Morning Steemit!

How are we today? It’s midweek meaning hump day! On the downhill slope towards the weekend!!

Whilst I’m in the midst of still trying to remember last nights dream, I though I would share with you some embarrassing and funny incidents that have happened to me over the years.

Things that have happened to me

I was at high school and really fancied my PE teacher Mr. Daffern. He was tall, athletic and he had brown hair. He looked like Howard Donald from Take That in the 90’s. My class was playing basketball in the PE hall. One of my teammates was a guy called Darren Allwright. We used to call him Darren Allwrong! He was tall and lanky, had ginger hair and the largest nose anyone had ever seen. Both Darren and I went to catch the ball that was being thrown. He ran into me, the ball smacked me on my face and my glasses came flying off and I went crashing onto the floor! I was so embarrassed! I fancied my teacher so much and now I looked like a crumpled mess! To top it all off I was blind! I was very short sighted and I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face. Had to crawl around on my hands and knees looking for my glasses!

I went to a swimming pool when I was 15 years old. I was wearing a pink patterned swimming costume and my long brown hair was hanging down. I had just come off the fumes and I was walking towards the main pool. I was very proud of my figure as I belonged to a swimming team. I saw a bunch of lads that were floating around where I was heading. I had my best pose on as I was walking to the pool…. then the unthinkable happened! I had slipped!!! One of my legs went up in the air. I fell on my bum on the side of pool and fell in! I didn’t want the guys to see me now! Although, chances are they did and were laughing at me. I decided to swim underwater, right to the other end of the pool! Get me outta here!!!

Another time I was at my local swimming pool. This time I was blind. I was young and I didn’t have contact lenses at the time. I went to the pool with my brother. I think I was 12 at the time. I clocked one of the lifeguards. He looked pretty hot! He looked like Mark Owen from Take That in the 90’s. I tried to impress him with my swimming skills. I swam up and down the lengths, dived off the board and then swam under the water in the deep end pretending to be Ariel from The Little Mermaid. After I was done with my antics, I swam back to where the lifeguard was. I met up with my brother and I said how much I liked the lifeguard. He turned round and said “That’s a woman!” I thought he was having me on. ”Seriously???” I asked. He said yes. I knew my brother wouldn’t lie to me. So much for giving him the eye!

I had just moved into my flat with my boyfriend and we decided to get a couple of kittens. They were 13 weeks old. One was black and the other one was grey and white. They always used to bring things into the flat, birds, mice, feathers. You know, just cat things. One morning I got up as I desperately needed the toilet. I went into the bathroom, put the light on and sat and did my business. I noticed there was a mark on the bathmat. I couldn’t see what it was. I didn’t have my glasses on. I bent down and put my face closer to see what it was. It was only a leaf! I put my big toe on it to kick it to one side. My toe sank into it very slowly. It wasn’t a leaf after all. It was a cats poo!!! I felt sick!