This is my first entry into #comedyopenmic challenge. I have been experimenting with a few comedy characters and this is the first of them, right out of the box, on his debut, original to steemit. Let me know what you think in the comments section.
BadBoyBaker is a multi-talented media mogul, self-made internet entrepreneur, Drum n Bass DJ by night, mashup baker by day. He's set to take over the world and show them Muppets on 'Great British Bake Off' just how it's done!
I'm thinking of making some full Dtube vlog recipes in character but well BadBoyBaker just got out of Brixton nick so he's keepin it on the down-low for now.
So why bagels? BadBoyBaker is showin his skillz straight up, making the OG of the bread making world right off the bat.
I would love to tell you that this is an ancient family recipe, handed down from mother to son in the 'BadBoyBaker' family line, that I'm now passing on to my bredrin on steemit. Nahhhh, I originally found the recipe on the internet here. I have spent years perfecting my bagel Kung Fu though and I'm about to ‘give it to ya, raw with no trivia’ just like the Wu-Tang Clan.
So, without any further jibber-jabber, here comes the BadBoyBaker.
Throw your flour into a mixing bowl and then add your sugar!
Add the salt, keeping all that crystal shiz on one side of the bowl. Why? Because the cultures in the yeast can be effected by the salt if they come into contact at this point. Don’t mix your substances people!
Add the yeast, other side of the bowl from the salt and sugar and prepare the 300ml of warm water, about 100ml boiled to 200ml cold from the tap. Nice!
You may need to add 2 or 3 tablespoons more water to get that dough humming.This is where we amp up the difficult, it's time to kneed. BadBoyBakers productions have prepared an informative video dropping mad BadBoy science on how to kneed when you kneed to kneed, ya feel? 😉 😜
- The next thing you gotta know is that the flow of your gluten is just right, aighttt! There are two ways, you can test the bounce-back or if you're feeling adventurous try the windowpane method.
- After kneeding that dough and letting it know just who... is... boss, ya gotta let it rest!
Oil a clean bowl, then let the dough sit in a warm place for an hour or until it has risen to twice it's original size. Then punch that BadBoy, punch it down and knock the air out of it. Give it a happy slappin. Then let it rest again for another ten minutes.
- The next step is to slice it up!
- Cut the dough up in to eight pieces then follow the method outlined in the video below to form the dough into balls. The method in the original recipe doesn't work, so this is the second of the BadBoyBaker top tips. Recognize!
- OK, now that you got them perfectly round balls of dough, it's time to get sensual. Flour up your finger and ease it gently through the center of each ball. Spin that bagel round ya finger until the hole is the right size and lay them all down on a greased baking tray to rest and rise for 10 minutes.
Now to stage 865. Grab a large sauce pan, a chopstick and spatula. Heat up a full kettle of water and fill your sauce pan at least half full. Turn the heat up, until it's boiling gently and set your oven to preheat to 425ºF / 220ºC / Gas Mark 7.
This is where the baking voodoo happens! The chewier you like your bagels, the longer they need boiling each side. I started at 1.30 minutes each side and then graduated to 1.45 minutes. Don't start more than 2 mins/side unless you want jaw ache like a Pill-head after an all night rave, ya feel! Check out my boye Stevie throwing shapes after one too many chewy bagels.
The easiest way to transfer the bagels to the pan is to use a chopstick through the hole and keep spinning it while resting it on the palm of your hand. This way the hole gets widened just before the bagel is dropped. Next, boil them BadBoys. I time it with a stop watch and use the spatula to flip them and remove them from the water.
- Final touches to ensure your bagel is slammin and sure to get you noticed around the estate, add some sprinkles! Brush the top of the bagels with egg wash. Or for my vegan mashup posse, cause I know you guys go mental if there isn't a V option, you can dissolve some corn starch in boiling water and use that as a wash. Add your fav sprinkles:
- and then bake in the oven for 20 minutes turning the trays once to ensure that they're browned all over.
I would like to nominate and give big ups, shoutouts to buttcoins + krazypoet and challenge them to step up to the #comedyopenmic 🎤😆
All images/GIF's on this post are mine apart from the one of Stevie raving it up sourced from giphy.com which you can find here. The music used in the videos was sourced from http://freemusicarchive.org - free to use.
Now this is baking nice and good @raj808!
👍👍👍- Very Bouncy Bagelly Bombastic 1st Entry!
Welcome to ComedyOpenMic.
Great entry :)
Nice one @idikuci. Comedy open mic royalty up in this mofo! Thanks for checking out my flava bredrin! Glad to be rockin the mic on the major excite-ing #comedyopenmic. BadBoyBaker is gonna be bringin the 'pain' again soon with a nice rye bread vlog styling to the max, ya feel 😂 p.s. I've updated the title, can I still be considered for the contest?
Absolutely.
Lol yea now im laughing and learning how to kneeeeeed it cuz i need it. thanks ill check it out and try something funny.
be well bro keep bAKING
BadBoyBaker is gonna keep rockin the bread like he rocks the mic every night, ya better believe 😉
Hahaha good job @raj808! This is the first time I'm reading something with a humorous spin from you and I really enjoyed it.
Ha ha, glad you enjoyed the BadBoyBaker vibe @sharoonyasir. I'm thinkin of mixing it up with some vlog recipes on steemit, rockin Dtube with a nice rye/spelt artisan loaf, ya feel? Mixing DJ-ing with vlog baking, displaying those street creds! 😉
Raj!! I was looking for a Part 5 of "Dirty Old Town," but this looks like a fun and worthwhile distraction. As for bagel recipes, "high gluten flour," and all, "meh" is all I can say, bitter as I am about being gluten intolerant, and apparently auto-immune challenged by ALL grains, dairy, sugar, and a long list of other foods, but never are foods I hate on the list of triggers. (No fair! Shaking my puny fist of rage at the unlistening sky!) I look forward to more of BadBoyBaker, but if he keeps baking with gluten and other Verboten Foods, I may stick to Dirty Old Town and ignore this one!!!
@carolkean not to worry. BadBoyBaker is from the mean streets of Walthamstow, London town yehh. I'll put him away soon and finish off 'dirty old town' as the penultimate chapter is waiting to be written. Might be that there will be a gluten free recipe, winging it's way to steemit sometime in the future though 😉
Definitely a new flavor @raj808 and Ima lovin it! ... and now I'm hungry for some of your Kung Fu stylez, bad boy baker bagels 😋 lol
Thanks @blanca237. Shout out to everyone at @promo-mentors, glad you'z heard me out there in the steem-o-sphere, mixin it up, mashing it up and dropping bagel Kung Fu science. It looks a little bit like this 😉:
I'm not even a bagel guy and I enjoyed this post. Great work.
It's about so much more than just bagels, yeah. Him about hip-hop, street culture, drum + bass, street culture, hip-hop and... ermm.... listening to a fat beat while baking 😅 Glad you enjoyed the post @qberry, thanks for checking it out.
yo yo yo....dem bagels be A+ hole'n barm cake. raise'n up da yeast beast...you be circlin up thos Knots. damn...massive impressive, fo Rye my breadrin
Ahhh @buttcoins, crypto-bro coin messiah! Dropping knowledge bout all them tokens, making bread outta virtual-bread if ya get what I'm sayin! Glad ya feeling the badboybaker vibe. We be killin it over in south-west-Walthamstow tonight, rockin mad DnB on a hip-hop tip! Bakin up a storm and dropping some sour-dough flow. Peace ;-)
Rising to the occasion. Gotta love a good donut hole.
Glad it has got ya rising up in da place @acolucky, throwin shapes and gettin sensual with the donut hole 😅 That's what it's all about bredrin. Peace
Frikkin hillarious. Someone put something dodgy in "Bagel Steve's" bagels.
Hey @markangeltrueman, bad-man currator in the house! Glad you enjoyed the bakin vibe bredrin! I'm keepin it real and stayin in character on this one, so just a bit more ridiculous bants on the comments section ya feel! Yeah, Stevie dropped far too many bagels in 93 and him never been the same since 😉. Should be more from the 'baker' soon, might even make a cake and show that Mary Berry who's boss
Diggin the character, so much so that I done the risky bizness on it, if ya know what I mean. AIIIIIII
Maximum respect for takin the risky bizzness bad-man curator ;-) gangster, Aightttt.
Welcome geeza. Bring on dem cookies.
Great post bro!
Nice one @lavidaesunviaje. Good to know the bake-off MC-ing slammm reached all the way over the ocean, droppin gluten based science all the way from the UK... to Lake Atitlán! BadBoy be like blammmm... here's some Angel cake 🍰😉
Just gonna drop this here.
Blingin my post up with the gold bredrin. Mandem wicked + rough 😂
Amazing top draw my friend. The look like strong bagels like the ones back in '99. Keep them coming my friend 💯🐒
Yes yes yes @vibeof100monkeys. I'm cooking up a batch of superman bagels like back in the dayzzz! You know you need some slamin carbohydrates to replace them electrolytes after an all night rave... ya feel 😂
Haha priceless ole Supermen hey those were the days, delivering in your Mitsubishi haha 💯🐒
Oh man my sides split from too much laughing! I love this persona and glad that you did the comedyopenmic!
Ha ha thanks @maverickinvictus. Yeah bro, badboybaker says yes to muffins, cakes, bagels and all types of easy-bakes, ya feel. It's all about spreading the love like butter on your toast, mixin it up with a hip-hop flava and a little misbehavior..... while listening to ghost-faced-killa! 😂
Boom! Eye brows just burnt clean off as the wheat flower of smash tastic was dusted next to the gas hob of creative genius! Am bageling for more. Please please please.
Yes, yes yes... Jay Iddon in the hizouse! Liking ya rhymes bro... your crisp baking stylin and flow. Raising up the roof with a a bit of bageling madness... BadBoyBaker says yesss! 😉
Those are some delicious looking bagels, I'll try the recipe sooner or later, this post made me hungry :D
Yo yo yo, got @ivan-g in the house. Glad you enjoyed the bagels O-G. You should try makin them bro, they take a bit of makin but once you get in the flow it's like a bagel making spree. Nice with a bit of cream cheese and smoked salmon, ya get me! 😉
That does sound great, I'll invite some palls over and have a go :D
Awesome post ! and your bagels look great ! Mmmm! upped and resteemed !💕✌👍😋
Thanks a lot @karenmckersie. Spreading the word on badboybaker productions to the massive on steemit. Cheers for the re-steem, glad you enjoyed the recipe and I followed you back and am checking out some of your posts too 😉 Would love to see you cooking up a storm on the steemBBQ, sounds like the place to be.... Much love, Respect!
How do these hold up in New York ?
Thanks @luckypower