Surviving your first day of work: Everything you need to know to have a great first day!

in #funny7 years ago

Everyone goes through it, your first job. Whether it be in high school or your first real job out of college everyone has this experience. At first its weird when you are thrown into a place where some people have been working together for 30 years. Then there is you. 23 fresh out of college with out a care in the world, you are confident but not sure how or what the real world is like. Today I am going to tell you how to survive on this first day of your knew journey.

Avoid "that guy" or better yet being "that guy"

In every work place whether it be your highschool job or " big boy" job there is always " that guy". This particular person needs no explanation as everyone should know who I'm talking about. But for those who don't here's who he is. This guy is the one who tries to be your best friend when clearly he knows you want nothing to do with him, hes the guy who is always up in everyone's business or to put it simple its the guy everyone else tells you to avoid. Now you may be asking how does one avoid being that guy? It must be pretty hard avoiding being judged and labeled on your first day of work you may just well have everyone watching your every move, including Becky from accounting. Now I'm going to try and be as serious as possible while still trying to hold up some humor while explaining this but its simple. Don't be a douche and suck your bosses dick ( its a metaphor you know what I mean). That's it, that's how you avoid being that guy and avoid the guy who is currently
" that guy".

Avoid water cooler talk

Everyone knows what this is, the water cooler. AKA where Becky from accounting talks shit about everyone including her no good for nothing piece of shit ( but sweet and adorable ) best friend Beth. This is one of the main spots to avoid again it is where all the gossipers congregate, it is where every rumor you hear comes from. Now I'm not saying avoid the water cooler all together I mean a mans gotta get a drink, right? Just avoid being talking to " those people"
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Try and talk to everyone in your department


This part isn't so funny, but serious. When you get hired just try and talk to everyone you may be working with in the further, it will help you avoid those " whats your name?" situations when important things must get done.

Adderall


Trust me.

Coffee


I mean how else would you get through the day

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** Thanks for reading everyone I hope you enjoyed this survival guide. If you have any suggestion for improvement or things you liked please leave a comment!**

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hahaha. :D love it. You make the best Survival Guides. Keep it up!

I have never survived my first day.

upvoted
@shayne

Survived my first day today :D