You're Entitled to Write Better Titles
And I should know because I've been doing this for years.
Unfortunately I didn't come to class prepared today because the missus had gas and nearly killed me in my sleep.
I woke up gagging and couldn't figure out what the hell that smell was so I started looking around the bedroom for that cat we haven't seen in two weeks thinking maybe it's dead under the bed or something.
Ended up finding a bottle of whiskey and this here swiggy-poo is all I got left.
Ahhhh.
Been drinking all day.
Drove to work. I don't give a fuck.
So anyway it's probably a good time to admit I don't even know why I'm here.
Stop looking at me like that.
I know my life is a mess and I don't need your eyes to be reminding me.
You try living with that woman!
And pay the mortgage while you're at it because I'm fucking broke.
Honey! I know what I can do! Look at this ad on the internet! All I have to do is purchase a franchise, they'll send me the products every month and I just have to go door to door selling them! I can finally have my own office in the basement!
Oh my fucking god. Forty thousand dollars and three lawsuits later...
Today happens!
"It's 8 o'clock! Time to put on your cream!"
She says it's going to get rid of the cracks on my feet but I didn't have cracks on my feet until she started putting this goddamn cream shit on my feet.
I don't even feel like a man anymore!
You see this fanny pack I'm wearing?
She doesn't let me take it off.
I'll strip it off before bed, wake up in the middle of the night to scratch my nuts and what the hell. The fanny pack fairy strikes again! She somehow wrapped the goddamn fanny pack around my waist as I slept. Never admits to it either! She tries to make me think I'm losing my mind.
And now I am losing my mind!
She snuck up on me in shower the other day!
Scared the bejesus outta me!
Then she snaps this picture of my flaccid penis:
and "accidently" sends it to all of our friends on social media...
The entire faculty here knows I have crotch crickets now!
They spray Lysol on everything I touch!
I can't do this anymore.
If you want to learn about titles, go read a fucking book.
Class dismissed.
Holy shit. Amazing. Glad I spotted you on @greencross 's post.
Amazing? Really? Or was it shocking to find that kind of stuff here?
Moreso I don’t organically stumble across well written hilarious shit on here....ever?
I'm having a crappy shift at work tonight, and have come out for my smoko, and this is the first post I have seen. Thank you, I needed a laugh.
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You're welcome! Thank you for enjoying that.
Ahhh I love these classes/lessons/things 🤣
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Mr. Himself was getting dusty.
I was hoping to see a feline as I traversed your flaccidity, but was left disappointed.
Ya know, that would have been a nice touch. But the cat is rare. Cameo appearances only.
Hhahaha your post are so all over the show but so entertaining - I do not know if I need to worry that they actually make sense to me haahaha
A skit from me was long overdue. Mr. Himself is one of my favorite characters to use. Always drunk and nutty. Nothing ever goes right. Nobody learns a thing. Hardest part is hitting post because sometimes people have no idea what they just got themselves into once clicking the post. Long time followers know to expect the unexpected. Visualizing the reaction of someone who's never been to my space before is what cracks me up on this end.
But nutty is good and normal is boring, so you just carry on - your posts are entertaining. I have always loved me some weirdness.
Had a fucked up day, this shit made it better. Thanks man. 👍
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That's why it's here. Thanks for stopping in!
Got a smile out of me and that hadn't happened all day. I think my face cracked just a little bit but it's not the best face anyway so it won't matter. Have a good weekend bro.
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It's been awhile since I last stepped into Mr. Himself's shoes. It often turns into a trainwreck; but nobody sees it coming.
You have a good weekend as well.
Sometimes train wrecks can be good though right? Hmm, ok not so sure but what the hell.
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I guess it all depends upon what's on the train. If it's a load of fentanyl, it can burn. If it's kittens, I'll be jumping out in front and trying to stop it.
Ah yes, it's all subjective isn't it.
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I read your title and I am like damn, its long in the first place!!!!
It's morning this side of the world.
I did celebrate 2 years on the Steem blockchain but got messed up coz my Binance account has issues!!!
Just know I am fucked as I can no longer receive SMS so I can't access my funds...
I will try and see what to do today.
I am going to read a book as you say hahaha...
I'm noticing a pattern a here today. Many of you seem to be having bad days, came here, got to laugh. That all makes my bad day not so bad. Hmm.
Good luck getting those things sorted out. I hope everything works out in your favor.
Thanks for the motivation , I will try to sort it out
I'm so glad I stopped by your page to catch up now! Hubby said I couldn't sit there giggling and not share.
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Even I still laugh when I read this thing; and I rarely laugh at my own stuff.
Must be good stuff then!
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tinny
good n woody!
Dear @nonameslefttouse
I also strongly believe that part of title should be written with CAPS LETTERS. It does attract more attention, either we like it or not.
Yours
Piotr
This was just a joke. It has nothing to do with titles.
I'm a beginner writer I mean writing alone in the house
I have more than a year here at the site
I would be happy if you look at my posts
Did you... look at my post?
I have read two topics now
I liked how you listed topics
What about my penis?
! disrespect
Sorry for the inconvenience
Are you human?
what do you think !?
Hmm, I think I shall respond with scatman!
n boots n pants n boots n pants n boots n pants n boots n pants n boots n pants n boots n pants n boots n pants n boots n pants n boots n pants n boots n pants n boots n pants n boots n pants
I'm only replying to you to get my 6 cent vote.
Actually I wanted to know if you have a Discord account.
I have an account but I don't use Discord.
That's too bad. Wanted to invite you into a chat.
You have no class!
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