Greetings loyal followers.
My executive assistant Vera, who has never let anyone down (even during the peak of traffic), has informed me that one of your greatest inhabitants @thecryptofiend has sent a transmission chronicaling a problem being experienced by one of your planet's financial exchanges.
If everyone would simply keep their currency in one of these, they would be fine.
I assure you that once your planet adopts Galactic Credits as your official currency, you will never have these problems again.
Speaking of which... since 2014, I have been in "negotiations" with a digital currency exchange known as Poloniex in order to convince them to include Galactic Credits on their exchange. In my timeline, I have only been communicating with them for a few days. However, due to your unsophisticated technology, it seems like years from your moronic point of view. It is stupid I know... but that is on you and your feeble technicians.
A big part of the negotiations was getting rid of all of these green lightsabers. There should be only red lightsabers and they should be huge! And red should now be the color for AWESOME!
Although I could have simply forced them to include Galactic Credits, every once and I while, I like to have a little fun and pretend to be as weak as everyone else. It makes me laugh to play the role of a plebe like all of you.
Anyway, I finally had Poloniex right where I wanted them. I was about to close the deal...
And then it happened.
My freaking imbecilic, putrid, decrepit old boss stuck his puke-inducing nose into it.
As always, I had things 100% under control. Things were going great.
And as always he ruined it.
Kind of like when my marriage and the impending birth of my two children were going great… until he ruined it.
Yes. Yes you tricked me into murdering my wife. So yes you "did do that". Stupid bastard!
My boss is very similar to the inhabitant who epitomizes your people more perfectly than any other whom I have seen in the documentaries we have intercepted.
Even this numbskull would be smart enough to prevent the destruction of two gigantic and insanely expensive battle stations.
Back to the latest example of my boss royally screwing things up.
In this case, I was at my computer terminal kicking butt like a boss and getting ready to close the deal when he shuffled over.
“What are you doing Lord Vader?”, he asked in his ridiculously laughable voice that sounds like he has just gargled with a bag of sand he found in a Tusken Raider's sweat-drenched underwear (because he has).
Without waiting for a response, he said, “Allow me”.
Apparently in disgusting prune face language, “Allow me” translates to “Stand back while I F this up so bad that no one could possibly fix it”.
Then he did what he always does.
He F’ed things up so bad that no one could possibly fix it.
This idiot used lightning on a computer. Do you know what lightning is? Static electricity! Do you know what static electricity does to computers? Well my freaking idiot boss clearly doesn't! He claimed he was trying to help... but this what he was really thinking.
The worst part is, there was no need for him to try and do this wirelessly.
Look at his throne!
Do you see those buttons there?
Do you know what those buttons do?
They interface with the computers directly from his seat!
The one freaking time the lazy ass actually decides to lift his fragile old bones out of his throne… and he takes down an entire financial exchange.
To quote another of your great philosophers...
Here is what Poloniex looked like after he was finished putting his stamp of crappiness on the job.
Do you know when the last time he said “Allow me” was?
It was right when I was about to install a cover on this mother loving gaping hole!
We all know how well this turned out.
I will do my best to keep him away from the other nice things that your planet has. Actually you only have one other nice thing... Steemit. I will keep him away as long as I can.
But I can't make any promises.
You better install some kind of cover to keep him out.
Good luck with that.
Bank of vader
Polonot
Moron 1
Moron 2
More static guard please
Don't bother me. I'm on the throne!
Philosopher
It's broken. It's broken mom. It's broken.
Allow me... to F this up real good!
I think it is about time we have a Vader Coin
I agree. This paper currency is annoying.
BUY Crypto, SELL the US toilet paper dollar!
The dollar will begin its 18 year cycle with a 9 year downturn period to the eurocurrencies as it always has done. This will probably be very bullish for precious metals as well.
Check out this post for more on the cycles of weakening US dollar and the current state of the dollar.
https://steemit.com/dollar/@sjovmaiin/the-coming-fall-of-the-us-dollar
You are quite funny and amusing, I haven't watched stars wars till now, But If it is anything like what your posts are, I am definitely going to watch all parts of it. Keep doing this, maybe One day you will become famous and someone will call you to direct the next movie. Followed and upvoted. Keep doing this. @lordvader
Those documentaries are rather biased. They show the scumbag rebels as some kind of heroes. I still recommend you view them, but remember they are pro-rebel propaganda.
I always thought of them as kids movie, but by seeing the popularity of them here, and after your recommendation, I would definitely see them.
Episode IV and VI of the series are very good. Episode V is one of the greatest triumphs ever. I am so awesome in it.
Okay, I will see it.
Oh @lordvader your musings keep the galaxy spinning
You're welcome.
Don't disturb this kattie ! while exchanging the currency :D
Still better than my boss.
Hahaha..
This image is obviously redundant, since you wrote this amazing post yourself, but you may find it useful in the future. It was buried in my computer archives from an unknown source long ago. perhaps it remains useful nonetheless.
Thank you for your contribution to the Empire.
Thank you for your service in anti-Ewok activities.
I think the Chinese stock exchange has red lightsabres meaning awesome and green lightsabres meaning poopy :)
Yes. Green light sabers are poopy. So are those who wield them.
haha...
LOL @trafalgar
Well I am now enlightened! I knew it!!
You're welcome.
"Trade on Polo you try? DO or DO not. There is no try." -CryptoYoda
It seems that currently there is no "Do".
But leave it to that putrid little frog to confuse everyone.
Damn! I knew it!
The moron could screw up a one ship funeral procession... and he has!
Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.
Thank you for helping to spread this essential information.
@lordvader, Can you do us a favor and tell your boss you're working on a Ripple project? They could use some force lightning.
Only if you want it really F'ed up. He sucks so bad at EVERYTHING!
Do you know if your boss has a brother?
With blond hair and an ego bigger then a battle station? I think I saw that guy recently several times here on earth, Trumpeting how great he is at everything he does.
Those two are awfully similar.
That sounds like a horrible person. And very foolish. Everyone knows I am the greatest at everything.
Is your boss related to Trump? Both have mistaken ideas about their competence.
I can't imagine there is another being in the universe like him. No one could be as arrogant as he is even though he is absolutely terrible.
You better install some kind of cover to keep him out.很好，我喜欢
I agree.
It has been not good at Poloniex m'Lord.
As @clayboyn said on my page this week, they were good til they weren't!
--
In other related new, I took to the Twitter and posted this written by whaley type here @htooms the other day and tagged Poloniex in this, I wonder if I will get flagged...
steemit.com/hack/@htooms/m…
Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.
Yes after my boss was through with them... they were through.
I know it will be warm around the Campfire m'Lord but.....
--
Oh and a reminder..... this is weekend #3 of the
#SteemitCampfire
series, it runs all weekend long from Fri-Sun nite, every weekend on my page on ONE post.
I hope you will stop by, remind a few people w that # today to come too...... It is fun!!!
Reminder post is up every Friday afternoon, it is up now, then the main #SteemitCampfire post goes up to start it around 7 pm or so, EST Friday nites, and that is the post we gather at....
Ugh! That guy is such an idiot!
@shayne
Yes. He's horrible. Possibly the stupidest being who ever lived. Although I do believe there is a powerful person on your planet who is giving him a run for his money.
And they do deserve your wrath :D
They will surely get it!
How did you find it out? :)
@thecryptofiend informed me and many others.
Even his laugh makes me want to puke.
My sister looks like darth vader 😂
They she must be the 2nd most attractive being in the universe.
Hahaha mate
Vader coin please!!!!!!!
I agree. That would solve all of your planet's problems.
Bank of Vader - Tatooine perhaps ? Woohoo Tatooine .. Urkel, that's just even more annoying than Darth Sidious !
The Galactic coin will be there, resistance is futile.
You are very wise.