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RE: 16 days of literature: Particle Ghost

in #finishthestory6 years ago

I am very impressed with your multi haiku finish the story entry. I am not a poet, and I don't really feel qualified to judge it, but I loved the imagery. I particularly loved two lines "Pretzel-crossed he was" which immediately brought a sharp image to my mind and "His body flopped fishy" which made me smile. It isn't an easy read and I had to go over it several times to try to understand everything that was going on. To be honest, I'm still not entirely sure why he survived in the end (or why he was covered in dust if he'd been ejected from the river).

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Well if you were honest, I would like you to be equally skeptical of how he didn’t drown and how the meeting couldn’t happen in a river since he was able to tear up... in a flowy river. So I wanted to make a crude mocking remark that he wasn’t really in the river, especially when the river itself can eject a person out wholesale. After all, we don’t question the high spirits and what they do to teach people they look after. That or I just wanted to be eggregiously Surrealistic without making one peep of it.

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Okay, cool!

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Took that whole haiku sequence totally differently! I interpreted the poem to refer to his reflection being captured, sucked in, then ejected -- a metaphor for the "self" he hates, now a corpse.

"Sit down along the river bank and wait, sooner or later you will see the corpse of your enemy pass"

His enemy is his own shame. Shame of what, I'm unsure...

That was my interpretation of @theironfelix's poem. Like all art, its meaning reflects more on the observer than the artist.

UwU ~ For yer interpretation of my FTS ending. And sometimes, it doesn't take a good eye to know each word matters and see how slippery things are (liken that to a river) with emotions.
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