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RE: From "Ragnarok Conspiracy"; Part One, Chapter 6 (draft)

in #flashfiction7 years ago

Matatu's chest inflated a bit, he balled his fists started quickly striding towards Pete.

Matatu's chest inflated a bit, he balled his fists , and started quickly striding towards Pete.

In your corner Matatu, Until I give the sign! And Gottschalk, stop that shit right now!

Two possible ways to correct it:

  1. "In your corner, Matatu, until I give the sign! And Gottschalk, stop that shit right now!"
  2. "In your corner, Matatu! Until I give the sign! And Gottschalk, stop that shit right now!"

Finally, I must point out (as usual) the utter lack of quotation marks around spoken parts throughout the text.