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RE: 16 days of literature: Particle Ghost

in #finishthestory6 years ago

The long awaited and over hyped FTS essay :p this has taken me a while, because the more i read it, the more i found i saw something else in it, which may not have been what you intended, but hopefully I saw some of it as meant.

I love that you come straight in with the focus - himself, setting up the reader for the introspective nature of the beautiful verse that follow, playing with the water.

There is a sense of trying to reach the intangiable, the ethereal, in touching his own reflection, a moment of wonder at the self. The murkiness, slipping away time the river with the many possible layers of meaning, from new clarity, to the old washed away by the new, and the passage of time. (You manage to incorporate so many haiku elements in to each one of these - so many of them could stand alone)

And then the next bit, am I right in that despite everything, his may no longer be troubled, but he still wishes to understand the truth of the matter?

Then the next few verse, which are beautiful haiku's in their own right, feel like the external perspective of nature, which in a way provides a contrast to his earlier introspection, giving a sense of balance to the rest of the story. The animals featured feel in harmony with nature, the frogs hopping in the sun, the dragon flies catching the gentle breeze, the small animals in the shade of the trees. It adds to the feeling of balance that flow like the river throughout this. I also love how you keep tying back to the river <3

The return to Mr Rehne. Ren, described as an onlooker would see him (pretzel-crossed is just brilliant <3) gives me this sense of him coming back to himself with a new clarity (tying back to the water earlier) then, pulled back to his reflection, it feels as though he is able to sense, and pass below the surface to his inner self.

There is just so much in him grasping himself, seized by his own reflection, rising from below the surface. It feels like only then does he see himself, (and his 'foe') for what they truly are, but there is a feeling of not wanting to, of denial, having to confirm it, leading to a sense of connection, touching noses, examining what he is shown to find his own weight in it.

When he finally comes to see it, he is filled with the stillness of shame, but then he accepts himself with a kiss, in such a beautiful moment.

Only then, the apparition reveals itself, (or maybe more, that he is able to see it for what it is now) with a sudden moment of shock - the particle ghost. (which given that's this also the title of this entire post, feels like a projection of the self, the confident and love to teach and guide as well as some form of ethereal being) Although I am not sure I fully get the reference to old customs?

The returning back verse is such a strong one. The ghost taken as a projection of the self, can be read as the part of him that had rejected who he had become, and so been lost to him returning. The particle ghost seen a teacher and guide, then gift of wisdom, and possibly a degree of self-awareness and self acceptance. The embrace itself equally symbolic <3

The sense of contentment at the end, the tie back to nature and all it had symbolised through the story, is just such a perfect way to wrap it up.

Another brilliant poem, FTS entry, and post <3<3