3)It looks fucking delicious!
Anything that looks good can't be bad to eat right? First the taste will be extremely bitter, then you will start to feel nauseated. Chances are that you will want to vomit before you even swallow. However, that's only if the pod doesn't get lodged in your throat first.
2)You'll prove to everybody your not a bitch
No better way to show everyone you're not a punk than eating a tide pod. You'll gain popularity as the genius who ate laundry detergent. There's no shame in that. Next time your friend comes to you bragging about how they earned their nerd award just say, yea but I ate a tide pod bitch.
1)You'll be purging the gene pool!
Ever feel like there are too many idiots in the world? Eating a tide pod would immediately solve this problem.
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