A Guide to How to Treat Women Co-Works In a Post Harvey Weinstein World

in #funny7 years ago

From Harvey Weinstein to James Toback to Bill O'Reilly and half the men working at Fox News, It seems now a days you can't help put see stories of sexual harassment popping up in your news feed now a days. If your a man of power wither it be a Hollywood executive, CEO, politician or an assistant manager at Piggly Wiggly you maybe wondering how you are supposed to treat women in this crazy new social climate.


photo from dailymail.co.uk

Don't worry with this guide we can help you, if not act like you see woman as human at least lower the number of sexual assault cases thrown at you per year.

GREETING

How do you greet a female co-worker. Well as legendary filmmaker Woody Allen worries we maybe entering a time where "every guy in an office who winks at a woman is suddenly having to call a lawyer to defend himself,” the typical greeting of winking and saying Hey toots! is no longer acceptable.

Instead try not to wink and say things like "Hi" "Good Morning" or "Good Afternoon."

"What if I accidently wink" you ask? Well the best think to do is rub your eyes and act like you got something in them.

When greeting someone for the first time It is customer to give the person you are meeting a firm handshake. This is try when you at meeting a woman just as it is when you are meeting a man. So when greeting a woman for the first time don't fear reaching out you hand and shaking theirs* and say Hi, I'm YOUR Name. NIce to meet you.

*Plus not make sure you grab their hand and not say their buttocks or breast. Well you may want to give those a firm handshake I assure you doing so could lead to legal problems.

E-MAIL
From time to time one has to send emails to co-workers. But sometimes that co-worker is a woman. If so what do you send them. Well that simple pretty much the same thing you would send a male co-worker things like emails where you see when a good time and place to meet or report.

But what ever you do, do not send dick pics. we repeat DO NOT SEND DICK PICS

MEETINGS

Often one has to meet with co-workers in small group setting or one on one. The later is something that gotten Harvey Weinstein in a lot of hot water.

photo from time magazine

how not to end up like Harvey. Will first make sure your meeting is only about business and don't use this meeting as an attempt to sleep with your female co-work. Yes even if she is hot.

WHERE TO MEET

Good places to meet are your office, a coffee shop or restaurant.

Bad places to meet if you don't think you can control yourself are in your hotel room. In your bedroom (no matter what the silk song says)

As stated earlier the meeting should focus on business. Don't make it sexual.

You maybe wondering would masturbating count as sexual? The answer is yes very much, unless it will lower company cost or increase next quarter's profits. If so we suggest you do that in front of Todd from accounting. If you don't feel comfortable doing that in front of Todd from accounting then odds are it wont improve the bottom line and so keep it in you pants.

Sort:  

The @OriginalWorks bot has determined this post by @mar10 to be original material and upvoted it!

ezgif.com-resize.gif

To call @OriginalWorks, simply reply to any post with @originalworks or !originalworks in your message!