PART TWO DON'T DO IT! Why Buying An Exotic Animal Will Not Save Your Marriage

in #funny7 years ago

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At first things seemed all hunky dory when we took home this little bundle of joy.

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I asked my wife what we should call him.

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"Well I always dreamed of having a son and calling him Tristan."

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I was well aware that she wanted a beautiful boy named Tristan. She even changed the password on the email account we share to "Tristan" and would talk endlessly about that name when we were trying to have a baby.

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She went to all the trouble to paint our spare room baby blue for the day when we would be pregnant and young Tristan was on his way.

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Sadly I was never able to give her the boy she wanted due to my... problem

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"Tristan it is," I said

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The next few weeks were a joy. I never knew I was capable of loving another creature the way I loved young Tristan.

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And my wife was proud. At work she would regale her co-workers with stories of our little boy. "Tristan chipped his first claw today," she would say. She was so proud to be a mother.

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We would take long trips to the store to buy crickets and toys for the cold blooded tot. It was a dream.

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But after a couple of months, the honeymoon was over. Pretty soon Tristan began to be a headache.

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It was really hard to get enough sleep with such a demanding lizard.

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He needed wrangling.

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At first my wife and I tried to share the wrangling duties to attempt to get some shut eye.

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Sometimes we would have to let him sleep in the bed with us when he wouldn't get to sleep.

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All of this was beginning to take a toll on me.

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It was effecting my performance at work and my boss was upset.

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"You were supposed to send that spreadsheet to me two weeks ago. One more slip up and you'll be summarily dismissed"

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What's more, my wife's nursing job often required her to work the graveyard shift, forcing me to handle wrangling responsibilities all alone.

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Tristan was getting bigger.

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And his constant appetite for more and more bugs took a toll on my wallet.

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He was also getting stronger.

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As time went by it became abundantly clear that I wasn't strong enough to wrangle him.

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Needless to say this was taking a toll on our marriage.

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"Why can't you wrangle him!" My wife would scream.

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"I can't, I said". "I'm not strong enough.

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"Fine!" She said "We'll have to hire a wrangler ourselves. Guess we'll have to give up the cable".

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"We'll make sacrifices, honey" I said. "But I know this will work out in the end. Now let's go to bed"

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"No" she replied, cruelly "you'll sleep on the couch tonight".

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The next morning we looked in the yellow pages for a live-in reptile wrangler.

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"Hm, this guy seems good" I said. "Let's give him a shot".

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"G'day mate. You said you are looking for a live-in reptile wrangler. I can start right away. Crickey!"

TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR PART 3

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Vary nice funny photography
Thank you for sharing post

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