Human when created by the Supreme power, was made with lot of lovely mechanics and one of them is called as "Emoting". One of the most powerful characteristics, the human can emote is "Pain". It can be internally ingrained, externally ingrained, whatever or wherever it comes from, it is one of the strongest emotion of the human. So me being a normal human, I landed myself in one off - painful phase of my life, the reasons that created it are various (internal and external etc.).
Knowingly or unknowingly, I had landed up myself, with tremendous amount of pain, where I could go days crying and eating a lot of food, 95% being junk. Clinically, it is a known fact that, binge eating releases hormones which provides a pseudo pleasure to you, covering up the depression/pain you are in for a temporary period, in other words, it blocks your brain from generating painful hormones. So here I was sitting with pain, standing with pain, sleeping with pain, talking in pain and one in all - it was PAIN all over (I expanded it as "Personal Admittance Into Nonsense' zone).
As suggested by my closer circle of wonderful people, I decided I would meet the psychologist. The word "Psychologist" is a little scary, it gives you a shocking rush in your spine, wondering "are you mentally ill?" (Sounds erotic!!!). Anyways, crossing over my shocking rush, fear and acting brave, I meet my psychologist on a Saturday. Its a cosy room, well furnished, vibrating a lot of positive energy, and sitting on a chair, there is a well dressed beautiful lady, looking so calm, with a pleasant aura around her, with a bright smile, says a loud and a clear "Hello" to me. I then, relax and start my conversation with her. She questions, I answer, my eyes swelled with tears and then conversation goes on. It continues as five different sessions, where she talks, explains logic, runs me through meditation, helps me to write my greatest fear and finally teaches me how to let go of what I was holding on - the pain.
At the end of the fifth and final session, I am beaming with bright smile and feeling lighter - the heart and the mind is lighter-not the body weight-and I thank her for the time and importantly the "ear" she gave me. She didn't teach me what I didn't know. I knew what she was talking, all the logic and practicalities of life, to be realistic, all of it I knew. I just needed a mirror to show me exactly the way I wanted to see it and she did that. To show mirror to people, the way they want to see it, is definitely a tricky job and that's why psychologists exists.
What I learnt in the whole process of pain is, its okay to break down, its okay to turn painful, its okay to cry because there is always a phase in your life, where we will suffer to get better in life. Important to know is - its okay to ask for help, its okay to love yourself before you love anybody else, its okay if you are your own top priority, its okay to be happy on your own, its okay to let go of past, its okay to welcome change; in all the psychologist taught me "Mind your own business, your business is yours, so don't allow anybody to control it". Its been tough but definitely at the end of it, one of the most powerful and beautiful journey of pain in my life- which has made me more empathetic, kind and more fearless.
Now I expand Pain as "Personal Admittance Into NONE of others business" zone. Thank you to all those wonderful humans who stood by me in the most difficult journey of my life. Blessed with love.
Vidya
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