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Stars blinked in the distance as Calsinno cranked his starfighter into neutral. He leaned back in his pilot’s seat and grinned. The Unbug milk was safe, locked inside one of the many hidden compartments he designed himself. Now all that remained was to wait for the hyperdrive to recharge, and, according to the scanners, he was in the clear. For now.
A low boom resounded through the vessel, and tremors shook Calsinno in his chair. He sat upright and checked the radar. Nothing. Moments later, three large red dots pulsated on the screen, closing in fast on his location.
“Son of a bitch…”
He pumped a lever just above his head and a whirring sounded, gaining in volume and pitch. Each subsequent push and pull provided increased resistance. He grit his teeth.
“Come… on… charge… you… bastard!”
Another blast rocked the ship. It lurched and groaned in protest against the beams that assaulted the hull. Static came over the intercom, mingled with a familiar voice.
“Fertherder, you’ve gotta get the milk… out… need it… safe…”
The message broke into several bits of static, and then cut off entirely. He pressed the com’s button, killing the white noise. Another blast caused the ship to tremble. He gripped his hands tight on the stick.
“Yeah, yeah, you try fending off three goddamn warships. How the hell did they afford those anyway?”
He mulled that over.
“Well, they are thieves, I suppose.” Another blast. A warning siren screeched throughout the cabin. The small screen on the dashboard read that rear shields had been lowered to ten percent. He smashed it with a fist.
“Just great! Wonderful! Now I’m gonna get sucked into the vacuum of space over some goddamn milk!”
A mechanical voice chimed. “Hyperdrive ready.”
“Fucking finally!”
He pressed a sequence of buttons and smiled. After a few seconds, however, that smile began to fade. “Shit.”
He glanced at one of the monitors: rear shields were down to three percent. His eyes returned to the forward view and ahead he saw a dense asteroid belt, clusters of large rock drifting and colliding with one another, moving without pause.
The starfighter sped into the belt and, as best he could, Calsinno dodged and weaved. Then finally he looped around a rock as large as the warships. He landed there, hoping they would pass. He kept a wary eye on the radar. The blinking red dots flew by. Minutes passed, then he disengaged from the asteroid. Pressing that same sequence of buttons that failed him previously, his starfighter raced through stars and beyond solar systems, and he saw nothing but lines of blue.
He let out a deep sigh. Then napped. The coordinates he input for the hyperdrive would take him straight to Noridia.
This is truly awesome, @xanderslee! For a parody, it is quite compelling, and beautifully written.
Thanks, @jayna!
...I had no clue what I was doing. XD