“If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you." - Steven Wright
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam!
Bob left work one Friday evening.
But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his friends and spent his entire paycheck.
When he finally showed up at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Yoda lady.
Yoda lady who?
Hey, I didn’t know you could yodel!
“Laughing faces do not mean that there is absence of sorrow! But it means that they have the ability to deal with it.” -- WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
*I am an American novelist, poet, traveler, and crypto-enthusiast. If you’ve enjoyed my work please sign up for my author newsletter at my website. Newsletter subscribers will receive exclusive updates and special offers and your information will never be sold or shared.
Eric Vance Walton - Media
Another funny weekly joke post! All of them made me chuckle this time. Thanks! :D
I'm glad you enjoyed them, @kenny-crane! You're very welcome!
I think I will skip the skydiving as well as bungee jumping!!
Lol! Yeah, I took my chances at bungee jumping but have never parachuted. It's on my list though!
Ouch! hehehe
Glad to see you're still well my friend. I took a little break from Steemit to get some work done. Happy to be back :D
Glad to see you back @handsolo! I hope you're having a good spring, my man!
Thanks my friend. It's not so bad :D
Crypto growth has really been good these last 5 months :D
It has been a very exciting past few months in the crypto-world. It's been hard to lose money actually! Glad you've been well!
Agreed. Long may it continue :D
Definitely! I hope it does.
Hahaha, that quote was priceless and the black eye joke made me LOL!! I just thought of an old one that's a bit longer too, let me see if I can remember it and I'll get back to you ;)
That joke was priceless! I'm still waiting, @dreemit! ; )
Are you talking about the one you put up, or the one I dropped you in chat...LOL ;)
LMFAO! Did you think about this joke by yourself, Eric? :D
No, I can't take credit for writing these. Most are really old jokes.
Nice way to start my day, put a smile on my face. Thank you @ericvancewalton looking forward to your next posts.
So glad you enjoy them! Thanks!
Yuk yuk, thanks for keeping these up, I always enjoy a good chuckle
I'm glad you're still enjoying them, my friend! Tell me when to stop! Lol.
never!! I heard one today -
why did the hipster burn his mouth? he took a sip of coffee when it wasn't cool enough.
I've heard that one, hilarious!!!
I havnt heard that one 35yrs when I was in primary school.
Still a goodie
The yodeling joke?
Lol, the yodel one is my favorite. I'll use that for my siblings. Thanks for the good laughs Eric!
I liked that one too! : ) Thank you @lydon.sipe!
Great stuff. I thought they were all funny.
Love the cleverness of the cheese joke. I can't take credit for it.
Short and simple make the best jokes. Very funny. If my husband disappeared for three days I'd change the locks and make him sleep outside.
That's hilarious!
Another funny group of jokes. I love the yodel one especially.
Thanks! I need to tell that one to my 4 year old nephew.