Job interviews can be filled with a ton of pressure.
Interviews are kind of like working up the guts to walk up and speak to a person in a bar who you find attractive... only 1,000,000 times worse!
If you get turned down in the bar, you may lose a little pride, your buddies might laugh at you a little (or a lot) and you may get slapped. But blowing a job interview has slightly more serious consequences... like not being able to afford to pay for goods and services.
By the way, asking "Do you use Windex on your jeans... because I can see myself in them" does not work in bars or job interviews... or pretty much anywhere in the universe.
Why I never! Windex is bad for the environment you scumbag!
I'm guessing we all have job interview horror stories. To be honest, mine is pretty tame.
I'm very lucky. I don't remember ever really embarrassing myself in any job interviews (whiskey will do that for you). I never really felt like I totally blew any interviews either. Although I didn't get every job, I always felt I had given it my best shot.
But there was one very awkward interview that I will never forget.
Shortly after earning my teaching license, like everyone else, I sent out a ton of resumes. For the jobs I really wanted, I personally dropped off a packet with my resume,letters of reference, a floppy disk (yes it was that long ago) and some samples of my work.
When one of my target high schools called me for an interview, I was thrilled!
Woo Hoo! Maybe I should have asked which school it was. D'oh!
Thirty seconds into the interview, I figured out that I was not going to "click" with the head of the Special Education department. She was twice my age (putting her at around 54... which I now realize is super young! Come on!) and a bit stiff. I'm kind of a goofball (big surprise) so I knew I might be in trouble.
This was confirmed when, right in the middle of the interview, she said four of my least favorite words in the English language:
"Let's do some role-playing."
Not that kind of role playing! Get your head out of the gutter!
I despise role-playing in classes, in-services and especially job interviews. I find this technique so fake, forced, and utterly useless.
I should have immediately picked up and left ... but I really wanted this job.
This 54 year old woman, dressed in an expensive business suit, proceeded to run her fingers through her hair in an attempt to mess up her perfectly hair-sprayed mane and said, "Pretend I'm a student refusing to work. Get me to work." She then proceeded to flop her head onto her very large and pricey desk.
I waited to see if she was kidding.
She was not.
I asked, "What is the student's name?" She did not respond. She was already too far into character. I tried to call a "time-out" and explained that if this were a real situation, I would have taken the time to learn things about the student such as her name, her interests, who her friends were, if she has any siblings, how she gets along with her parents, what motivates her, etc. You know... regular human being stuff.
The time-out was not awarded.
As I sat there stunned, I glanced over and noticed her name placard was followed by the initials P.H.D. As I looked back and forth between that placard and the top of her messy, gray hair covered head (which was still slumped on her desk), I had an epiphany. This woman and I were not going to get along.
I no longer even wanted this job. I figured since this was a fantasy, there were no rules.
I took a breath and responded, "Oh what do we have here? A leprechaun just rode in on a unicorn and sprinkled magic pixie dust that caused you to be inspired to do your work!"
Do you think this was designed to be creepy or it just happened naturally?
Doctor Whatsherface looked up.
I asked, "Did I get the job?"
No. No I did not.
Tell me honestly: have you ever worked with cabbage?
LOL. LOL. LOL. This is so weird!
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess, as I have never had a bad job interview.
In fact, I had very few job interviews.
I had only four jobs in my life:
Wow! That is amazing! Did you learn software engineering while in the navy? I'm guessing you are really good at your job.
In the French Navy, my specialty was radar, electronic warfare and computer. But I never studied software engineering; I learned most of it by myself and on the job, with a few short classes from time to time.
That is really impressive. I would love to be able to tell my kids I was a master of "electronic warfare". Although they would probably just think I meant in video games. ;)
My grandchildren are way better than me in video games!
Your post reminded me of this Pepsi commercial. Cracked me up.
I have never seen this one. This was really funny! Perfect for this post. thanks for sharing it.
I once mistakenly applied for a college I found out later to be an all girl's school. They sent me a very polite letter turning me down, but I can only imagine what they were thinking at the time.
That's hilarious! Better to find out during the interview process than the first day of class!
Straight out of college I applied for a software development job. Get an interview and head in. The guy interviewing was really friendly, we got on great. Until the questions. Have you swapped out a processor. What is the bus speed for a blah blah. Something something data driven controller.
I stopped him at one point and said, it's a software developer? Why the hardware questions. He gave me what can only be described as a serial killer look and said
I ask the questions. Not you
I left.
Wow good for you man. You asked the most important question in that interview. Can you imagine what it would have been like to work for that guy? I think you may have dodged a bullet!
I think I definitely did, he was so nice seeming up till then!! Thankfully every interview since had been good. Well, as good as an interview can be!
LOL, fair points though and good on ya hahaha
Put up a little something about my life and real estate today if you want to have a look.
One time I applied for a hotshots job and I had no experience in fighting forest fires. I sounded like an idiot applying for a job that required knowledge and expertise in fighting forest fires. I still want to drive firetrucks or forestry trucks.
That is awesome! Just tell people the interview happened when you were 8 years old and it becomes the funniest story ever!
I think we should start a Steemit movement to help you get those jobs.
Plus, forget the toy trucks, your kids can ride around on real ones with you, which is a life bonus.
Unfortunately I have not really had any funny job interviews
When I hear stories about other people's experiences
I do feel I wish I had a funny interview story to tell
I had never seen this one. They are brilliant! Maybe its better not to have an interview hour story. Sharing tis though was a great contribution!
I love Key & Peele
I once applied for a customer service position at a tech startup in Lagos and was asked to tell a story in six words. I went blank. I was given an example and asked to come up with a different one and I still couldn't!
As a writer, this was particularly embarrassing!
I'd go with "This job interview technique really sucks!'
I wouldn't be embarrassed. That is a really bad question.
Haha! Awesome reply!
When something is that annoying to me, I tend to express myself by being silent. If only I could come up with these replies 😀
I think your silence spoke volumes. ;)
the best post.
Congrats, @hanshotfirst! Good post. Thank you!
@hanshotfirst
Often it is assumed that the one offering the job holds all the power and can come up with all kinds of tests and hoops you should jump through. People forget that also often the one offering a job is desperate to find the right person to do the job (although that may not be you). Sometimes you should reverse roles, I do that in my business sometimes. Not everyone is your customer (or employee, employer). The "worst" I've encountered are the bad representatives of temporary help agencies where I've worked for in the past. They're often dumb, have no significant skills, are arrogant and somehow you're expected to appease them? Maybe not...
How many funny things were in here? Too many.
Right from the Windex comment to ..... " too far into character" - great stuff man.
I've been self employed a long time as you know but every real estate lead and client is basically a job interview.
Actually relates to your post.....
Put up a little something about my life and real estate today if you want to have a look.
Have a great week man.
great work! :)
Funny recount of a very strange interview. Never even thought about role playing for a situation like that especially without any background information on this imaginary student!
I too am one of the lucky ones, I've never had a bad interview, and any interview I had I gotten the job. Excluding the highly sought after rare and praised Fast Food joints post-university graduation lol I was able to land being a Hotel Assistant Manager after promotion as a hotel desk clerk, become A Sound Engineer/Production Technician, & a Project Stage Manager/AV Tech for a nonprofit org for the world's biggest poetry slam competitions amongst young teens and adults reigning in national teams from various countries around the world.
But now that I'm in Germany, and just getting a hold of the language at the bare basics, I'm looking forward to some awkward, misunderstood interviews in my new language of choice :) I don't think my personality can translate well through a language I have yet to be fluent in, but I'll keep my hopes high and my smile ever ready when I hear "NEIN, Gehen Sie Jetzt Raus!" = No, Get Out Now! haha
Can you believe I am just now learning about steem voter? Is it wrong for me to be super excited about it? lol. I get so frustrated when I miss someone's post in the payout period, then I generally want to comment but feel like a jerk because I'm late. This totally eliminates that problem! I know I have to be careful about how many people I put on there if I want my voting power to remain reasonable, do you have any insights on that for me? You're solidly on the list, so I can ask you, lol ;)