When I was living in Winchester, Virginia there was this Thai restaurant called Chopsticks. I had never eaten Thai food before. You tell them on a scale from 1-10 how spicy you want your food to be.
- First Visit: Back in Pennsylvania we'd frequent the Fortune Buffet a lot, and they have the best lo mein noodles ever. So during my first visit to Chopsticks I was eager to get lo mein noodles, but I was convinced to try pad thai noodles for the first time instead.
I got a 6. My entire mouth was burning. I am a disgrace.
- Second Visit: I got pad thai noodles again because they're delicious. I ordered a 5 this time (playing it safe).
I wasn't impressed. It wasn't nearly spicy enough. No my name isn't Goldilocks.
- Third Visit: At this point I'm saying "fuck it" in my head. GIVE ME A 7.
This was good. It wasn't too spicy. It burned my mouth a little, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't live for that. I love spicy food.
My body has obviously adjusted to how spicy Thai food is at this point. I need to push my boundaries.
Last Visit: At this point I consider myself a Thai food veteran. I unapologetically order an 8.
It is delicious. Literally the best thing I've ever eaten.
I had no idea that explosive diarrhea would ensue for days afterwards.
Yes, it was worth it.
There's no Thai restaurants near my home in Pennsylvania. If I ever get to visit Chopsticks again I'm ordering a 10.
I'll worry about the consequences when the time comes.
