fans in attendance. As always Boris was dressed in a traditional red spandex wrestling singlet and was sporting an Olympic style wrestling head guard. Out from behind the curtain following him slowly was his Russian tag team partner Dasha Ivanova who was busy waving a large Russian flag around in celebration of her homeland.
Chris Rodgers: Well here comes Boris and Natasha, I hope moose and squirrel aren’t here.
Scott Slade: Ahh… that was a lame joke… even for you, gramps.
Chris Rodgers: What do you know? A “woke” Millennial like you wouldn’t know comedy if it came up from behind and bit you on your ass!
Boris entered the ring and was quickly motioned into the center of the squared circle where he and Jeremiah were briefed by referee Bob Sigro on the rules. When Sigro was finished he motioned for the bell which sounded soon after officially starting the wrestling match. Dasha immediately began to bark orders at her massive countrymen from outside of the ring. It was clear she was going to coach the big man through this entire match.
Scott Slade: Here we go! The Russian mammoth versus the cyborg! Only in Ultimate Wrestling are you going to see a fight like this!
The big seven-foot, four-inch Russian charged toward Jeremiah attempting to strike him straight in the face, but the Cyborg read his moves easily and avoided the attack with ease. The quick side step allowed Jeremiah to go on the offense with a nice swift striking kick to Drago’s lower spine. The kick sent the big man into the ropes allowing Jeremiah to grab him with both his arms wrapped around his waist. The cyborg then expertly German suplexed him into the ring mat after tapping his memory for a file on Kronin Reinhardt aka “The German Suplex Machine”.
Chris Rodgers: Oh! Jeremiah Vastrix on point!
Scott Slade: He certainly seems to have his head screwed on right lately! Perhaps he had a firmware upgrade recently?
Chris Rodgers: What the hell do I know about technology? I’m a damn Baby Boomer! Ask someone else you dope.
The fans booed heavily as Dasha screamed for Boris to kick out as Jeremiah held the suplex with a bridge attempting to pin him for the quick win. The Russian easily kicked out and then rolled away from Jeremiah toward the ropes and pulled himself up before the Cyborg could get in another quick attack. The two locked up in the center of the ring, but before Boris could out power Jeremiah, the cyborg kicked the Russian in the lower abdomen and then head-butted him with the metal portion of his skull. The impact could be heard around the stadium as the bloodied Boris stumbled back into the nearest turnbuckle.
Scott Slade: Oh man! I think Jeremiah just busted Boris wide open!
Chris Rodgers: That metal head of his should be considered a God damn foreign object! I can’t stand the 21st century! Freaking cyborgs! What’s next? Fully autonomous servants that do our every bidding?
Scott Slade: Dasha Ivanova is absolutely beside herself going nuts on the outside! She wants Jeremiah disqualified for that attack! Drago’s brain has to be scrambled like a dozen eggs after that massive shot!
Chris Rodgers: I don’t think Bob Sigro is a Russian sympathizer so the likely hood of that happening is zero Scotty.
Jeremiah sprinted toward the turnbuckle and leaped up into the air crushing the big Russian with a massive cyborg splash. He then unleashed a series of powerful uppercuts straight to Drago’s jaw before grabbing him by his big head and delivering a nightmarish Cyborg death drop driving the Russian’s skull hard into the wrestling mat. The Mexican fans booed heavily and began tossing garbage and food into the ring as Olivia cheered on her main squeeze’s dominate performance.
Scott Slade: Wow! Wow! Wow! Boris has to be seeing stars right now! This match couldn’t have possibly started out worse for him!
Chris Rodgers: I think he’s trying to put the nail in the coffin Scotty! The cyborg is going to the top rope! He’s going high risk!
Vastrix climbed up onto the top turnbuckle and extended his arms out much as Chris Benoit would do before leaping up off the top rope for major Michael Jordan like air before smashing Boris’s head again with a massive flying head-butt. Blood spattered the mat as the massive crowd went dead silent after witnessing the incredible athleticism of Jeremiah. Jeremiah then instantly hooked the Russians leg and the referee speedily dove to the mat for the count.
Scott Slade: FLYING HEADBUTT! ONE!! TWO!!! THREE!!! Jeremiah Vastirx wins!!! JEREMIAH WINS!!!
Chris Rodgers: I don’t think Boris got one offensive move in during that entire match! What a performance by Jeremiah Vastrix! Huckleberry better watch out because the cyborg is coming for that strap around his waist!
Bob Sigro helped Jeremiah up off of Boris and raised his hand high in the air as “Down Low” by R. Kelly began to play. The Mexican fans continued to boo the man who so viciously defeated their hometown hero the week before as Dasha dove into the ring to examine her tag team partner lying on the mat unconscious. Vastrix slid out of the ring and was quickly embraced by Olivia who he placed his arm around as he headed back up the ramp while celebrating his dominate victory.
Scott Slade: Fans we got to cut to a commercial break, but when comeback the Tag Team Titles are on the line! Don’t touch that remote! Ultimate Wrestling is back in sixty seconds!
Ultimate Wrestling owner and M.O.X media mogul Rupert Mudcock sat in his recently renovated and re-carpeted office inside the Estadio Azteca stadium. The old man was sipping on a fine glass of Jefferson’s bourbon whiskey as he stared across his desk at the star-spangled masked vigilante the Reaganator who was standing before him in an aggressive stance. Unbeknownst to Mudcock the masked individual was none other than his personal lead traveling janitor and Mr. Fix It, Ronald Washington who’d gone missing and never arrived in Mexico for work. The Reagantor slammed his fist on Rupert’s desk clearly frustrated with the old man and his attitude.
Reagantor: What do you mean I can’t fight Valora Salinas? She’s the entire reason I’m here! I Want that woman to suffer for crimes!
Rupert: One does not simply walk into Ultimate Wrestling and fight Valora Salinas! She’s my top superstar and my biggest money maker here in Mexico! You’ve got work your way up to fight one of my top wrestlers!
Reagantor: President McStrump…
Rupert: President McStrump does not run Ultimate Wrestling! I’m already doing the President a favor by overlooking your illegal interferences in previous matches involving Valora. I’ve told the President that I won’t be filing charges against you. You should be happy you’re not sitting in a jail cell right now facing criminal charges!
Reagantor: Fine! I want Jeremiah Vastrix then! In a TEXAS DEATHMATCH! TONIGHT!
Rupert: Buhahahaha! You must be kidding! Jeremiah Vastrix is first in line to fight Huckleberry for the top prize in our sport! The Franchise Championship! No, I’m afraid you will have to work your way up the card just like everyone else Mr. Reagantor! No shortcuts here! This is an egalitarian sport! You have to earn everything you get! Nothing is just handed to you in professional wrestling my masked friend!
Reagantor: President McStrump is going to hear about this Mudcock! Keep this up and he’ll block you and your entire wrestling federation from reentering the country!
Rupert: I’ve already agreed to enough strange terms from the President. Such as the fact that I’m supposed to pay you in straight cash and how I can’t even know your true identity! I understand that some things in government have to be kept secret, but I’m not happy about this. If the President isn’t satisfied with our arrangement, then he can seek reelection without the help of M.O.X News. I Will see how well he fairs without me and my News organization brainwashing the peasants to vote for him! What’s his approval rating right now? -5%?
Reagantor: But… I…
Rupert: The answer no damn it! Now get the hell out of my office! You want favors from me? Then you’re going to have to earn them! Covering your ugly face in the American flag doesn’t make you a Patriot in my eyes!
Reagantor: Ahhhh! This useless!
The Reagantor stormed out of Rupert’s office and slammed the door shut hard behind him as Rupert smiled in satisfaction. The old man then pulled out a cigar and lit it as Allen Anderson swung open the door to the adjacent conference room. Allen had heard the entire altercation between Rupert and the Reagantor and was already scheming ideas of he could use him to get at Valora and Jeremiah. Rupert greeted his Vice President of operations while taking a long hard drag from his Cuban cigar.
Allen: He’s a feisty one.
Rupert: Whoever he is, he’s dangerous, and out to get Valora for what she did at the I.C.E detention center. He may even have other vendettas against her we’re not aware of. President McStrump wouldn’t have sent him down here to deal with her if he wasn’t more than capable of fighting her. Keep an eye on him and see what you can dig up. Make sure he doesn’t lay a finger on our Latina money maker. Understood?
Anderson turned around away from his boss and rolled his eyes. All Rupert seemed to care about anymore was money. Anderson had no intention of protecting the woman who’d promised to kill him for his role in the North Korean nuclear strikes. If the Reagantor was the assassin Rupert thought he was, then he was going to do everything he could to help the masked vigilante take her out. Hell he’d even hire him to take out that pesky Jeremiah as well.
Allen: Oh absolutely sir. You can count on me. As long as I’m here, Valora Salinas will remain your protected asset. You can rest assured.
Rupert: Good! Now get out of my office!
The live feed returned from commercial break with the camera once again focused on Rose Johnston standing in the center of the ring. She was clearly ready to announce the second match of the evening and many of the fans were rushing back to their assigned seats with their beer, chips, and salsa in hand. Smoke floated up into the atmosphere as mass amounts of copal burned from each corner of the stadium giving the arena a strange smell and an eerie vibe.
Scott Slade: Welcome back Ultimate Wrestling! We are just about to kick things off again!
Chris Rodgers: Yeah! I can’t wait! More violence, please!
Suddenly the lights dimmed inside the stadium and “Evolution” by Korn began to play on the sound system. A series of masked men wearing snake masks walked out holding flaming torches as Evolution and Metamorphosis walked out onto the stage to a nice pop from the Mexican fans who seemed to recognize Evolution. The two massive warriors had the Ultimate Wrestling Tag Team Championship belts draped over their shoulders as they made their way down the ramp ignoring the fans around them.
Rose Johnston: ¡Se dirigieron al anillo proveniente de "Time and Space" y acompañados por el ejército de Evolution! ¡Con un peso combinado de 539 libras! ¡LOS CAMPEONES DEL EQUIPO DE ETIQUETAS! ¡EVOLUCIÓN Y METAMORFOSAS!
Scott Slade: These guys’ give me goosebumps every time I see them.
Chris Rodgers: Tell me about it, Scott. They’ve been an absolute train wreck since arriving on the scene here in Ultimate Wrestling. The whole reason Kronin is paralyzed is because of that mad man with the snake face! Evolution went way out of his way to hurt Reinhardt and I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to do the same to LuLu tonight.
Scott Slade: Well Biggs had some harsh words for him over the week and feels like he’s the man to bring the big man down a peg.
Chris Rodgers: Well fat boy better have his guard up tonight because these two aren’t just looking to win, they’re looking to hurt people!
The snake men holding the burning torches surrounded the wrestling ring before the two giant men climbed up the steel steps and high stepped over the ring ropes to get inside of it. Suddenly their music was cut off and “Horses in the Back” by Lil Nas and Billy Ray Sirus began to blare over the sound system. The fans seemed confused at first until Huckleberry, LuLu Biggs, and Slick Mick rode out onto the stage riding Donkey’s.
Chris Rodgers: What in the {bleeeep}…?
Scott Slade: It’s LuLu and Huckleberry! They’re on horseback!!!
Chris Rodgers: Those aren’t horses, you moron! They’re donkeys! These idiots aren’t taking this seriously at all! Look at them! They’re going to get killed by these psychopaths!
All three men were dressed in flamboyant cowboy pimp hybrid outfits and were wearing sparkling sombreros. Each one of them had a fat blunt in their mouths and were smoking like there was no tomorrow on their way down the ramp. Evolution and Metamorphoses stood in the ring starring at their imbecilic opponents unamused by them. Their anger grew with every passing minute as the fans looked on baffled and somewhat amused.
Rose Johnston: Los retadores! ¡Estar acompañado por el único Slick Mick! ¡Proveniente de la ciudad de Nueva York y Dublín, Georgia! ¡Con un peso combinado sorprendente de 749 libras! LuLu Biggs y el campeón de franquicias de peso pesado HUCKLEBERRY!!!
As the three pot-smoking desperados made their way down the ramp, Evolution began screaming at his snake masked minions. He pointed at the trio riding their way down the ramp and barked some orders at them. The donkey carrying LuLu looked exhausted from carrying the 600 pounder and looked extremely ill as the minions rushed the ramp waving their flaming torches at the burrows in an attempt to scare them. The donkeys ridden by Huckleberry and Slick Mick bucked wildly launching both men off of their backsides and onto the floor with a thud. However, the Donkey ridden by Biggs vomited onto the Minions causing them to lose focus as they attempted to avoid the putrid projectile gush. LuLu’s donkey then collapsed to the floor much to his dismay as he got off the poor creature and then braced himself as the slop covered minions came after him and his comrades.
Scott Slade: My God! All hell has broken loose!
Chris Rodgers: This is insanity! I knew those snake worshippers were going to be trouble!
Biggs whipped out his diamond-studded pimp cane and went to town on the first two minions who came at him knocking them to the floor with ease. He then helped up his manager and tag team partner up off of the floor. The two then grabbed hold of two other minions and bashed their faces into the steel guard railing multiple times before tossing them onto the puke-covered floor. Evolution watched his men be eliminated one by one until none of them were left standing. Biggs and Huckleberry then tossed their large extravagant sombreros into the crowd and stormed the ring. Instantly the four fighters began brawling with one another. The fans roared with excitement as referee Bob Sigro frantically called for the bell and attempted to reign in control of the match.
Scott Slade: What a start to this tag team title match! This could be an instant classic!
Chris Rodgers: If the Referee doesn’t get control of this match it’s going to end in a disqualification before it even gets started!
Metamorphoses instantly beat the Franchise champion back with his superior strength and then clotheslined him over the ring ropes out onto the cold hard floor. The fans roared with excitement as LuLu charged Evolution like E. Honda from Streetfighter backing him up into the corner turnbuckle. LuLu’s dominant show of strength however was cut short as Metamorphoses dashed in and hit the rotund pimp in between the shoulder blades with a powerful ax handle smash. Metamorphoses then unleashed a series of hard punches to the back of LuLu’s head as the fat man hung unto the wrestling ropes to keep himself upright.
Scott Slade: If there is anyone big enough to fight these two giants it’s LuLu Biggs, but Huckleberry is like a dwarf amongst giants in this match.
Chris Rodgers: Yeah, but nothing phases that little runt, it’s like you can’t intimidate stupid. You know what I’m saying, Scott?
Scott Slade: I don’t care how dumb you are. Evolution is going to strike fear deep within your heart when he looks at you with those reptilian eyes.
Once Evolution had recovered, Metamorphoses exited the ring and took his corner. Evolution grabbed the pimp by his exotic cowboy suit and attempted to toss him into the ropes. LuLu however put his big stump of a foot down hard into the wrestling mat and used his enormous weight to reverse the attempt sending the big seven-foot fighter into the ropes instead. Evolution came off the ropes with incredible velocity and the two fighter collided shoulder to shoulder in a giant impact.
Scott Slade: Ohhh! The immovable object just got hit by the unstoppable force!
Chris Rodgers: God damn! Did you hear that impact?
Both fighters pounded their chests and roared at each other trying to intimidate one another and then began to slug it out with left and rights until LuLu gained the advantage with a powerful haymaker which he then followed up with double leg takedown. With Evolution off of his feet, Biggs tagged in his partner Huckleberry who’d just gotten back on the ring mat and into his team’s corner. The little Appalachian immediately went to work stomping on the snake man which ignited the fans into a chorus of boos.
Scott Slade: I don’t know how anyone could be on the Side of Evolution.
Chris Rodgers: These people are sick Slade! Sick I tell you!
Scott Slade: Well my notes state that Evolution spent quite some time wrestling in Mexico over the years so he may have somewhat of a following down here.
Chris Rodgers: So what you're telling me is that they have a better understanding of this psychopath than we do and yet they’re still cheering for him?
Scott Slade: Uh… good point…
Huckleberry did his customary little jig dance while standing over Evolution before going to the ropes. He then jumped into the air in an attempt to hit the Snake man with a leg drop. The maneuver backfired however as Evolution rolled out the way just in time and Huckleberry landed hard on his tailbone. With Huckleberry on his ass screaming in pain Evolution got up and savate kicked the hillbilly straight in the face with his massive right leg. The fans let out a roar as Evolution picked up the Appalachian and scoop slammed him onto his back. He then bounced off the ropes and leaped up into the air landing a huge splash on Huckleberry before hooking his leg. The Serpent faced man stuck out his snake-like tongue and wiggled it in satisfaction as the referee dove down onto the mat for the count.
Scott Slade: Evolution with the first pin of the match. ONE! TWO!! NO!!! Huckleberry kicks out at the last possible second!
Chris Rodgers: That’s the Franchise Champion Scotty! Evolution should know better! It’s going to take a lot more than that to put that crazy skinny hick down for three!
Evolution frustrated picked up Huckleberry and tossed him into the far-right turnbuckle. The giant Evolution then climbed up the turnbuckle and began pummeling Huckleberry in the face with hard right hands as the Mexican fans counted out loud with each punch in Spanish. Evolution then jumped down back on the wrestling mat, grabbed the dazed and confused Huckleberry, and tossed him into the opposite turnbuckle. The little hillbilly hit the turnbuckle with a massive thud as Evolution stormed in after him in an attempt for a huge splash. Huckleberry, however, had enough wits left about him to dive out the way at the last second causing Evolution to crash chest first into the turnbuckle of the ring.
Scott Slade: Ohhh! Nobody home!
Chris Rodgers: Huckleberry was lucky to get out of there just in time!
Evolution stumbled backward awkwardly as Huckleberry ran up and dove at him with a running dropkick straight to his back. The drop kick sent the big man back into the corner of the ring and gave Huckleberry time to tag LuLu back into the match. Biggs went on the attack immediately as he moved as fast as he could over to Evolution and began clubbing him with some heavy fat man forearms. He then whipped the big man back into the turnbuckle again and then stormed in crushing all the air and a great bit of saliva out of the snake man in the process. The impact was so immense that the entire arena stood on their feet and let out an “Oooh” as Evolution stumbled out of the corner crippled and then collapsed face-first onto the wrestling mat.
Chris Rodgers: My God! I think Biggs just broke every rib in Evolutions body!
Scott Slade: Ribs? Try his entire sternum! Christ all mighty that was an epic corner splash!
Chris Rodgers: It’s got to feel like a bus crashing into you! That’s 600 freaking pounds!
Without hesitation LuLu ran over to Evolution with sweat beating down his furrowed brow as he leaped as high as he could off of the wrestling mat and belly-flopped onto Evolution crushing him again for a second time. The fans booed the fat man heavily as he sat up and turned Evolution over onto his back before hooking his right leg for a pin attempt. The referee ran over excitedly and dove on the mat and began counting immediately as Metamorphosis looked on very concerned for his tag team partner.
Scott Slade: The PANCAKE FLOP!!! THE PANCAKE FLOP!!!
Chris Rodgers: He was 0 for 3 on attempts for that move since joining Ultimate Wrestling but he comes up big this time!
Scott Slade: This could be all she wrote, ONE! TWO!! NO!!!
Chris Rodgers: Somehow, some way, that snake monster of a man dug deep down inside and kicked out! Where does he get this inhuman drive!! Incredible resilience in the face of defeat!!!
Scott Slade: You’re telling me! If his insides weren’t a bag full mashed potatoes before they are now!
LuLu cussed like a sailor at referee Bob Sigro convinced that the official was slow on the count. He then got up slowly off the wrestling mat and picked up Evolution by his long black hair. The reptilian psychopath who’d struck fear for over a month into the Ultimate Wrestling roster had been reduced to a vomit-covered mortal. Blood trickled from the inside of his mouth indicating that the evolved one was suffering from internal bleeding from all the weight landing on his chest cavity. LuLu using all of his incredible sumo strength picked up the 300-pound Evolution straight up as if he was going suplex him and then dropped him sternum first onto the wrestling ropes. As Evolution sprung back up Biggs used all of his upper body strength to snap suplex him back into the ring like a rag doll.
Chris Rodgers: Wow what a move! We haven’t seen that one from Biggs before. Could that be the secret move he was talking about?
Scott Slade: I don’t know, but Evolution looks like a beaten man. I don’t think we’ve ever seen him like this before!
Biggs turned to the hostile crowd and began taunting them and flexing. He then slowly waddled his way over to his corner and tagged in Huckleberry who immediately went straight to the top rope. The little Appalachian pulled out his customary flask of moonshine and then took a long hard swig of it before tossing it away to the Mexican fans. He then sprung off the ropes attempting to hit the “Moonshine Devine” flying head-butt, but Evolution rolled out of the way just in time. The little hillbilly smacked his skull something fierce off the wrestling mat and laid motionless as the entire arena laughed and mocked him. With Huckleberry out unconscious on the wrestling mat, Evolution made a critical decision and began to crawl toward his teammate for a tag instead of going for a pin.
Chris Rodgers: Evolution desperately trying to pull himself close enough to tag in his brother in arms Metamorphoses into this match.
Scott Slade:Looks like Huckleberry is back up and trying to shake off the cobwebs after that massive blunder. Is Evolution going make it in time?
Metamorphoses reached out as far as his long arm could reach and Evolution extended his enormous wingspan to its full extent and tagged in his partner just as Huckleberry got there. Metamorphoses came into the ring like a bat out of hell and began hitting Huckleberry with massive rights and lefts to the face and the body backing him up into the center of the ring. LuLu seeing his partner was in a bad way quickly entered the ring catching the attention of the referee.
Chris Rodgers: Oh man! Biggs wants back in this fight right now!
Scott Slade: Someone needs to tell him he has to make a tag first!
The fans roared with excitement from the intense action as Metamorphoses went to the ropes and attempted to clothesline Huckleberry who looked extremely disoriented. At the last possible second, Huckleberry ducked under the big man’s arm avoiding it. Huckleberry also went to the ropes and the two sprung off the opposite ends of the ring before coming towards each other at full steam. With the referee preoccupied with Biggs refusing to leave the ring, Huckleberry caught the inexperienced Metamorphoses off-guard by kicking him as hard as he could straight in the testicles. The blow dropped Metamorphoses down to his knees as the little Hillbilly grabbed hold of his head and spiked it into the wrestling mat with a massive DDT.
Chris Rodgers: MASSIVE LOW BLOW! WHAT IS BOB SIGRO DOING! TURN AROUND, YOU DOLT!
Scott Slade: His family jewels must be all the way up in his throat right about now Chris. What a kick!
Biggs seeing that the Huckster was back in control of the match agreed to go back to his corner as Huckleberry covered his opponent. The referee turned around and went down to the mat again to make the count as Huckleberry hooked the leg and even pulled Metamorphoses tights to try to hold the beast of a man down.
Chris Rodgers: He’s pulling his tights! I think Sigro needs to have his eyes checked, he blowing calls left and right tonight!
Scott Slade: This could be it! ONE!! TWO!!! NO!!!!!!!
Chris Rodgers: I got give it to Metamorphoses. That was something special. Kicking out after having your balls crushed is something most men couldn’t do. I mean that poor bastard probably won’t ever be able to have kids again after that low blow.
Huckleberry jumped up pulling at his hair absolutely beside himself with the fact that Metamorphoses kicked out of his combo special. LuLu frantically motioned for him to tag him back into the match and the little Hillbilly did as the fat man asked. LuLu entered the ring with great machismo as he cracked his big knuckles and stood tall over Metamorphoses who was on all fours trying to make his way over to his tag team partner without vomiting up his lunch. Biggs dropped a huge elbow directly on his spine and flattened Metamorphoses out face first on the wrestling mat. Once again the fans began to boo the challengers as they took control of the match.
Chris Rodgers: Things are not looking good here for the Tag Team Champions Scotty.
Scott Slade: Even if Metamorphoses can tag Evolution in the man’s been coughing up blood since he got to his corner. He doesn’t look like he’s in any shape to compete further in this match.
Chris Rodgers: He’s slumped over and looks miserable that’s for sure. Only wish Kronin was here to see this!
LuLu picked up Metamorphoses and tossed him into his own corner pointing and screaming at him to tag in his partner Evolution back into the match. The tubby man was clearly angry at Evolution for the murder of his special Christmas donkey Renaldo. The 600-pound pimp wanted revenge and he wanted it that instant. Metamorphoses completely intimidated by his opponent tagged the injured Evolution into the match. Evolution frustrated with his partner tossed him out of the ring onto the floor before entering with a foul look on his face.
Scott Slade: Can you believe it! Biggs tossed his opponent into his own partner’s corner! He wants Evolution! It looks like he has a serious score to settle with him!
Chris Rodgers: This all goes back to Renaldo the donkey! We’ve been getting hate mail for the entire week from P.E.T.A thanks to Evolution!
Biggs and Evolution looked horns in a test of strength with Evolution digging down deep with all his might to try and push the behemoth that is LuLu Biggs back. Sadly, even the powerful Evolution couldn’t move the Sumo trained Biggs who stood his ground like an NFL lineman protecting a franchise quarterback. Eventually, Evolution tired out and Biggs drove him like a bulldozer back into his own corner and then began to knee him hard in his already injured lower abdomen. With the test of strength now broken LuLu pushed the snake man back up against the turnbuckle and slapped chest hard repeatedly until it was beat red.
Chris Rodgers: Biggs is just torturing Evolution at this point.
Scott Slade: Good. That {bleeping} bastard deserves it.
Chris Rodgers: Scotty take it easy! Were on air… I couldn’t agree more though and I know Kara Reinhardt is probably somewhere in a waiting room right now savoring every minute of this!
Scott Slade: Do it for Renaldo Biggs! Whoop his ass! Whoop it Gangnam style!
With Evolution doing everything he could to stay upright Biggs took the big man down to the wrestling mat with a kick to the gut and a massive jawbreaker. The Mexican fans looked as if they couldn’t believe their eyes as Biggs dragged Evolution just outside the corner of the ring. He then began to cup his hand to his ear much like Hulk Hogan would as the fans booed him. He then aggressively climbed up to the middle turnbuckle and placed his hands on the top ring ropes for balance. He then began to jump up and down using his own weight to his advantage to springboard himself up into the air about five feet before crashing his fat ass down on the chest cavity of Evolution for a massive Yokozuna style Banzai drop.
Chris Rodgers: Good God all mighty he’s dead! As God as my witness Evolution has been crushed to death!
Scott Slade: That has to be it! I was tipped before the match by Slick Mick! It’s called the ASS LOAD!!!
Chris Rodgers: Oh! It was an ass load alright! Look, the ring mat caved in! Evolution’s torso is halfway through the ring!
Bob Sigro dashed over from the other side of the ring and dove to the mat for the count as LuLu sat confidently on top of Evolution. Huckleberry was jumping up and down with excitement in his corner as he watched the count unfold.
Scott Slade: ONE! TWO!! THREE!!!
Chris Rodgers: It’s over! We have new Tag Team Champions!
LuLu Biggs sat up off of the motionless Evolution as Referee Bob Sigro raised his hand high in the air. The bell rang over and over as “Horses in the Back” by Lil Nas and Billy Ray Sirus started to play. Rose Johnston came over the microphone and announced Huckleberry and LuLu Biggs as the new Ultimate Wrestling Tag Team Champions before presenting them the belts in person. Huckleberry lifts the Franchise Championship and his newly acquired Tag Team belt high into the air.
Scott Slade: Referee Bob Sigro looks very concerned about the condition of Evolution Chris.
Chris Rodgers: That’s cause he dead brother! No one could survive that kind of weight coming down on their chest at that velocity! We just witnessed LuLu kill a man with his butt!
Scott Slade: Ladies and Gentlemen disregard my colleague’s comments, he’s neither a Doctor nor an educated man for that matter.
Chris Rodgers: It’s not like you need a college degree to know when someone’s not breathing brother!
As Biggs and Huckleberry celebrated with Slick Mick a series of EMT workers along with Dr. William Drake rushed out to the ring and began to examine Evolution. They quickly got the seven-footer up onto a stretcher and carried up the ramp into the backstage area where the camera followed him to where he was loaded up into the ambulance. The fans in the arena booed as a gaggle of hookers came out onto the stage from behind the curtain to dance and celebrate with the three desperadoes.
Scott Slade: Fans we have to cut to commercial break for another sixty seconds, but when we come back Valora Salinas and Takuma Sato duke it out for the Submission Championship! Also will try to update you on Evolutions condition as soon as we get any updates.
Chris Rodgers: I have done told you already! He’s dead! No normal human being could walk away from something like that!
Scott Slade: Evolution is no normal man my friend. If there is anyone who could survive the ass load it’s him!
Chris Rogers: Back in sixty!
The live feed cut back to the ring inside the stadium as Rose Johnston stood in the squared circle for the final time this evening. The fans were frantically chanting “Valora” in anticipation for her main event appearance eager to see her defeat Sato and reclaim the Submission Championship. The atmosphere inside the arena was electric and as soon as “Bring It” by Trapt hit the sound system the entire stadium exploded into cheers for the Latina as she made her way out onto the stage with her protégé Abbigail Dresden behind her.
Rose Johnston: ¡El siguiente partido es para el Ultimate Wrestling Submission Championship! ¡La única forma de ganar es forzar a tu oponente a aprovechar! ¡Bajando por el ring acompañada por Abbigail Dresden! ¡Proveniente de la ciudad caída de Los Ángeles! ¡EL CAMPEÓN DE PUEBLOS! VALORA SALINAS!!!
Scott Slade: There she is! The peoples champion! The former Heavyweight Franchise Champion! Former Submission Specialist Champion! The Icon! Valora Salinas!!!
Chris Rodgers: I’ll give that beastly woman this, she looks sharp tonight. She’s probably been training all week with that lesbian love partner of hers.
Scott Slade: I’m pretty sure their relationship is purely platonic.
Chris Rodgers: Your naivety knows no bounds…
Valora slapped high fives with her fans all the way down the ramp before sliding into the ring where she was confronted by referee Bob Sigro who was emphatic about stressing the rules of the match to her. Valora’s music soon after cut off and “Something to Believe in” by Off-Spring began to play. The fans gave a mixed reaction that was more dominated by boo’s then cheers for Sato as he walked out onto the stage shirtless in his black martial arts training pants. The submission championship belt was strapped around his waist and glimmered under the stadium's big lights as he walked down the ramp.
Rose Johnston: Su oponente! Proveniente de Detroit, Michigan! ¡Él es el actual Campeón de Sumisión de Ultimate Wrestling! ¡Él es el maestro del golpe de corazón! Él es TAKUMA SATO!
Scott Slade: Well it sounds as if Sato has been very busy since arriving in Mexico. Rumors have it he might starting a martial arts school soon.
Chris Rodgers: Hopefully it fairs better than his fathers! Hah!
Scott Slade: Ooh… dude that is not cool…
Chris Rodgers: Too soon?
Scott Slade: Way to soon, you’ll be lucky if he doesn’t come after you for that comment.
Chris Rodgers: Seriously?
The champion ignored the fans as he made his way up the steel steps and into the ring where he quickly touched fists with Valora and then went over to his corner. Sigro had a quick word with him and then signaled for the bell immediately. Sato and Valora both came out of their opposite corners like two MMA fighters with their fists up prancing around looking for openings to come at one another. Sato made the first contact with a sweeping side kicked that connected on Valora’s left knee. The two circled each other until Valora surprised Sato by unexpectedly moving in with a nice right, left, uppercut combo, and that connected hit the martial artist in the face three straight times. The fans roared and started chanting “Valora” as they watched the chess match between the two fighters unfold.
Scott Slade: Both individuals here approaching this match more like an MMA fight than a wrestling match Chris.
Chris Rodgers: It looks like Valora is adapting more to Sato’s fighting style for this match instead of trying to brawl him like she did last time. We Will see if that strategy pay’s off.
Scott Slade: Well we know Valora has extensive martial arts training as well, she may not have been trained since the age of five like Sato, but she a damn good fighter.
Chris Rodgers: Another thing I’m noticing here is she’s not rushing in. She being a lot more cautious which is wise since Sato is known for being a good counter fighter.
Valora was quick to strike again as she kicked Sato in his hard chiseled abdomen and then used her jab to keep Sato at a distance. Suddenly the two stopped circling and both went in at each other exchanging massive punches back and forth. Some were blocked by both fighters but more than one connected for each of them causing bruising on both fighter's faces. The flurry of punches ignited the fans again as both fighters retreated back to a defensive stance and began circling around the ring. Sato once again was able to get a quick strike on Valora left knee which seemed to hurt the older fighter as she began to limp and slow after the attack.
Scott Slade: Sato keeps going after that left knee, one has to wonder if he’s looking to apply some sort of submission hold on it later in the match. Sato could be playing the long game here and wearing Valora down.
Chris Rodgers: He’s an incredibly smart fighter and I wouldn’t put it past him. He really seems at home in this Submission style wrestling division.
Valora once again moved in for a one, two combo punch, but only the first punch connected as Sato hit her in the chest with a high knee and forced her to back up. Valora tried to fight back with a powerful kick, but Sato slapped it away and then nailed Valora with a powerful punch straight on the chin that rocked her and sent her stumbling back into the ropes. The fans booed Sato’s success and became even more hostile toward him.
Scott Slade: Recent polling shows Sato is the second most popular fighter amongst the Mexican fans, but even so they are still booing him tonight.
Chris Rodgers: They didn’t come here to see Sato. They came to see Valora and specifically, they came to see her win. What do you expect them to do? Cheer him on?
Sato attempted to move in and hit Valora with a powerful standing side kick to the head, but Valora caught his leg and then while holding his leg delivered a massive punch that hit Sato straight in the nose breaking it. Blood instantly exploded out of Sato’s nostrils as he yanked his leg out of Valora’s grasp and shook off the blow before returning salvo with an impressive front kick that nailed Valora in the abdomen. The impact backed Valora up against the ropes again and seemed to infuriate her. The Latina bounced off the ropes and returned fire with a series of punches and the two warriors went toe to toe hitting each other with everything they had until Valora took Sato down to the mat with a double leg takedown.
Chris Rodgers: Oh man! She’s got Sato on the wrestling mat! Look at all the blood! This is epic! Just listen to the capacity crowd!
Scott Slade: Incredible! Can she lock something in?
Sato wrestled with Valora as he attempted put him in an armbar, but Sato squirmed free and got back up onto his feet before Valora could take advantage of putting him down on the mat. Sato’s blood littered the ring mat as he tried his best to breathe through his mouth. Valora came at Sato feeling she had him on the defense and got him with another kick to the sternum. She then moved in and caught the champion with an uppercut that backs him up against the turnbuckle. Valora rushed in to take full advantage of her opponent’s vulnerability, but Sato got his foot up and booted her in the face with his right foot. He then charged in, leaped up off the wrestling mat, and nailed her with a WuShu butterfly fly kick that took Valora off her feet and onto her back.
Scott Slade: Oh impressive kick from Sato! Reaching into his wing Chun background!
Chris Rodgers: He got himself out a bad situation and is now in control.
Sato grabbed Valora’s leg and attempted to lock in an ankle lock submission hold, but the Latina kicked Sato in the nose further injuring him and escaped the hold. The fans let out a roar as Valora got back to her feet and went on the attack with Sato still holding his face in agony after taking another hard shot to his face. Valora moved in again and nailed Takuma with some massive boxer style body shots with both her fists as she backed him up against the turnbuckle of the ring and followed it up with a kick to his gut before grabbing hold of his head under her right arm and spiking it into the ring mat with a devastating DDT. The fans cheered for Valora as she popped up and instantly locked in her Aztec Clutch submission hold. Sato struggled as the Referee moved in to see if he wanted to submit to Valora.
Scott Slade: Aztec Clutch! This could be it, Chris!!
Chris Rodgers: Look at the position in the ring though. Sato may be close enough to reach the ring rope if he can get his right arm free Scotty!
Scott Slade: I don’t think he’s going to get to it in time! He’s fading fast and I don’t think the loss of blood is helping! YES! THAT’S IT! BOB SIGRIO IS CALLING FOR THE BELL! SATO IS OUT COLD!
Chris Rodgers: NO! Impossible!
Valora released her hold on Sato and dropped him to the wrestling mat in a pool of his own blood. The Mexican fans let out a deafening roar as the timekeeper sounded the bell signifying the end of the match. Referee Bob Sigro held Valora’s arm up high in the air and awarded her the Submission Specialist Championship title belt. Valora’s protégé Abbigail jumped into the ring and gave Valora a huge before raising her other arm high into the air. “Bring It” by Trapt started to play as Valora walked over to Takuma and helped him up off the wrestling mat.
Rose Johnston: The winner of this match and NEW! ULTIMATE WRESTLING SUBMISSION CHAMPION!! VALORA SALINAS!!!
Scott Slade: Look at the sportsmanship from Valora helping Sato up off the mat and Sato is embracing her. As brutal as this fight was, these two fighters respect and cherish one another as skilled competitive athletes. Incredible stuff! Fans we are all out of time but tune in next week for another fantastic episode of Friday Night Clash!
Sato’s girlfriend Amber Tuchek pulled into the hotel parking lot in Ivan Stricker’s white Chrysler Lebaron with Takuma sitting in the passenger seat with two tampons shoved up the nostrils of his very swollen bloody nose. As she pulled into their parking space she pulled the hand brake and switched off the automobile. Sato looked miserable after having lost his championship belt and losing to a woman he’d only beat a few weeks ago.
Amber: You going to be okay? You look awful.
Sato: I’m more frustrated that I lost to her again than about the broken nose. I’ve just been so distracted with what happened to Ares and all the political turmoil back home. She could tell I wasn’t on my game and she went after me hard.
Amber: You two have gotten to know each other pretty well over the last year or so. She can probably read you pretty well. Maybe she got in your head somehow the last time you two were together?
Sato: Yeah we had a bit of an argument about the Rebels of Society, Ares, and my future…
Amber: Let me guess, she told you to take a step back and pull yourself away from all that insanity?
Sato: Yeah. How’d you know?
Amber: Because that’s good advice Taku. You were distracted tonight because your worried about Ares and stuff you can’t possibly control that’s taking place in America right now.
Sato: The R.O.S needs a leader. If I go back…
Amber: Do you want to end up like Ares in Guantanamo Bay or get stuck like Valora in a foreign country unable to leave because of your seeking asylum from the U.S. government?
Sato: I guess not… come on let’s go inside.
The couple got out of the convertible and went to their hotel door. When they opened it and stepped inside they were shocked to find Sato’s manager Ivan Stricker standing next to the front runner for the Democratic Presidential nomination Ernie Flanders. Ernie was a strange-looking man that was bald onto and had grey protruding in a strange cone-like fashion from the sides of his head. He was known for fighting for the poor and working-class of American his entire political career and was also part of the Civil Rights movement in the ’60s.
Sato: Uhhh… what’s going on here?
Ivan: Sorry Taku, he insisted I let him in so he could speak with you.
Flanders: I’m here because of this.
Flanders pulled out the television remote for the room and fired up the flat screen mounted on the wall. The television was already set to ANN News who was reporting massive civil unrest in more than half of the major U.S. Cities from cost to cost. Since Ares had been captured the Rebels of Society had been riling up all the people angry at President McStrump for his many failures of the past four years. His comments about declaring martial law hadn’t helped cool things out the previous weeks as more and more people took to the streets to demand his resignation from office.
Flanders: This young man is a disaster. This is not how you affect positive change in our country! This is only going to further motivate that not job in the white house to actually suspend the constitution and declare martial law. If he does that not only will he have absolute power over every aspect of our government, but he’ll most likely cancel the democratic elections that just around the corner!
Sato: I’m not in charge of the Rebels of Society. I’m just a member. I’m not the one telling them to riot and protest all across the country.
Flanders: Please. I have connections in the R.O.S. I’m a democratic socialist for crying out loud! I know for a fact that you been in contact with the remaining leadership of the movement since Ares was arrested. Now don’t get me wrong what you and Valora did with him to set those people free was a very selfless and brave act, but every action has consequences.
Sato: What exactly do you want from me old man? I can’t stop the American people from acting out against the President. It’s not just the R.O.S who’s pissed at him anymore.
Flanders: No, but you can tell your friends quit flaming the flames. We’re going to revolutionize this country the peaceful way! The Democratic way! You have to trust me, young man. I can lead the counter-movement to McStrump and turning things around the right way. Your people and the American people just need to be patient.
Amber: Taku maybe you should listen to him. He’s been around a lot longer than you have and he’s been fighting this fight for at least 3 of your lifetimes.
Sato let out a loud sigh and picked up his smartphone of the nightstand next to the bed. He then began to dial a number.
Taku: Fine Flanders, I’ll do my best to see if I can get them to cool things down. I can’t make promises though. I’m not Ares Metaxas.
Flanders: I have it on good authority that you're well respected in the movement. I think they’ll listen, son… God help us if they don’t.
TO BE CONTINUED ON FRIDAY NIGHT CLASH 15!