"Credible Sources Tell Us "
That's bullshit and you know it. There are no credible sources left. I should know. I'm not even a credible source myself.
And, furthermore,
"I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone"
Any bird that can be killed with just one stone is a total pussy. I've never met a stone that could kill me, and believe me, I've been stoned by some of the more incredible stones around in my day. Friggin featherweights these birds you are hanging out with NoName!
It might be bullshit but bullshit is some of the best fertilizer known to humanity and all one needs is a thin layer of the stuff and ideas will start popping up everywhere.
And you know, I tried to make new friends! I really did but every time I just keep going back to these stoned birds because I know they'll have my back even after I throw stones so there's no need to make fun of them. Focus on the red gitch and try not to worry about these things.
If I don't worry about these things, who will? You? Don't make me laugh.
Last "accident" I had was with a stick.. and that was a Woodcock. Poor bird...