At the weekend the good lady and I were visiting friends who had just spawned another human into the world. There was much ooh'ing and ahh'ing at the new child from the respective ladies at the gathering. The guys, however, were clustered around a very different kind of baby.
Mr C, the new Father, stood before us and caressed the black object in his hand.
Arrived last night. It's amazing.
Oooooh
Said the guys gathered around him.
It's beautiful.
Said one.
Really gorgeous.
Said another.
Can we... Can we get a shot?
Said I.
Mr C nodded like an old-time barber selling gentleman's delights from under the counter.
Of course you can. Just let me boot up the old bad boy.
He leaned over and switched on his PC. It started to whirr and make diddit diddit noises as the booting up ritual commenced. We all clustered around excitedly, waiting for the magic to happen.
Daddy, can you take your son a second? I want to hold the baby.
Called my good lady from the other side of the room where the ladies were clustered around the newly born baby. Dash it. Mr C's PC had just booted up and he was now navigating to his games folder.
He held out the big black goggly device.
Who wants to go first?
I looked longingly at the outstretched VR set. It was an Oculus Rift, I had been hearing so much about them lately. I desperately wanted to go first. I opened my mouth to shout firsties but just then the good lady called me again from the other side of the room. This time a little more sternly.
Coming.
I grunted, grudgingly.
I went over to her and took our son from her. She was passed the newborn and gazed at him with that heady mix of love and stupidity that some people get when they look at newly born babies. I jostled our own child, the little boom, in my arms trying not to be too obvious as I stared across the room enviously at the guys who were now yelping and cheering as they took turns on the VR headset.
The good lady looked up at me, her face flushed with hormones and madness. Most likely from the smell of new baby in her arms.
Would you like a turn?
She asked. A strange look of befuddlement and joy on her face.
I almost jumped for joy. Aw, would I! Yeah. I have been dying to try VR for ages. I thought I was going to miss my chance as well but no, the good lady has come through.
I would love a turn!
I squeaked out, hopping from foot to foot.
The good lady leaned over and took our son in one arm and with the other passed me the newborn.
Erm, whatcha doing?
Said I, itching to get to the other side of the room where the real action was happening.
I thought you wanted a turn?
Replied the good lady innocently. Too innocently.
I grumbled. Looks like I had been foiled again. Oh well. I rocked the baby for the pre-requisite amount of time so as not to offend the new parents and then handed the little blighter back. This was it. Time to get all VR! I headed over to join the guys.
Daddy? We will have to go now. The little boom is tired.
I stopped in my tracks. Torn between playing some Alien killing VR game with the guys and being a responsible parent. With a heavy sigh, I helped gather the stuff and we headed off.
I was a little quiet in the car. As we pulled up outside our house the good lady looked at me.
I saw the way you were acting back there... You want one, don't you?
She said with a knowing smile.
My heart skipped a beat. Was I so transparent? Had she seen right through to my shallow heart? I would love a VR headset. Oh my goodness me. This was amazing! Sometimes I and the good lady seemed to be so connected it was quite unbelievable.
I do actually. Should we?
This was it. VR time for Boomy!!
The good lady made a serious face.
It's quite the commitment, I don't know if we should rush into it?
Commitment? What was she talking about? Had she been sniffing glue?
Not really lass, I just need to buy a better graphics card for the PC. That's about it.
The good lady barked out a laugh.
Ha! I meant a baby. Not that silly computer game thing the guys were all playing!!
She laughed like an ostrich in a communal shower. I made a humphing noise and silently discarded my VR dreams. One day perhaps, I promised myself... One day...
What about you? Have you ever been the subject of some terribly crossed wires? Does your partner tease the living daylights out of you??
Tell us your best tales in the comments. I will be there to listen!
Authored by: @meesterboom
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The most interesting thing which I saw in the story is your way of writing and describing the situation which was going on.... Really enjoyed.
Ohhh, boy. Do I remember. There she stands with a newborn in arm. Smells of talcum and something undefined. Loopy grin on her face. I remember well.
The good news? Babies hardly ever happen all at once and the practicing for pregnancy has a decided upside. The hormonal flush seems to have a positive effect on headache and tiredness. I wonder why medical science hasn't synthesized that for daily use?
Thanks for another great post!
Lol, well yes there are done definite advantages! Cheers!
Bahahahaha That is awesome... It’s all about the baby and from the moment you were whisked away from the VR that dream was dead. That’s the thing with our male brain. We are still fixated on the want we are missing out on, we can’t focus on what is right there in front of us. Just be thankful you mentioned the graphics card. Might have been planning a conception yiubwerent ready for. Lol
Hehe, it was exactly so. I would never have time so it is a total pipe dream but couldn't take my eyes off it!!!
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Nice ..
Your writing method is wonderful and fun
Great post from you, well done
Thanks for sharing
Bwahahaha, that is one funny story.
Cheers :0)
The incident happened with you. Whenever you called the good lady from the other side of the room with the women's disguise around the newborn baby. If I had been in your place for this event to shake the jugata body then I would cry a lot for you, I think, for your child, thank you, thank you
It is very scary to read the incident that read the post, when you look at the VR set in the long-term with you. If there is more fear in the post I would have been in your place if you would have been thanked @adsactly
When I was then but had to think of steam this
great post ...☺
Interesting post
follow n vote thanks
Kind of spammy
I love adsactly....🙂
Compelling, Beautiful and superb.
This was written with such a strong imagination
Splendid! Thank you!
hahahaha .this is good ,showing some one and give her a favor what she want to know @adsactly sir nice writing skills
Fun is fun. It's beautiful.
Liiiiiiik 👏
What a wonderful ,useful,beautiful and informative post which I seen ever on steemit.such a beautiful post.i like it v v v v very much.
These words intrigue and fascinate me. Especially the small ones that look like seagulls v v v v I thank you for them
Funny and embarrassing in the same time. :)
Perfect example how women don't understand men at all! I am a woman and I have learned, whatever I assume about men is not correct, so I stopped making any conclusion and letting them to express clearly what they want or think. As we are different by nature and that makes life interesting, or frustrating for some. :)
Namaste.
Thanks for my morning laugh.
I like your contribution but also the way I develop the content and the way you edit each image, I always follow you to learn every day ... thank you brother keeps it up,
La diferencia es notoria entre el cerebro de una mujer y a lo valora más que el cerebro de un hombre, claro que queremos a nuestros hijos y los queremos mucho, eso no está en duda, pero como nos atrae un artilugio electrónico, hasta el extremo de hacernos soñar, diría más bien hacernos babear. Y que estemos hablando un hombre y una mujer y no nos estemos comunicando es frecuente, nuestros lentes ven el mundo de colores diferentes.
The difference is notorious between a woman's brain and it values it more than the brain of a man, of course we love our children and we love them very much, that is not in doubt, but as an electronic device attracts us, to the extreme of make us dream, I'd rather make us drool. And that we are talking a man and a woman and we are not communicating is frequent, our lenses see the world of different colors.
Interesante, de la gran imaginación o fantasia virtual, tienes que volver a la realidad. Buen Post.
well, ya stepped into that with both feet, didn't you? then, the fun is in the making, it's the result that causes the pain, strain and a fried tired brain! I was trying to think of something dumbass I did, because there have been many in 39 years of 'wedded bliss', but I'll be dayumed if I can remember one to try and top yours...