I get it now!
Hi there!
My name is @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself and that picture is a recent self portrait of me. I lied. It's actually quite old if you think a year or two is a long time.
Anyway
I've noticed some members of this community like to include an image of themselves to help compliment the most amazing comments they leave under blog posts. I think it's a good idea and respect that because it appears as if they spent all day making sure they got everything just right in front of the mirror. Then, they fuck it all up by adding filters and high quality special effects.
That takes balls.
I can see their balls too. They don't hide them.
I try to get the same sort of attention I require to feel good about myself but I fail, miserably. I think I've been doing it wrong.
Observe
It takes balls but when I show my balls; people scowl and look away, slowly take a few steps backwards, turn, run, and before you can say, "Prairie oysters," I'm in the back seat of a fancy racecar with trippy lights on top.
I even tried to accentuate the positives.
.jpg)
No Dangling Dice
Nothing seems to work. I leave an amazing comment, add my astonishing selfie; what the fuck? Nobody is speaking to me. Was it something I said? Did I sound shallow or hollow or too deep? I just don't get it.
Correction!
Past tense. I didn't get it but now, I think I got it.
They seem to be using a different set of balls and positioning them much higher than they would normally hang.
I discovered this anomaly last night after enjoying a few Christmas party leftovers I still had in the fridge.
Anyway
With all those extra calories to burn, I thought it would be a good idea to get down to brass tacks and come up with a solution. Gotta keep up with the Joneses. You know how it is.
Rather than thinking on my own, I just borrowed their idea. Unfortunately, I could not physically stretch my balls enough to meet the official height requirements. Trust me. I pulled on those damn things all night and no matter what, I could not get them to work with me.
I heard a song one time. It suggested I tie a rope around my balls and jump out of a ten story window. Unfortunately for you, I am unwilling to go that far, for votes.
The Compromise
Now I feel 100% confident with myself and am ready for a night out in the comment sections of all the most successful bloggers in town. They will shower me with gifts and follow my account. All of the men will say hello and want to be my bro.
This is going to be awesome!
Stay classy!
I put a selfie of me in almost all my posts (except the last one).
However, no filter, my face is my face, I don't need any modification.
You got nice balls but your nose is not straight.
With Love,
Sandra
You do not have to defend yourself. The approach to how you do things has substance. There's character and charm behind it. In your video with the "it's okay to stare" shirt, you made a joke of it. You have personality, charisma and you're smart.
Some people use a whole bunch of words that say nothing then flaunt the fake version of themselves to get attention. Nobody likes to be lied to. Because of that, many women get lumped into this whole mess and end up getting shit on simply for being beautiful and intelligent. They might be at the beach enjoying some sun, a few photos were taken, of course the ladies are wearing suitable beach attire, they talk about their day and how exciting it was.... but the message is lost because some asshole thinks those bikinis are only there for attention. A few idiotic females are making the rest look bad by trying to look better than everyone else.
I didn't mock women here today. I stood up for them.
My nose would look even worse, if I did not stand up for myself.
I voted this to the top because I already know how comedy can be misconstrued.
Thanks Sandra.
Thanks dude! I don't know what to say about all these compliments. I have things to say and express and I need to look people into the eyes to do it, that's most of the reason of my selfies. If you knew me in real life, you would see that I am a person that stare and I am incredibly funny, but I lost 70% of my comic side in writing. Videos and photos help, but still in videos I am a bit shy and sometimes stoned :P
Thanks for standing your ground and our ground ^^
Writing comedy and just leaving it here for all to read is one of the biggest challenges I think any writer can attempt. I'm more of the behind the scenes kind of guy. A crazy writer/artist that nobody really knows.. I guess.
In the end, all this was was a bit of satire. Nobody's feelings were meant to be hurt. I'm the one who looks like the idiot and I did that on purpose... because it was fun.
Personally I think we live in an ADD world, so people don't want to read long posts, as much as they want to see short, funny videos.
The material on this post, with the comments, is a standup act unto itself, so I would suggest making a video and go over the comments section.
Personality by person, one by one. Great comments, OMG!
Have a great night out!
This takes a lot of energy but I enjoy doing it. The comment section is the encore performance. I'll stay in character and allow everyone to have as much fun as they want. Provided everyone is a good sport, these things usually go well. This was probably one of the funnest nights I had here and all I can really do is thank everyone for being so damn awesome!
Have you ever thought about doing something like a Digital Art Show ? Or selling your Digital Art? Perhaps it will be a way to even get more people to follow your Creations!!! Just an idea. There's now a platform on the blockchain dedicated to Art Enthusiasts, I saw it on The same website that showed me Musiconomi!!!
I put on a digital art show nearly every day. Then it stays there forever for all to browse.
This is what I do.
My words.
They should come and see what I'm doing.
You're right!! Am I able to share your Creations on my Personal Facebook page? Does Steemit let people do that? (It will go to many more people than if I reblog this , I have close to 1,100 friends on Facebook )
Do you see the facebook icon at the bottom right of the article? Try that or place the link in your status message and press send. Some say facebook censors steemit posts and tries to hide them. You can write a status message, then place the link to this article in a comment below the status message. Try it out. and thank you!
Those ahem finished danglers look like wild burning eyes!
Careful now. My balls do not recommend prolonged eye exposure. Don't stare too long or it'll be your eyes burning next! I keep a few of those white canes handy just in case I go out and some crazy chick actually comes home with me. Always bring protection, they say. Better to be safe than sorry.
I had no idea you looked like the adult version of tickle me Elmo. Just letting you know if you want me to tickle you I'll probably knee you someplace painful and run screaming from the room.
You didn't know about this post explaining why I look like that?
Don't worry. It only made 8 cents. Probably not worth anyone's time.... :)
This also happened. I guess that was part two.
Don't yell at me for the grammar errors. People have to start somewhere!
This post has balls. I'm not sure why you are covered with spagetti though.
I was born that way. My parents worked for Chef Boyardee. That man treated them like slaves... why did you have to bring this up! :)
What happens to make this red spaghetti!
Here I thought they look more like red liquorish unwinded from a twizzles that grew a pair of balls.
Man that Canadian cold really changes things.
Canadian comedy. I guess this makes me Steemit's Jim Carey. Maybe Steemit's Mike Myers. Maybe Steemit's Dan Aykroyd. Maybe Steemit's Martin Short. Maybe Steemit's Seth Rogan. Maybe Steemit's Russel Peters. Maybe Steemit's Tom Green. Maybe Steemit's Lorne Micheals. Maybe Steemit's Tommy Chong. Maybe every funny person comes from Canada. I'm trying my best to avoid talking about my fur because it makes me self-conscious. It's probably just something in the water.
Did you run into the American Ron White and drink from his “tea cup.” You know that not tea right? I mean really who would trust an American claiming they drink tea!
Ron White is actually pretty damn funny. I don't think that's tea in his cup either. That's like saying John Paul Tremblay is actually drinking a liquid.
LOL. I didn't like you before, and now all of a sudden I do. Weird.
Also, I assume you were inspired by this fine piece of artwork in Denver?
It's called National Velvet and it was created by John McEnroe. More info on this awesome Yelp page.
That is a beautiful monument. Thanks for telling me how much you didn't like me!
You're welcome! It's all in the past tense, of course. Water under the bridge. Balls shown, shunned, and then shoved into the back of a fancy racecar. We're going to be alright.
I'm glad my plan worked and we can now be bros. Just gotta let those balls hang out and everyone wants to be your friend. Truly powerful balls.
Hahahahahhahahaha ... hahahahahahhahah...hahahhahahahhahaha...you had some collateral damage during the proces! Love Ya!
Oh you Canadians! I sometimes worry you guys will be frozen as blocks of ice with cabin fever.
This is taking the concept of brain-freeze to all new heights!
You have balls...I like balls.
Finally a post that dares to show some balls on Steem. Hot dang, it was about time that somebody had the guts to show his nuts!
Not do let anybody dare to claim Steemians are afraid to show some balls. You proved them all wrong, kudos!
I'm a baller!
Just wait. Tomorrow, or soon, whenever... it'll be all dick pics. Stay tuned!
Could be like one of them challenges...
"Next up a photo of a dick with an ice-bucket."
"After these messages of our sponsors. So stay tuned, we'll be righhhhht back!'
Oh... it'll be dickly. That's for sure.
This was ballsy! Are you sure you're not bloody because you changed your mind and jumped out of a ten story window?
I can fly!
I just flap my balls. It's not blood. A bloody good day for my balls, maybe. No balls were harmed in the making of this production. I don't think it's wise to take a song like this seriously though. Even my balls agree.
I always wondered what a Juggalo was!
Hahah! This post had me laughing out loud. Thank you for that!
It was my pleasure. Thanks for not calling the cops!
You are never going to believe this but that is exactly how I always pictured you.
That's exactly how I look when I 'picture' me too! Now you know why I hide so much.
happy Christmas to you
Same to you!
This reminds me of a very and meaningful quote said by Vince McMahon: "I got balls the size of grapefruits"
Funny stuff :)
The censors stunted the creative growth of that man's empire. I miss those days. I actually used to watch that stuff.
You should try some Preparation-B to take the redness out of those things.
The circle jerking has gotten way out of hand while you were gone.
But you just might have enough SP to get in on some of that action now, that's probably what's holding you back.
You gotta let the big boys know you hodling lots of SP.
Forget about trying to add valuable content or stimulating conversation.
That was so last summer.
I appreciate your sarcasm today! Please feel free to share this post on every possible social media outlet you can find... if you feel like helping. It's not only up to me to make this message popular. That sort of thing helps.
I did what I could.
I resteemed it.
This is the only social media site I've logged in to in the last few months.
A lot of people don't seem to be to interested in sharing stuff here like they would anywhere else. That's actually counter-productive to this platform's success. I do know of some though, that like to share. I have my own tricks anyway. I'll still get my views over time.
I think a lot of people here are worried that somehow the reward pool will shrink if more people see it.
Greedy and short-sighted.
🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏
Your sense of humor really amazes me!
I’m sure there will many copycats to profit on your ideas but You are like the bitcoin in humor category.
Will I be the copycat? Hell no, I would definitely suck.
I will stick with what I have been doing, read great posts, comment, upvote, post and learn.
Resteemed!
In comedy, you must write your own jokes to be funny. If you're copying someone, it's not actually YOU who is funny. I'm not sure why someone would want to do that to themselves...
Agree, I think they just got your point.
You got me, I really like you!
Are all your posts as funny as this.
I guess I will find out.
lol
Have a look around. I'm certain you'll find plenty of things to laugh at here.
In one of my neighboring home towns Vinning, IA they have a 'Testicle Festival'. Rocky Mountain ostlers. they skin them, cut them up and put them in hot water. They they raffle a shot gun at the end. Perhaps that would get your some votes.
https://www.desmoinesregister.com/videos/news/local/kyle-munson/2014/02/07/5273955/
I'd be a huge hit at that party!
I guess my strategy is just being myself and write much when I have something real to say not just empty words that means nothing.
Share my life when I want and just photograph of nature when I want.
To find our passion and stick to it.. Lol
I guess there are things I still want to do but I just don't have the Balls to 😉 lol
I love reading peoples posts and commenting, that's my favorite thing.... Just can't believe I haven't seen yours before, really have a way of writing and it's really fun and inspiring. Just saying 😉 nice balls btw... Lol glowing!
I've been sitting here writing jokes(for the most part) for a long time. I did end up taking a break though for about 5 months. Been back just over a month. A lot of people are discovering me now.
And I think the whole point of this mess of a post, if there is one.... is .. yeah.. be genuine. People like that. Those silly filters that people put of over their faces are ridiculous though. As soon as I see one, I just see a poser. I dunno. Whatever. LOL
I can tell cause it seems like your jokes in your writing comes as easy and natural as taking a breath, wich is what makes you so Awsome 😉
I understand a break was needed and now you back full loaded and we all are discovering you now 😎 not easy being you right now... Lol
I agree being genuine, that's the spirit. If not... Then what's the point?
Another poser... Yeah... No... Whatever!
Well said! Keep doing your thing and stay as you are my friend. Cheers!
Bahahahahaha. Tea Baggin' Threads
I am left thinking I may never be liked. If I am to leave a selfie on my posts, I might just drive people running screaming for the nearest cliff to hurl themselves from as they claw out their eyes in disgust! Oh well, I always have me.
I love myself, I think I'm grand
So here I sit and hold my hand
When I grow up I'll marry me
And somehow raise a family!
Who needs any body else?
This post is comedy. Satire. It's not about people and selfies. It's about people who use their appearance(which is faked) to advertise themselves as something they are not with the hopes of gaining something and around here that something is money. False advertising which lures in suckers and makes many others look bad. I really shouldn't have to explain this.
And, in return, I should not have to explain that my reply was made in the same vein, humour and jest. But, because you seem to have missed it, I will explain.
I read the post and laughed at your talk of filters etc. I made a joke about how horrible I look. I then made light of needing to be popular.
LOL.
I got the joke, bro. 😉
The upvote is cause your comments (that I've been grading) are AWESOME. Can't upvote them all though. 😉
Best post Ive read in awhile.
It took balls to put that out there.
Thanks.
Hahahahaha funny guys 👦with photo 📷
pls teach me how to irony
o great @nonameslefttouse
Just get out the board and push.
hello good night excellent publication I follow you, I invite you to go through my blog maybe something you like !!
Do you have balls? I like balls!
thank you for all this valuable information bro
My balls are an incredible source of information, bro.
HAHAHA that image is very funny, you made me laugh, the smile feeds the mistress. Thanks for sharing your cute image HAHAHA. I wish you a happy day.
Hello Friend. Really very good post. I am already following you, I invite you to go through my blog maybe something you like and you can support me with your vote.
I now know your face. I will now print it out and put it on my wall as inspiration.
#NotCreepy
The use of artistic images to back up your text is really captivating. Those balls tho😂😂😂😂
jajajaja buenisimo no entiendo nada pero eso parece una araña lol
Wonderful post. Questionable, but good job.
Also, everybody, I want to give you all the chance to shine on a daily challenge located only on our Steemit profile @exemplary. We are currently on challenge #2 (the most recent post). Should you succeed at this creativity challenge, your Steemit profile and response will be announced as the rightful winner to the public during the next day's daily challenge post. Thank you and godspeed with your performance.
My balls eat spam for breakfast.
Unfortunately, my balls are full. I must flag away this spam. The situation can be remedied once the spam is removed. My balls thank you very much.
Oh! Thank you! My information took all night to research and I am glad you enjoy my information today! Why you follow me though? I might lead you over a cliff!
It is excellent information. I know I've seen that mustard stain somewhere before, and the very great information provided above included the word mustard as well. I wasn't looking at your tits. I follow you! No seriously, I already follow you, just wanted to point it out verbally!
Extra percentage point added to vote because my balls jiggled when I laughed at this.
...and yes, I foreshadowed mustard today. So much clever disguised in my stupidity!