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What did the painter say to the wall?
One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!

Credit: reddit
$LOLZ on behalf of thedoc07

(2/4)
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!LOLZ
!BEER
!PIZZA
!INDEED

What do you call a guy who’s had too much to drink?
A cab.

Credit: marshmellowman
$LOLZ on behalf of vote-com

(6/10)
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