The other day, my teenager stomped into the kitchen with the kind of frustration I usually reserve for finding out my favorite coffee shop ran out of my order.
“Mom, we only have six streaming services,” they huffed, arms crossed. “That’s, like, embarrassing.”
Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize we were living in a state of extreme deprivation. Let me just fire up the old dial-up internet and see if we qualify for emergency aid.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but back in my day (yes, I’m officially old enough to say that), we had one TV with basic cable, and if you missed your favorite show, tough luck. You waited for reruns or hoped someone at school was kind enough to act it out for you. Now, we have Netflix, Disney+, Hulu, Prime Video, HBO Max, and Paramount+, yet somehow, my child is suffering.
“Literally everyone has Apple TV+,” they insist. “We’re missing out.”
Oh yes, the great social divide of our time: those who have Apple TV+ and those who are practically living in the Dark Ages. Meanwhile, they can’t even keep track of the five unfinished shows they’re already watching.
The best part? When I remind them that these services cost money: MY MONEY! They act like I’ve personally crushed their dreams. Because, obviously, nothing says “bad parenting” like depriving your child of yet another platform they’ll scroll through for 20 minutes before saying, “There’s nothing to watch.”
So no, we are not getting another streaming service. But I will offer them a free trial of something called “Go Read a Book.”