Ohhhh i love your kid haiku!
to eek lil' bahs
that is just the perfect way to describe the way they let out such sweet little sounds
And the onomatopoeia in the Mizu No Oto Haiku is just brilliant. The three lines have a sense of three perspectives, the fact, and the external and internal perceptions of that. There is almost a shallowness to the middle line, when contrasted with the last, what is seen as cute and sleeping, is actually a whole mixture of experiences giving that impression.
Jeez dear sweet Ashley, this is indeed a collection of very fine examples of your skills <3
Foxtales! You create a beautifully intimate snapshot of a moment between two lovers. I have mused a little on the various ways to read the scene and found there are so many levels to this one, although the main ones comes across the most strongly. The language at the start, the hints of an aisle, the wait, the captured desire pulled through from the image made me think of a couple having just completed an official union, which kinda ties in with a lot of metaphors, the connection between the blindfold and the veil, and the removal of it.
It also has the feeling of an intimate surprise, a blind fold tied on, the teasing touch, the leading/guiding through the door, the sensual language taking a more tender tone, leading to a freeing of her who was blindfolded. - if it wasn't for the established connection between them, it has the vibes of a coming into own story, a blindfold offering the sanctuary needed to explore ones self.
But i suspect they are not things you put in there so much and the main story between the lines here is so beautiful. The way you play with the blind fold as a metaphor is brilliant, you capture the taunting moment, the squeeze of cheeks proceeding a game of pleasure, the lack of description for the other party is a really nice way to work with her being blind folded, and giving that perspective. There is a touch of submission/dominance in the blindfold, and the leading, which is so masterfully overridden by the tender language, showing that it is instead an equal trust between the two. It just works so very well, and the ending, a coming into their own, a freeing moment, although this line
With the blind flying to the air, her eyes finally saw the gift they have tried getting for so long
gives the impression she is seeing her lover for the first time, its an intriguing dynamic you paint between them, an implicate trust and depth of regard and affection. So very nicely done <3
Anyway, shall return for FTS cos this is an essay haha
~Uw-peckin’-wU~ Thanks for reading, philosophizing, comprehending and complimenting my post!~ Indeed, had to play up the cuteness factor for goaty, but it played well with the kitty one next where I applied my, supposedly, trademark style here. But yes, three perspectives: the bland reality, speaker and actions (crude fact, the displaced Subject and the rendered Object, respectively, coming together to form a scene). All fun to make respectively and with each other.
Now to the completely trans-lesbo scene; lesbiab, biab biab. Anywho, that blind drawing was perfect for something intimate, especially with the poking fingers to the cheeks. And I felt rather describing the two lovely people before they acted upon their intimacy, the frustrations, the pulls-n-tugs and the reveal that finally gives way to Cupid doing best what Cupid does (lovey-dovey shit :D : D :D :D). But tak, I did want to allow multiple perspectives to pour into the bland reality description I was laying down here, from those that are couples, to outsiders and those coming into a relationship. And yer analysis, mój Ukochany, be spot on but I like to add “reminded off” before “seeing her lover” - the act of Jouissance and signification all playing into the entirity of the 300-word-mono-paragraph. Even then, the analysis goes unhindered from here once again.