Greetings loyal followers.
My executive assistant Vera, who could never be a bridesmaid because she would upstage any bride, has informed me that one of your inhabitants has had the gaul to make some false and unsubstantiated claims (I realize that both of those words basically mean the same thing... but that is how serious I am about this) about me.
In a recent transmission entitled I Married Darth Vader, @hopehuggs made the ridiculous claim that she and I had been married.
There is absolutely no truth to this statement.
However, if I were to marry someone, she is correct that Ewok eyes would be on the reception dinner menu.
I believe @hopehuggs may be attempting to exploit the fact that, as a form of entertainment for myself, I have been involved in several weddings on your planet.
I believe one of which occurred on New Year's Eve.
I love you cement. Will you marry me?
At least one other (possibly two) occurred during the lost month I spent with this guy...
I did not marry this inhabitant... but I would have been willing to marry the delicious Funyuns he provided.
There is video evidence of these nuptials. But before we examine that evidence, here is a picture of the woman claiming to be my bride...
Although this is a lovely woman, she is not one of my many brides.
Although your people are very primitive in their mastery of technology, somehow you created something called "photoshop" that will allow you to alter visual data. Clearly the jewel of your technological achievements has been employed to help @hopehuggs attempt to pull off this elaborate ruse.
Please study the image so you can compare it to the actual female inhabitants I have wed.
Can you find the other females in the audience who wish they were the one marrying me? I'll give you a hint. They are the ones who have eyes.
There was also this lovely bride who could not resist my power... no one really can.
Actually, this is an "after" picture. The princess made a wish that when she kissed her husband, he would transform into the smartest, richest, most powerful and most awesome being ever. Clearly it worked.
Here is yet another lucky lady who became my spouse after I took her furniture shopping one day.
Because I am famous, she let me marry her. Just like that. When you are a star, they let you do that.
If I were ever going to feel bad (which I never will) it would be about this one. This lovely woman was really into me. But I was not honest about why I accepted her proposal.
See that sweet bike in the background? That is why I said yes. Her dad offered me that bike as a dowry. You say "no" to that. Can you imagine the radical Can-can or Tri-star I could do on that?
I have absolutely no memory of this one...
I must have dressed like that because I was promised some Funyuns. That is the only explanation. Those taste sooooo good when you are hanging out with that hilarious and wonderful smelling guy I spent that month with.
So @hopehuggs, I am sorry for adding yours to the incredibly long list of hearts I have broken, but as you can see from the evidence above, we were never married.
By the way, from time to time, as another form of entertainment, I have performed some weddings.
I bet you can guess what I did with those hands immediately after this image was produced.
I can't remember if I married both of these people or married both of these people.
My head is a little fuzzy. Did I ask them the questions or did I answer the questions?
For those of you who I have joined in legal matrimony, I have a little secret for you.
I believe someone in the following image may have figured it out.
The guy on the right clearly knows something is not quite right.
I have no legal jurisdiction on your planet... yet. Surprise! None of you are legally married!
I will remedy this when I arrive.
Then I will destroy you.
Dad jokes are funny
"Happy" New Year
Sith and juice
Photoshop will you marry me?
Here comes the groom
Wishes do come true
One second you are furniture shopping...
Sweet bike
Now give me the Funyuns!
What lovely hands...
Confusion
Surprise!
I sincerely apologise Lord Vader, he must have been a poor imitation.
It is understandable. Everyone would want it to be true.
ohh ! you gonna love this !!! you should include a mask like that
This is indeed interesting. it seems to fit the message of this transmission.
https://steemit.com/funny/@lordvader/you-re-really-funny
Haha, truly awesome post my Lord
The force is strong in this one, you had me chuckling (if you meant it to be humor - if not I found it in no way funny -honest guv)
That is an excellent response. I appreciate that you will react any way that I want you to react. Perfect. You get it. I will allow you to laugh.
Phew, you had me sweating there for a while. You are most gracious my Lord
Yes. Yes I am.
I think it is probably a significant hazard for someone in your position to get groupies and even stalkers.
As a leader of your community, I know you face the same hazards. When I arrive, we will unite our power to rule your world. Until I decide to destroy it.
Yes sadly it does happen.
Thank you my Lord. I look forward to it.
My arrival? Our combined power? Or the destruction of the world?
Any answer is correct. Just seeking clarification.
All of the above and anything else you wish to do as I am always your respectful and loyal servant. My greatest wish is to be able to learn the ways of the dark side directly from you.
This post lol, you really made me laugh especially this part
Yes it was rather confusing.
Yes but not all of your weddings went so well....
It would have gone fine if either of those troopers were able to shoot the guy.
Very entertaining!
Yes. Your people are very entertaining.
''your people are very entertaining''
Lol XD
hahahaha followed and upvoted my friend
You are very wise.
haha great post again lordvader
I actually think your theme song playing while a couple is walking down the aisle is quite apposite considering how most of them end
Yes that song plays everywhere I go. I'm kind of a big deal.
I will be following just because I like the way you do things. I am ready to do the bidding of the dark side...
It is people like you who might actually save your planet from being vaporized.
Thank you, my Lord. But Earth is already a cesspit of depravity, anger and greed. Why vaporise it?
Reminds me of this Cantina in Mos Eisley...
these always give me a good laugh
Your inhabitants do so many funny things.
haha funny sharing my lord
May the force be with the bride
The Force is always with the bride.
Will you marry me? I'll bring the ewoks
The second part of your proposal has me thinking.
Why isn't he whining?
Some on linkedin is claiming to be Galen...he put in an application at Technion U to work on Death Star defense systems. I think it's just a hoax to keep you on your toes!
Thank you for the intel. I will now destroy all of linkedin. I have meaning to ever since messages from them kept piling up in my in box.
You are awesome! What a great post! :D
Thank you. I like your name... but it is insignificant compared to the power of the Force.
Even the Force needs 'firepower' to make an impact! Just that it has a great amount of it! :D
Thank you for brightening a rather grey Monday morning.
Followed and voted and looking forward to seeing more of your humour in my feed :)
How wise are you to take part in our festivities in order to learn our ways then destroy it from the inside. I see your method and shall not forget it. I'm watching you... nonetheless I support you in the meantime with upvotes and a follow.
You are very wise.
Hahaha, that was weird and funny at the same time! :)
You are correct, your planet is weird and funny.
Hahaha btw I FOLLOW YOU NOW, WANNA FOLLOW ME BACK? I POST ALL SORT OF STUFF! CHEERS
nice....your post deserve my upvote and resteem....
Quite a trilogy
Thank you.
@lordvader I love the Darth Vader touch haha XD! If you get the chance, can you upvote my newest post where I teach you how to $20/Day on Steemit? :) Thanks! https://steemit.com/steemit/@parkermorris/how-to-make-usd20-day-on-steemit-with-no-money Love it! :) Those are good posts! If you get the chance, can you upvote my newest post where I teach you how to $20/Day on Steemit? :) Thanks! https://steemit.com/steemit/@parkermorris/how-to-make-usd20-day-on-steemit-with-no-money
Wow nice dress!
I think there may be something wrong with my recover again. Dennis! Get in here!
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