Another of my tales. This one is one of my favorites. Trust me...this one is gold!
Years ago I was working as a journeyman plumber for a company that contracted a lot for property management firms. One of their properties was a Senior Citizen's assisted living home.
It was a Friday afternoon...approximately 3:00 PM.
I received a call to deal with a plugged toilet at the Senior's Center.
Off I went.
I was greeted at the door by a wonderful little old lady. She proceeded to show me her problem and to fix it was pretty straight forward.
I told her that I would begin by using my toilet auger. This is a device to push through the toilet while the toilet is in place to see if I can either push the blockage down the pipes or snag it and pull it back.
More often than not I find things like a hair brush or a toothbrush that gets dropped in, flushed down, and it sticks in the toilet and plugs up.
If that didn't work I told her I would have to lift the toilet and physically flip it over to see what was clogging it.
She became a little panicked and informed me that she was shortly off to Bingo...I couldn't be here very long.
And away I go...furiously snaking the toilet trying to get out quick for her. The blockage let go without me retrieving anything.
A bunch of test flushes with lots of toilet paper later and I declare the toilet usable.
Hooray, I am her hero. Trouble fixed and she makes it to Bingo. Off to home I go to enjoy the start of my weekend.
Fast forward one week exactly. Friday at around 3:00 PM.
I get another call for the same complex.
Get there...same lady.
I tell her the same plan. She once again kiboshes it due to Bingo. At this point my plumbing senses are tingling and I knew that I should lift the toilet but the lady will not postpone Bingo.
Same thing...I auger, clear it, test it and leave. The lady once again loves me!
Fast forward one week exactly again. You guessed it.
Same lady, same call...with one change. NO BINGO tonight.
I proceed to do what I should have done the very first time and lift the toilet.
Now I know plumbing is not considered a glamourous job but some days are a little worse than others.
I flip over the toilet expecting to find the usual toothbrush that I mentioned.
Oh no...way better.
Now if you know how a toilet works there is a curved pathway through the toilet that acts as a trap. Stuff goes through this piping and then drops out of the toilet into the pipe below. That is what is supposed to happen.
In this case I was greeted by the...(stop reading here if you are squeamish or don't like poo stories)...the single largest piece of human poo I ever saw.
Now remember, this little old lady was about 5 feet tall...weighing in at 105 pounds if she had wet clothes on. Yet here was a crap almost the size of the 2 & 1/2 inch outlet hole on the toilet. It was so big and dense it couldn't make the bend to exit the toilet.
But I'm a professional...my job is to fix issues like this.
Out comes the putty knife. I proceed to cut off slices and drop the pieces down the pipe. It was literally like cutting a giant sausage.
Then the kicker.
She has been sitting in the kitchen around the corner and takes this moment to strike up a little conversation with me.
"I have heard stories of where plumbers find money when they are in people's homes" she says to me. "Is that what happened? Did I drop money down there? Am I rich now?".
I couldn't help it and started to laugh. The only thing I answered as I cut off another serving was "I found gold Sweetie."
All is well that ends well. The toilet was cleared, property manager was told of issue and he promised to have the nurses assist her in becoming more regular. Turns out she was pooing once a week...before Bingo.
I never had to go back to her suite but I will tell you I did not feel the least bit guilty for collecting for that service call.
Please see a doctor if you are pooing only once a week...I've seen the what it could do.
I swear that is a true story as all of my plumbing tales are.
Until next time....
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