In the News
Today I'm coming at you live from the corner of Steemit Avenue and Myblog Street.
In the past, this was a quiet neighborhood. Peaceful, friendly, serene.
People used to come and go on their ways to and from their blog without a care in the world. Kids used to play outside without having to worry about creepy 80's vans lurking about. Kittens had homes to go to and plenty of delicious kibble to snack on.
Things sure changed after the gangs moved in.
Now, there's a broken down shopping cart on the sidewalk to my left, actual cigarette butts on the ground instead of in the proper holding facility, bars on every window to give all inhabitants the impression they have been imprisoned, and strange looking free range crackheads who scream, "Nice post," at everyone they see, for no apparent reason.
Who's Going to Clean Up This Mess?
The government?
Listen. I'm just a fucking reporter. I don't see why I should have to come up with solutions. If I had to solve the world's problems, I wouldn't have time to dig deeper or press harder on the hard pressed issues. I'm here to iron this out, not ruffle the feathers.
Major Discovery
When one looks up to the sky in this neighborhood, their view is obscured.
What could possibly be in the way, you ask?
Posts, of course. Unnatural trees of sorts, sprouting straight from hell and extending all the way up to the heavens. Each one is attached to the next by some ungodly cable. The entire apparatus hums with the sound of electricity somehow passing through like sweet, freshly injected heroin coursing through the veins of one of these local maniacs.
What kind of sorcery is this, you ask?
They call it a blockchain. It's what powers the entire neighborhood. The lifeblood of any good blogosphere now and well off into the future.
Where does the power come from? God?
God? Are you on glue? It comes from The Power Grid, but do not be alarmed.
It's true, The Power Grid has been given a bad rap lately for sitting around, sucking on cheeseburgers all day, getting fat, then passing out on your couch while you're trying to watch the latest episode of whatever the fuck Steve Harvey is up to these days.
This doesn't mean we can't put them on a diet and find them a real job.
What could possibly be draining the source of this magic juice from above, you ask?
Well, the answer to that is quite simple.
Each time one of the walking dead says, "Nice post," that creates static on the blockchain. It interferes with the normal, everyday, back and forth banter bouncing around from post to post. The system wasn't designed to handle shit that doesn't make sense, but still must find a way to accommodate it by sending sparks here, there, and everywhere.
To Put Things Simply
Saying, "Nice post," is a waste of limited resources. If we burn up the last remaining spark just to state the obvious and tell someone what they already know, kittens will lose their habitat and eventually die. That's not fair.
If you want to end up living in a neighborhood with no trees, broken shopping carts and screaming free range crackheads all while surviving only on spam and macaroni casserole, you will continue to sit on your hands and do nothing while your world comes crashing down around you.
This reporter suggests you do the right thing and chase the menace away from your doorstep with a broom. We don't want to hurt them, we just want to teach them a lesson.
Always Remember
Thank You.
How do you come up with these gems?
BTW -
I can't explain where it comes from. It's just there, so I put it here.
Thanks for the post. If you look closely, you'll notice there aren't any cats around to scratch at it. This is because they're going extinct.
OMG haaa hahaha ha.. so funny! Kittens... extinct...
Moo hah ha haaa... Nice... Po...int! Does it count if I ate SPAM off of a kittens back during an arboristic baptism..? Just kidding. :)
On a serious note, it really is a good point.
good post thanks for sharing
This comment has received a 0.14 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @hamzaoui.
A good post. It's an informative, entertaining post. I won't use the 'N' word here-- I happen to like live kittens, or I can at least tolerate a kitten or two.
Excellent response!
Thank you for being there for the kitties and refraining from using that nasty, disgusting, filthy, abomination of a word!
LOL that was entertaining! I have vivid images in my head now :)
Thanks for the smile, @nonameslefttouse!
As Bob Barker would say:
"Help control the kitty population. Say no to spam!"
... something like that, I think.
Hello nonameslefttouse.
I write a Steemit service project. You can participate in a beta test if you reply to this message with a either "@username" or "?username". Replace "username" with any one steemer username and add nothing else to the reply. And @ and ? do something different. Only ever second username will work at the moment, though, you you may try two names.
Thanks!
PS if you like it, give me feedback on what to improve.
Feedback? Improvements?
Flagged for cat murder!
Just a small one. Please don't spam my blog. Thank you!
Okay nonameslefttouse,
"eedback? improvements?
flagged for cat murder!
just a small one. please don't spam my blog. thank you!" is not really a steemer username.
(Or I do not have it and you should try another name.)
You're obviously on something.
kk, I see. Don't reply if you don't want blockchain information - the response is automated (and will also come to this post).
Take care!
We have two kittens, just love to watch them do their thing.
Never mind the static and the noise.
Have a good weekend.
Every time I'm feeling low, I just look at my pussy...
And say hello.
That is some nice poetry, thanks, a pussy can do that...
Later man!
Have a good one!
meep
meep
meep
meep
meep
When I think there's nothing better you could add to this post. Thanks for this, made my day.
Nice pots
That's f*cking funny!
Damn. Those are nice pots. Walmart?
Target'
Nice post
Haha just kidding :) I Agree with you, this spam needs to stop
This cracked me up as most successful internet companies actually try to encourage engagement.
In the name of lost dogs, please SAVE the Kittens.
Just trying to save the world...
One cat at a time!
((This made me laugh much more than it should have, help;;;;
Sometimes though I get people saying "Nice art"
And I'm like... Not sure if spam... or actual compliment... flails
I get similar comments on other websites, but it's usually worded a bit less? I'm not sure, usually people who leave short comments say something like "Cute!" or "Nice! ^-^)"
So it's similar, but...? idk aljfl;ajfl;jsljflsj
Sometimes using less words makes it more meaningful. I take it as a compliment, then I look at their other comments... they say it everyone, and I then feel like I've been raped and left in a ditch to die. That's probably a bit too dramatic. Oh well.
Thanks for laughing!
The was the whole point of this anyway.
XD
I guess yeah, that's a good way to know if they're sincere :3
Your posts are always pretty funny, though sometimes I miss them (like, I'm not online when you post them lol)
But I really love your funny posts when they're like... extra snarky. It's hilarious XD
I'm happy to hear this. Be careful though. Words like that will only encourage me!
Agree.
At least its easy to spot and ignore those meaningless comments. Like, ok I understand somebody wanting their name to be seen in order to get followers. But really? Is that the best you can come up with? Try a little harder, spamming and copy pasting replies will get you more flags than followers, any day of the week.
Bringing something into the table is what makes a difference. Could be an opinion, something funny to say on the topic, an image that fits accordingly, etc. Just bring something interesting and everything should be sweet.
Have a good weekend @nonameslefttouse !
If someone comes up to you on the street and says, "Nice shirt," you'll be proud of your shirt. If you turn around and notice they are saying it loudly to everyone who's wearing a shirt and some people are becoming nervous, you will then realize it was a crazy person and your shirt had nothing to do with anything.
You have a good weekend as well!
You know how to tell a story and give relevant advice ☺️ following you.. Won't want any kitties to be hurt 👍
Nice Post.
I really like your work upvoted.
Please follow me.. FOLLOW ME PLEASE NOW.
This post made me crack up a bit haha.
I'll try to stop myself from killing kittens and causing global warming from now on.
Yes. Save the kitties!
Nice...
No, I just can't do it. Good comments save kittens!
Nice.... Kitty!
I don't eat spam. I eat the look alike version of spam. It's a little cheaper. Maybe that might save a few cats. I know my cat likes the look alike version of spam.
Click? I think that's another mystery meat in a can offering.
I am so happy I wasn't trying to eat or drink anything while reading this post as hard as I was laughing. Well played! (this is a kitten safe reply!)
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Definitely a kitty safe response. Comedy is an artform and I don't know if I did a good job unless they laugh. Thank you!
You didn't say anything about puppies, so....
Nice post!
Hi! I get the humor, and enjoyed it, but I don't appreciate you self voting your comment to the top of this thread. Don't take the flag personally, I'm simply rearranging. You gave yourself a 31% vote and gave my post a 7% vote. You would have earned more had you allowed me to vote for your comment. Something to think about.
No worries, not taking it personally. It's about the only way to get a comment noticed and responded to by most authors with a popular post.
Depends on the author! I treat those who comment well and with due respect and I'll often vote on comments to help maximize your curation reward. You go the extra mile for me, I'll do the same for you.
I see you removed your vote, so I've removed the flag and replaced it with a vote, because I did enjoy your comment.
Fair enough! It's a delicate balance in trying marketing tricks to move up from being a minnow vs actually using the system the way it was designed.
If you say so. I started out at the bottom just like anyone else. No tricks, no gimmicks, many fails.... look at my wallet now. I invested time. Before, we could not buy votes, I didn't try to trick anyone into following me. All I did was put my talent on display every single day.
Agreed! Someone has to be the voice for these nice little kitties.
Somebody said nice post to me yesterday! (Runs around house checking to see if her kitties are alive)...Phew! They're all still alive. But wait the ground it shaking! So many people surviving on spam!!
Look at that! It's so fake, it won't even fall off of a shelf when it's supposed to! I wonder what they put in there to make it do that?
I'm happy to hear about your cats!
This is such a fucking ridiculosuly, amazingly, hilariously, beautifully, absurdly, NICE post
Thank you, gracias, merci, grazie, ありがとう, khop khun mak kha.
I like dogs. Dogs are nice. Dogs are not cats.
Glen Larson is also good. Dogs think they are people. Cats think you want to be cats, silly cats.
I sure could go for good bowl of cat fud right about now though.
Don't judge man, i really like your posts.. they're.. nice..
That's the idea! Erase that "nice post" stuff. Save the kitties!
An artist AND a comedian! Great post! Keeping it fresh, as usual. I always look forward to your posts, especially the art! You inspire.
Well... thank you! Whenever I don't know what to say, I just say thanks for the compliments. I truly enjoy entertaining you folks. Always a blast.
2 kittens dead so far in this thread..
Such a tragedy...
Yet they were warned this would happen!
How do they sleep at night...
I get so tired of it lol.. or worse when ppl comment 5 seconds into a 4 min video
The opposite of feeling good about your work happens when it's clear someone has made an effort to prove to you they didn't enjoy it, by telling you they did.
nice post :D
If you weren't such a fan of my work, I'd be calling you a kitty killer!
I feel more like a dolphin-panda friend who sometimes walks by and tells some weird sht... so you will look and see that there are other weird people around you lol.
I enjoy your comments. You're fun to be around, quite honest, and that blue face cracks me up.
Can we add to that..."Follow me & I'll follow you", that shit has gotten really annoying!
I'm sure the one's making that mistake are starting to realize now how much time they wasted. 2500 followers, 2 views, 10 cents. We can't be treating our following like a statistic and expect to be rewarded.
I think someone may create a bot to downvote people who just comment the same shit over and over again. It's pretty obvious on some of these accounts when you look at their comments.
They're only fooling the foolish.
Excellent news, I congratulate you, keep it up
Time to kill BTW nice post :P
Please don't kill kittens. On the contrary, check out our latest post, we are building a community of fellow #steemcats! Use the #steemcats tag to let us know whenever you post something new about cats on steem!
Are you new? This post was poking fun at spammers in a way. Did you read it? I'm wondering why you'd take it upon yourself to advertise on a post like this. Seriously, you're trying to kill a cat, aren't you!
We're new at this, but of course we satire jumps at first sight! And I'm not a bot, I'm not THAT smart.
Well, just so you know... adding links to someone's blog to promote your own is usually frowned upon here. You can spam all you want in the "post promotion" style rooms located in Steemit chat.
BTW THIS is a nice post
;)
I was really tempted to comment "nice post" lol