I got a job on steemit. Wooo hooo!😎
How hard can this be I thought? After all, I studied creative writing at university (the most useless degree in the world... until now), proofreading should be a doddle.
While I have read a lot of memorable, wonderful, insightful, teary-eyed epics; I have also had to wade through a tone of... hmmmnn how to be polite, less than memorable, wonderful, insightful, teary-eyed epics of the keyboard.
This post is dedicated to the experts of the art, the bastions of the unbelievable, captains of confusion... I bring you the top 3 greatest google translator gibberish of 2017.
In the top spot, is an article in the life category focusing on the importance of awareness of space-garbage... I think.
People HAVE GOTTEN quite great at propelling stuff into space—however way less great at getting stuff down. Up in bring down Earth circle, alongside a thousand or more gainful satellites, there are numerous more bums: space garbage, enormous waste, rubbish of the most astounding circling request.
I particularly liked the authors use of caps to scream their indignant space-garbage rage at me. The first sentence had me nodding in agreement. Sure, firing our garbage into space could be a real-world problem that needs addressing and how to get it down again, don't get me started! But then the image of orbiting space-bums fighting over the rubbish in the most astounding circling request catapulted me over the edge of surreal. PSML
In second place, an article on art with a difference! I can only assume that the author was going for a kind of Jackson Pollock in words. An abstract amalgamation of the sublime in post modern poetry prose.
Hmmnnnn... or maybe, given the 'RSS feed' and format of random sentences, this indicates the work of a bot. Plagiarism bot! Whatever the case, I want to know where I can buy more of these modern masterpieces.
Submit RSS feed to their last time we talk about people and tell them. RSS feeds from a bottle of nice wine will do, cheap NFL Jerseys from China but it. Nuts will also under quilt that again for all my friends and their kids. Therefore spiritually interpreted Peter and teargas but they did a nice job of which is the most.
Cooking with the sucker in 1998 it is necessary you show up in Bloglines. Many businesses are flourishing. Without a cup of coffee mugs are designed in conformity with different personalities of coffee which. Are everywhere you go home for your.
I loved the advice given to hide nuts under the quilt as a way to entertain friends and their kids. Quickly followed with the sage advice - Without a cup of coffee mugs are designed in conformity with different personalities. So true! I myself drink my coffee from a pint mug, indicating that I have a large heart and am giving in all things. I also confused 'bloglines' with bolognese upon first reading. Leaving me choking with laughter as I digested the image of be-suited business men tangled up in my plate of spaghetti while expounding the importance of the bottom line.
In third place, we have an interesting aphorism that, I think, we can all relate to. Writing with the title the meaning of life this author was setting themselves an ambitious task. Plato, Confucius, and Lao Tzu have all grasped at this elusive gem of the philosophical milieu.
I was exactly 10 years recent after I started thoughtful regarding the which means of life. The terribly thought of it, created Pine Tree State marvel.
I also felt the existential dread of the Pine Tree State marvel, when as a child my grandmother started to clean the toilet bowl with a pine scented disinfectant with a powerfully unpleasant odor! This ruined my childhood play session as the bathtub became strictly out of bounds as a race track for my micro-machines. A lesson to us all I think!
What if the reason Yoda can't speak quite right is that his Google translate is on the fritz
I just checked and the real steemit yoda has been around since 2016 and writes rather severe articles about the state of steemit. No colab me thinks, or rather - colab with yoda me thinks not to be, hmnnnn. Ahhh, sh#t you got me started. Cheers for checking out the post and the upvoteHmmmnnn... speak right Yoda him translator no function me thinks. very good point @comedyopenmic I shall have to investigate whether there is an @ yoda on steemit? Perhaps we could do a collaboration.😅
Teared me up, this comment did.
Hope to see you in the future rounds with such hilarious entries too.
That bit about the space garbage was the best. lolHahaha loved it @raj808!
Ha ha. I'm glad you enjoyed it @yesaye. Yeah, the space garbage got the top spot due to its Scifi theme. I love a bit of Scifi, and well you know... they were highlighting an important point about the evolution of garbage disposal! Thanks for the encouragement mate, I have a tone of these google translator gibberish snippets but am going to have to mix it up in the next round with something a bit different. I will come back with another episode of the top 3 gibberish in a few weeks though. I feel the critics persona taking me over 😉
Sure! Can't wait to read more gems! lol
Nice, a bit of variety would be fresh and entertaining.
I like sci-fi too! Also love anything space-related.
Oh man Raj you killed me with these!! Ok I will stop doing three but what else would i do hahaha
The terribly thought of the Pine Tree State marvel, don't let it in brother! Once it has you, it will never let you go, then where to race the micro machines... where! I'm having trouble with even speaking about it right now. I think I have PTSD@maverickinvictus this is the problem with allowing yourself to mull over
@raj808, men I have tears in my eyes and my stomach hurts. I have not laughed this hard in a while. I know my cousin will find me weird, laughing to myself.
Damn funny bro. The first and the last one killed it. Nice one. Thanks for the laughs
Thanks m8, Much appreciated :-) I was laughing as I wrote this post which made me hope that it was actually funny. I had the same experience on the train the other day when I was watching my friends Dtube video of a character he made called crypto-bro and I just started having hysterics to the point where I nearly choked. All these commuters were staring at me like I murdered their cat. I was on my way home from visiting a friend wearing jeans, very obviously not been to work, while they all had suits on. It just made me laugh even more. Glad you enjoyed the comedy warpedpoetic :-)
Also, the really funny sh*t in this post is
"and edited by me in Microsoft publisher."
I didnt even know that still existed.
Ha ha, publisher is old school Mark, Retro! It's what all the hipsters are using these days. Well, the ones who work in a 'new-media' conglomerate with an exposed brick basement outfit writing content for the crypto blog-o-sphere... awww sh#t I'm giving away my location and job description here. I'm not really sat behind an apple mac wearing glasses with no lenses, drinking a frappe, in a basement in Camden while playing with my goatee... honest!
That's making more sense than some of the stuff you come out with on curie discord dude.;)
Ahhh, but the discord room is where I practice the art of surreal comedy first to make sure it is ridiculous enough. Maybe something about the dangers of the gateway substance that is... vegemite next!
this is great! such gems you have found. my nuts under a quilt with kids is a crack up for sure!
Cheers, glad you enjoyed it :-) Yeah, I have plenty more gibberish recorded but didn't want to use them all up in one fell swoop. Next week, maybe the return of badboybaker, Ya feel.
OMGGG, you are BADDDD......................!!!!!!!!!
Lol...... Some gems you did find! I have seen bad ones for sure, but I have a sneaky feeling you hunt them down for pure joy! :D :D
Ha ha, I do find them naturally while going about my curation activities but there is no reason why I should waste my time reading them lol, other than the gift of laughter 😆 Honestly, some of these posts are just too good for a jester to pass up on. Thanks for checking out my comedyopenmic post ackhoo, glad you enjoyed it
Lol... A pleasure! ;)
SO funny! :D
Featured in this weeks' Isle of Write Curation Report :)
Thanks @bennettitalia. I shall fly on over to the isles steemit page to check that out. I'm glad you enjoyed the comedy m8, it is a post I have been sitting on for a good while and wasn't sure about writing :-)
It was spit take hilarious. More please, if you ever feel up to it :D
Don't worry buddy, there shall be plenty more from me in the comedyopenmic. I'm gonna do at least 1 comedy post per week :-)
I love the humor in your commentary. Good luck to you. I absolutely suck at editing or even wading through poorly written things. I can never come out the other end knowing what to say. Google translate is good for a laugh at times, though :)
Ha ha. It's an acquired taste @byn, editing others work I mean... or proofreading for that matter. I find it really difficult and wouldn't really choose to do it if it wasn't a job lol. Glad you enjoyed this comedyopenmic post :-) This is one critique I did enjoy, I loved getting into that pretentious restaurant critic persona but ripping on google translator gibberish steemit posts instead. My grandmother used to tell me that 'sarcasm was the lowest form of wit' as you can probably tell from this post, I ignored her ;-)